lifetplant

This is something I've been wondering for a while. I've always been apprehensive about posting it, for fear of sounding superficial.

We all look different aesthetically. This is directed to both boys and girls. We all know our own face, within that face, we know when it looks bad.........not sure whether any of us know or appreciate or accept when it looks good. I'm talking, fresh, health, hydrated: i'm not talking GQ or Vouge here!

I've just been once again on a massive binge. It's been on and off for months now. I'm noticing things I didn't before, yes there are dark circles under the yes, yes there are collection of fluid under my eyes sometimes creating sacks, yes I look grey.

This isn't a medical question, i'm just wondering, am I in the same boat and long to turn it all back around? I wake up in the morning and my arms don't look the right colour, pinkish pinhole type spots, they retract during the day! I've some medical back ground so I know where it's all coming from.

OKAY: long route for a short cut. I guess my question is: Was the change in your looks a rescinding or contributing factor to you decision to quit?

PurpleKnight

It wasn't one of the top priorities at the time of quitting alcohol, the main was health on the inside, all the organs being strained/damaged internally on a daily basis, also I guess you could call it the emotional effects of alcohol, the constant hangovers and feeling awful.

But in the back of my mind I did know appearance would be improved also, and that was something to look forward to, but I don't think on it's own it would have given me enough of a motivation to become Sober.

The beginnings of abdominal pain was the straw that broke the camel's back!!

Thepatman

Absolutely. I ended up with premature spider veins on my face, I'm just 39.
Usually you see old folks with them on their nose.

KateL

I'm afraid I am a bit vain so yes, fifty percent of my decision to get sober was about the way I looked. x

foolsgold66

Looks had no bearing on my decision that I'm aware of. If that can be a reason for you, I say please let it be a reason.

Cathryn2001

Yes, yes, yes--huge reason.

I was sick of hauling myself to the gym without seeing any results (numbers on the scale kept creeping in the wrong direction); my clothes weren't fitting and I kept needing to buy larger sizes, primarily due to the bloat around my mid-section.

I was also tired of slathering on loads of make-up to conceal redness around my nose and circles under my eyes. My complexion was lackluster and my face was always puffy.

I appreciate the way I look, now. Things that regular people might take for granted (i.e. white eyes, healthy flush in my cheeks, fainter spider lines) fill me with joy.

lifetplant

Cathryn2001: You are talking about exactly me. I've noticed my nose getting redder. I worked a morning shift this morning starting at 7am. Now for that I used to get up at 5:50, quick shower and out the door. I had to do the wake up time early to take the time to make sure the hair looked clean: giving myself longer in the shower to counteract the hart palpitations and the breathlessness from trying to wash mohair too vigorously!. The rest of the time was spent trying to cover up the red eyes and dark circles. I'm luck, it's summer here ATM, no one has pointed out yet, but if they do, i'll just blame it on too much time in the sun........but how long will they fall for that one!!

Anyone with similar symptoms, how long did it take to go away? Does the red nose ever stop being red, do the spider veins go away? I've done 30 days sober and from memory I think they did, but hey, that time it didn't seem to be a worry so prob didn't exhist..............i think that's caused progression.....in the negative sense.!

lifetplant

Just FYI My hair, NOT mohair!!!

advbike

Nope, wasn't a factor, other than my rapidly graying hair seemed to be one more indicator that I was pushing the limits. I was more concerned about the anxiety, poor sleep and possible organ damage. But sure enough, it has darkened up again, as it always does when I have quit for more than three months, although, ahem, it still has plenty of gray in it, ha ha. And my skin does seem better although it was never that bad.

firstymer

Interesting. My unscientific assessment of the responses so far suggests that, for the girls, physical appearance was a significant factor (in some cases the dominating motivating factor) for sobriety. For us boys, not so much. A difference between you "beauties" and us "beasts" maybe.

KateL

Lol x

lifetplant

As said, I was interested in another perspective, a different one. I read here so many times about the 'rock bottoms' the DUI's, the financial difficulties, the health problems (i'm prob ticking 3 out of four boxes already here)! But I am no queen beauty I assure you, but, i'm a visual person. Yeah I look back, think of all the things i've done wrong, the people i've hurt, etc, etc. But for me..........I've just finally taken a look in the mirror.

