Keep your eye on the horizon
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Keep your eye on the horizon
This is a post for all the newer newcomers. 
I know those first weeks( and for me even months)are hard. By the time I got sober I was structuring my life around drinking, more so than I realized. The first time doing anything was rough, but I continue to be amazed at how quickly I was also able to unlearn ridiculous habits and associations. I realized today that I was checking the sunset/sunrise calendar for my town because the sun goes down too soon and there is so much more I want to do.
The fourth month has been the hardest so far, mostly because I felt blah. I complained about it often on here. I think I felt that I had been sober long enough by then to start seeing major progress, and there was nothing I could do to shake the grayness. But then I started having a day, two days, or more in a row where I started to feel more energy and enthusiasm. I hit 6 months on the 27th. The thought of drinking is actually becoming off-putting often, when I think about it I remember how that first glass of wine just made me feel tired. Which of course meant I would quickly consume more to make up for that feeling.
I am starting to see the positive returns on my sobriety, I am starting to see order restored from the chaos. I can't believe I am sleeping, after almost 20 years on Ambien and a decade on Klonopin, countless sleep doctors and clinics. I used to panic if I was getting low…..afraid I wouldn't have "enough".
I guess that is what sobriety has brought me, the ability to just be. I am still a newbie too, and I imagine things will continue to improve. But for today I am filled with gratitude, sobriety today has made me feel like I finally have "enough". To all of you who are just getting started, it can be really rough in the beginning, but it gets easier. It's one of the only situations in our lives where we start out with the hard stuff first, only to graduate to the easier stuff.
")
I know those first weeks( and for me even months)are hard. By the time I got sober I was structuring my life around drinking, more so than I realized. The first time doing anything was rough, but I continue to be amazed at how quickly I was also able to unlearn ridiculous habits and associations. I realized today that I was checking the sunset/sunrise calendar for my town because the sun goes down too soon and there is so much more I want to do.The fourth month has been the hardest so far, mostly because I felt blah. I complained about it often on here. I think I felt that I had been sober long enough by then to start seeing major progress, and there was nothing I could do to shake the grayness. But then I started having a day, two days, or more in a row where I started to feel more energy and enthusiasm. I hit 6 months on the 27th. The thought of drinking is actually becoming off-putting often, when I think about it I remember how that first glass of wine just made me feel tired. Which of course meant I would quickly consume more to make up for that feeling.
I am starting to see the positive returns on my sobriety, I am starting to see order restored from the chaos. I can't believe I am sleeping, after almost 20 years on Ambien and a decade on Klonopin, countless sleep doctors and clinics. I used to panic if I was getting low…..afraid I wouldn't have "enough".
I guess that is what sobriety has brought me, the ability to just be. I am still a newbie too, and I imagine things will continue to improve. But for today I am filled with gratitude, sobriety today has made me feel like I finally have "enough". To all of you who are just getting started, it can be really rough in the beginning, but it gets easier. It's one of the only situations in our lives where we start out with the hard stuff first, only to graduate to the easier stuff.
")
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Allentown, PA
Posts: 51
Thank you for this post, and it's true. I'm at 4 1/2 months right now and I feel Blah. I got the week off for the Holidays and I'm looking forward to getting back to work, which blows my mind. It is amazing how i feel compared to 4 months ago. This is the longest I've been sober, I quit and started back up so many times that I know I can't go back, not worth it, nothing good will come of it. It is a bit of a process learning to live daily life, even simple things, without alcohol. I've felt the anxiety and panic in my life reduce so much, so hopefully that continues. Also I feel like I now contribute something to society, which is rewarding. I find myself getting really mad at myself that I lost control of my drinking, jealous that I can't have a drunk night and not continue drinking the next morning, or having a few beers a day, it just isn't me, and I had to accept that. Envy is not good, but I have it now and then. But overall sobriety is def. worth it and it does show with time. Thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 35
I'm on month 5 and was feeling much the same way. I just finished reading "Under the Influence" which has been life altering and has made me appreciate my new found sobriety even more and want to work harder to retain it! I have been prescribed at least 3 or 4 different anti depressants in the past 30 years for anxiety and panic attacks to treat symptoms that were CAUSED by my drinking rather than CAUSING me to drink! I'm on nothing now and sleep most nights like a baby!
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