Garen

Good morning everyone,

Had a rough day yesterday. Had to deal with an individual that gets under my skin. He's like real OCD and easily irritable which is completely opposite from how I am. Then he started to get rude and said if I don't get something right and get it working we are both going to have a bad day tomorrow. I was just like fine, whatever dude, go get laid or something.

But it became clear to me that I do not know how to deal with days like that. I tried but caved and had a couple drinks. It wasn't a lot, but still, I still had problems sleeping from lack of drinking same as last night, but still I didn't meet my goal.

I couldn't go exercise because I had already done that and my body is sore. I couldn't focus on anything was just upset and frustrated and didn't know how to deal with it. It makes me mad when other people take out their problems on others. I am lacking basic life skills.

whiskeyman

I had the same thing yesterday so I got out of my head by calling a friend that was in the hospital. Then i went t o a meeting. took the dog for a walk.

All small things but tried to focus on if I had a part at all in how the situation played out.
It is usually my TONE that keeps a confrontation moving.

Garen

The agency I work for is disorganized and is having employee turn around problems. It's a state job so things naturally take longer. It isn't my fault and it isn't his. But I think by now he should have figured this out. I kept calm and kept reassuring him, I've been in IT for 9 years now and I kinda know what I am doing.

I honestly don't know why it even bothers me. I never get in trouble. It's just all meaningless.

bigsombrero

I think that every day, we can find an excuse to drink. Maybe you'll have a great day at work today and go home and have a few to celebrate, because you've earned it? Family problems, work issues, school, stress, happy times, women, relationships....you name it: we drink.

This is less about one work incident, and more about how you're addiction is convincing you that you need a drink. If you can somehow digest that fact, and come to terms with it, you'll be on the right path. This was a great question and it shows you're trying to find some answers, I hope you can find them.

doggonecarl

Bigsombrero is right. We drink. Sounds to me like you handled the day to the best of your ability and that your co-worker was the one with the bad day. Imagine if he went home and dealt with it without drinking.

You can too.

Garen

Thanks bigsombrero,

I almost didn't want to post and admit I slipped a little bit, but I guess if I want to get this figured out for good I am going to have too.

I think if I had a great day instead of a bad day, I would not have drank. Seems to be the desire to drink is stronger when bad things happen. Good things, not nearly as much. I can go buy ice cream or play a video game or celebrate in other ways.

I tried to play a computer game to take my mind off but kept dying and that didn't help my mood. Maybe I should just save my exercising for after work hours and not during lunch.

sugarbear1

when I have a bad day I try to talk to someone else, see how they are doing, or help someone who is new and struggling. it gets me out of my own self

Pipefish

Somehow, the acceptance that, other people can act like a***holes too, helps me. They can, really they can. If I can, they can too. That's just life and people.

It was a revelation to find that out in the AA programme. It IS however, put much more politely and compassionately! Something along the lines of "most people are to some extent spiritually unwell' Without a doubt, when it's me being the tool, I'm not in a good place.

What that does for me is acknowledge that not everything is about me; when a.n. other is being difficult, they're just acting out in their own special way, and there is no need or requirement for me to take it personally or to drink on it. That recognition helps me cope.

Next time, offer to make him a cup of tea....and make sure there are biscuits! It's worked for me

bigsombrero

Glad you posted Garen, it's a good sign for sure. Regarding the video games, etc - something that really helped me was changing my after-work habits. There was actually a butt print in my couch from sitting in the same spot every night, and the armrest had a water stain from all my bottles/glassware. When I first quit, I still sat in that same spot and put water instead of alcohol on my armrest....and it wasn't easy. It's not just about putting down the booze (though that's a huge part of it), it's about changing your routine.

You mentioned the gym is a hobby of yours, and maybe adding that routine at a different hour would be helpful. Take a drive, draw a picture, heck, call your mother or a long-lost friend. Tonight, do something "different" that's out of the norm. Find a way to occupy that block of time that you spent drinking with a new activity. Might help!