Spouse still drinks in moderation
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 500
My husband still drinks most nights. He doesn't think I am an alcoholic because there is alcohol in the house and I don't touch it. I don't think he even remotely understands alcoholism. At least at my level anyhow. I just feel thankful that I don't have to touch the stuff anymore.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: California
Posts: 195
I don't live with my bf but I'm over at his place a lot. He has a TON of alcohol in his house. For someone who practically never drinks, I'm amazed at how much alcohol is in his house. It's like someone will bring over a bottle or he'll buy some to make a particular drink and it will just sit there. Forever. But, it's his. I'm not going to steal from him. When he does drink around me, it's rare... Even when I'm at my parents house and they drink around me (my parents know I'm an alcoholic, he does not)... It doesn't bug me. I think it's because I know and love these people and I accept that they are drinking for reasons I can never understand. Now, casual friends or a bar setting? No way, I avoid that.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: SE Arizona
Posts: 1,099
Originally Posted by MamaGoat 
A better analogy would be someone with emphysema who has a spouse that still smokes in the house.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: San Diego
Posts: 1
Maintenance drinker
If your spouse drinks everyday he too may be an alcoholic. There are different "styles" of alcoholism. His may be maintenance drinker. This population is one of the more difficult to treat because they rarely have major consequences until it is too late...my stepfather was a maintenance drinker-he had a good job, was a good neighbor, took care of the home, bills, family etc. His doctor warned him that he should attempt to decrease his use and if that was difficult for him to do, the doctor advised seeking professional help. My Stepdad attempted to decrease use, but could not, he attempted AA but hated it-so he continued drinking his wine everyday but then got a diagnosis of liver cancer and very quickly soon after diagnosis passed away. The consequence for maintenance drinkers is often a serious health issue...
The other thing is, it is up to the person to come to the realization that they are dependent on alcohol-it rarely works if someone else tells them. You can have a conversation letting him/her know you are concerned...
The other thing is, it is up to the person to come to the realization that they are dependent on alcohol-it rarely works if someone else tells them. You can have a conversation letting him/her know you are concerned...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,978
Hi Karma,
Mine husband does. I have 100 days as of this evening. There is a liquor store a block away from me which is basically like having it in my house anyway.
I don't want to drink(I do get cravings though). It causes me anxiety thinking about drinking again. I do wish he would quit but that is his decision. If he does ever start to turn into a drunk you had better believe he is not going to want to be around me.
Mine husband does. I have 100 days as of this evening. There is a liquor store a block away from me which is basically like having it in my house anyway.
I don't want to drink(I do get cravings though). It causes me anxiety thinking about drinking again. I do wish he would quit but that is his decision. If he does ever start to turn into a drunk you had better believe he is not going to want to be around me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 162
My wife never drinks around me and never brings alcohol into the house yet I continue to find ways to sabotage my sobriety... Latest episode was finding a large bottle of vodka in my brother's freezer while we were visiting him for a few days. I'm worried that she might not stick around much longer if I keep effing up... Man I'm an idiot... 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Noblesville, IN
Posts: 12
The last six years I spent with my X, I had a good strong sobriety. The wife was a daily drinker, and her friends and most of mine were heavy drinkers. I have little patience for obnoxious drunks, but for the most part I did not let it bother me. I'm praying that I can find that strong of a will to be sober this time around.
Thom
Thom
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,413
My husband usually has one or two drinks each night, for the most part it doesn't bother me because I know that being an alcoholic is my challenge and I have to take ALL the steps to not pick up. However, the relapse that I did have may have been a direct result of him drinking in the house - the bottle was available and he didn't stop me thinking it wasn't as serious as it actually is.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
I'm kinda with howmany. I'm the person with the alcohol "allergy," not my spouse. If she drinks a beer, I'm not exposed to second hand booze.
That said, she's very kind about it. Beer is in the back of the fridge if there at all. She hides the wine, because it still bothers me a little. I don't care if she has a glass, I'd just prefer not to know where the bottle is. Weird, but it works.
That said, she's very kind about it. Beer is in the back of the fridge if there at all. She hides the wine, because it still bothers me a little. I don't care if she has a glass, I'd just prefer not to know where the bottle is. Weird, but it works.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Well, I guess if my boyfriend wanted to go out for drinks sure, as long as I wasn't around afterwards. But no way can it be in the apartment. I was appalled when I returned from a job once to find beer in the refrigerator, fortunately he dumped it because I absolutely knew I would drink it. You are really strong to be able to be around it, I can't. Not now anyway, in my apartment.
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