JackieC

Maybe not a motivator but more an indicator to me of the epicness of my problem. I used to be able to look decent if I took some time and made an effort. But for the last year, I can't look right no matter how hard I try.

I think it's a combination of things -- for one, I have a lot of self-hatred so when I look in the mirror, I'm destined to be unhappy with what I see to some degree. I would look myself in the eyes and ask "Who are you? What have you become?" All the lies and shame and secrets made me hate my own reflection. THAT is the single best part so far of being sober -- I can look in the mirror and say to myself "The past is the past. You can't change it. But you are here now, trying the very best you can to be the best possible you." I can look THAT person in the eye and even find some beauty there.

Secondly, I think gaining weight and aging in my face and skin so quickly has shown me the effects the alcohol is also having on my body, effects I was able to ignore for years when I was younger. Now I'm past 40 and things like that catch up with you really quickly at this age. It's like I can see the proof of the poison I've been ingesting every time I look in the mirror.

I'm only on Day 6 so obviously I haven't seen a positive change in my appearance on the outside yet. I'm assuming it will happen and I certainly look forward to it. For one thing, I'm a single mom so I do have hopes of someday finding a life partner out there! I think we all know it's cyclical -- we'll exercise more because we're not hungover, we'll eat better because we're not drunk and making bad food choices, we'll actually wash our face and brush our teeth at night instead of falling into bed and passing out.

So I do have great hope that both my insides and my outsides improve.

Jackie 122213

DoubleDragons

I didn't realize how much my drinking was affecting my looks until I quit drinking. My husband, to support me, has all but quit drinking and we both are shocked at how much younger and better we both look. I am at my three months sober mark. Also, I am back to my ideal weight without having to do any crazy dieting. So, I can't say it was a motivation in my quitting, but my looks are a motivation to stay sober. We just spent Christmas with extended family who are heavy drinkers and smokers and I really noticed how much healthier my husband and I looked compared to them.

Cathryn2001

I'm at a bit over 5 months, and I think that it took a few months for the redness round my nose to fade (still there, but not nearly as noticeable). Waistline bloating had diminished markedly by the one month mark; weight is down about 10 pounds since July. Facial puffiness has been a work in progress (too many cookies to replace the beer?), though I think it's better now. Most noticeable--the whites of my eyes brightened after a few weeks.

P.S. Lifetplant, I love the quote from your dad in your signature line. Words to live by!

ImperfectlyMe

It wasn't the main reason I quit but defintely toward the top of the list. Actually googling a rather vain sobriety question is how I found SR. I haven't drank since April 8, 2013 and I can tell you every part of my physical well being has improved including appearance. That alone is enough to keep me from drinking ever again. Keep up the sobriety the eyes are one of the first things to start to look alive again!

lifetplant

Unfort Cathryn, he died when I was too young to know him (15 months), but it was always his saying, it was written on my cot in big fluffy letters shaped into balls and the first sentence I ever leaned to say before learning to read! ( i poss may have learned "Mum and Dad" first but it was def the next sentence)! Ha. Any yes Cathryn most def, "words to live by" ....He didn't have the chance....even more important therefore I do.

doggonecarl

I am sorry to see you still struggle with quitting.

For whatever reason you choose to get on the sober journey, good luck. Maybe addressing why you drink will be as helpful as searching for a reason to quit.

sugarbear1

My insides were dying.

Getting sober has improved my appearance vastly!!! Start with 30 days....

jmd003

Absolutely. It was a factor for two reasons. Partly because the way I looked indicated that I wasn't very healthy. However, the idea of looking better just for the sake of looking better was a motivator as well. I'm back on day 1 now, but I've had some sober time. And I rapidly started to lose weight. I wasn't that heavy, but I did need to lose 10 pounds. Also, my face started to look better. Eyes brighter, skin smoother, no bags under my eyes. Also normal looking teeth instead of always a bit stained because of the wine.

So yeah, it motivates me.