Robert777

I fully understand. I feel like that right now. A big part of me resents the fact that I cannot drink. Especially on the weekend, I'm young, feel like I should be out having the time of my life, it's the weekend after all. That feeling of missing out is very hard to deal with.

2bhappier

Thanks everyone. As always, you have wise words! I got over being mad and felt a bit glad that I won't wake up hungover which is usually how I spend my Sunday mornings. I just hate all of this thinking about drinking and truly hope it does go away eventually.

Hevyn

2bhappier - I felt exactly that same way in the early days of quitting. I was sorry for myself and resentful. I had no choice though - I had proven many times that there was no such thing as just getting relaxed & happy for me. I drank until drunk and stupid every single time. So yeah - it will be very lovely when you wake up tomorrow with no hangover. For me the obsessing over drinking/not drinking went away. Now, it rarely crosses my mind.

HeartsAfire

Nothing I can say that hasn't already been said. There are some brilliant responses on this thread. You might not want to hear them now; you want to be angry & that is completely understandable. Keep them in your pocket for later and use that anger to kick you AV in the butt & out of your life tonight.

((Hugs))

malcolmsloan

I agree with everyone questioning the concept of "normal" as an adjective to describe drinking or drinker. I think "normal drinking" is a fantasy, an illusion, of the alcoholic, a phrase our AV uses to trick us. I know one person whom I guess we would call "normal." He can have a drink-one drink-here and there and never crave or desire it. It's just another beverage for him. I've seen him have a drink poured for him and forget that it was there and not drink at all that night. I can't even fathom this. When I start to fantasize about drinking, this is not what I fantasize about, having one 12 oz beer, or one single glass of wine and stopping: Never been able to do that, so if that is "normal" it's not really what I want anyway. I want to get fu!@# up and my AV will pull out all the tricks to get me to do it.

For me, as soon as I let go of that kind of thinking, the "normal" stuff, I felt so much better, so much more at peace. Achohol simply does not apply to me. The stuff almost killed me, took away everything. If I accidentally drank gasoline, I would not be sitting here thinking "I wish I was a normal gasoline drinker."

MythOfSisyphus

These folks have it right- you might as well be mad at the sky for raining or mad at your parents that you aren't taller. It is what it is. Maximize what you now have.

lifetplant

Cancer is a disease, motor neurone is a disease, measles is a disease! Huntingtons chorea is a disease. I have huntingtons, I therefore have a 'disease'........there is nothing I can do to change that, it is progressive and there is no cure, I can't just suddenly decide i'm not going to twitch anymore or i'm going to start remembering things again, it doesn't work like that!

I am also an alcoholic, reversible............IT IS NOT A DISEASE! I have the power to change a habit or my learned behaviour, I don't have that power to change my Huntingtons diagnosis............now tell me what a 'disease' is!!!!!!!!!

I'm so sick of reading about 'disease' on this website. I believe that it is an invaluable resource for a lot of people, myself included but I am so sick of reading about people using the 'disease' excuse.......just put the friggin drink down..........with that, i'm also speaking to myself.

Threshold

It's normal to not drink. Lots of people don't drink, for all sorts of reasons, or no particular reason at all.

If we use alcohol as THE point of reference in our life...that's messed up. THAT is not normal. When it's no longer THE issue and the thing we measure our days by, ourselves by etc...I think we are approaching normal.

Booze is not the only thing enjoyable in life. Cultivating other interests, activities etc helps us wake up to the fact that there is a whole wide world out there and now we can take part in it...like NORMAL people!

UnixBer

The glamour of alcohol, wine etc. is gone pretty well. I can also relate to the anger and frustration of being 'an alcoholic', since it means a limitation. But simply because many other people seem to do it and society says it's cool doesn't mean it is any of that. Actually I think now that I'm lucky not to have to drink anymore. It's something I could've done without from the beginning. I don't see anything glamorous in ingesting poison and making a fool out of myself in an intoxicated state. If society says stupid is cool, would you choose to be stupid to be cool?