Beauty ( in the widest possible context) from the outside or within
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 553
Yes, it was a big motivator for me although my insides were suffering just as much as my outsides. I also gained about 50 pounds from drinking over the past few years so besides the blood shot eyes, bags under my eyes, horrible skin, and massive breakouts all over, the weight was always staring me in the face. I wouldn't say it was the number one reason I quit though. The number one reason is because I was mentally insane and destroying my life and those around me.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Physical appearance wasn't a factor for me - I was never an oil painting 
Inner beauty tho - that was...I was changing into someone I didn't want to be, doing things I never would have done once and thinking things I never would have- ever.
My soul was dying.
I'm glad I clawed myself back from that.
Make 2014 your year LT. Leave no stone unturned - let nothing be too much effort.
I know it's been a dreadful year, but there must be a time when we get up from the floor, dry our tears, and move on.
You have a lot to give LT
you deserve a lot better than what you've been giving yourself lately.
D
Inner beauty tho - that was...I was changing into someone I didn't want to be, doing things I never would have done once and thinking things I never would have- ever.
My soul was dying.
I'm glad I clawed myself back from that.
Make 2014 your year LT. Leave no stone unturned - let nothing be too much effort.
I know it's been a dreadful year, but there must be a time when we get up from the floor, dry our tears, and move on.
You have a lot to give LT
you deserve a lot better than what you've been giving yourself lately.
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: East Sussex
Posts: 326
Originally Posted by firstymer 
Interesting. My unscientific assessment of the responses so far suggests that, for the girls, physical appearance was a significant factor (in some cases the dominating motivating factor) for sobriety. For us boys, not so much. A difference between you "beauties" and us "beasts" maybe.
I used to be alright in the women department, not now because i know i look like i'm a heavy drinker and can't be bothered.
All i can say is 2014 lock your daughters away ;-)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 551
Originally Posted by Django
Speak for yourself my friend!I'm 24 and to be honest i could pass as 35 due to my drinking habits. Nose and cheeks are red and i have to moistureize to help my skin going dry.
I used to be alright in the women department, not now because i know i look like i'm a heavy drinker and can't be bothered.
All i can say is 2014 lock your daughters away ;-)
I used to be alright in the women department, not now because i know i look like i'm a heavy drinker and can't be bothered.
All i can say is 2014 lock your daughters away ;-)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: East Sussex
Posts: 326
Originally Posted by Cathryn2001
Bwhaha! Great attitude!
And that is the first time i have been confident about something like this even if it is just writing it down on a forum,sad really.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 551
Originally Posted by Django
Thing is Cathryn i used to be able to get away with it because of that attitude. Now i know i look like i drink a lot and just can't be bothered. Alcohol takes so much out of you in every aspect of life and i'm only just starting to get a hold of it.
And that is the first time i have been confident about something like this even if it is just writing it down on a forum,sad really.
And that is the first time i have been confident about something like this even if it is just writing it down on a forum,sad really.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: East Sussex
Posts: 326
Originally Posted by Cathryn2001
Not sad at all. I think putting our intentions into words, either spoken or written, makes a big difference! Agree--alcohol annihilates us. Every step to break free counts.
Makes me sound like quasimodo at the moment haha!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
It was not a motivating factor for me at all. I would never have been able to stop drinking because I wanted to look better.
My health (physical, spiritual and mental) was in jeopardy. I was about to lose everything I cared about.
And, yes, looking better was a benefit for sure, but I cared so much more about how I felt about myself.
My health (physical, spiritual and mental) was in jeopardy. I was about to lose everything I cared about.
And, yes, looking better was a benefit for sure, but I cared so much more about how I felt about myself.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Between the Moon & the Stars
Posts: 211
My appearance had nothing to do with my getting sober. By the end of my drinking, I weighed 82 lbs. because my body could no longer absorb any nutrition. I was diagnosed as being severely malnourished. My cheekbones were sunken, eyes red & swollen and skin was ruddy. Nothing attractive about that.
I didn't even realize how much better I looked until 3 or 4 months sober, so I saw it as a perk.
I didn't even realize how much better I looked until 3 or 4 months sober, so I saw it as a perk.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,432
Hi lifetplant;
As I recall you are a Rilke fan. Me too. This quote seems applicable:
Faces
Have I said it before? I am learning to see. Yes, I am beginning. It's still going badly. But I intend to make the most of my time.
For example, it never occurred to me before how many faces there are. There are multitudes of people, but there are so many more faces, because each person has several of them. There are people who wear the same face for years; naturally it wears out, gets dirty, splits at the seams, stretches like gloves worn during a long journey. They are thrifty, uncomplicated people; they never change it, never even have it cleaned. It's good enough, they say, and who can convince them of the contrary? Of course, since they have several faces, you might wonder what they do with the other ones. They keep them in storage. Their children wear them. But sometimes it also happens that their dogs go out wearing them. And why not? A face is a face.
Other people change faces incredibly fast, put on one after another, and wear them out. At first, they think they have an unlimited supply; but when they are barely forty years old they come to their last one. There is, to be sure, something tragic about this. They are not accustomed to taking care of faces; their last one is worn through in a week, has holes in it, is in many places as thin as paper, and then, little by little, the lining shows through, the non-face, and they walk around with that on.
--Rainer Maria Rilke
I often think about how many times I've changed my face, and how I've run out of changes and must now make do with this last one.
But perhaps the lines, the wear and etching of hard-won rounds are where the beauty actually lies and the cult of Beauty has us all fooled.
As I recall you are a Rilke fan. Me too. This quote seems applicable:
Faces
Have I said it before? I am learning to see. Yes, I am beginning. It's still going badly. But I intend to make the most of my time.
For example, it never occurred to me before how many faces there are. There are multitudes of people, but there are so many more faces, because each person has several of them. There are people who wear the same face for years; naturally it wears out, gets dirty, splits at the seams, stretches like gloves worn during a long journey. They are thrifty, uncomplicated people; they never change it, never even have it cleaned. It's good enough, they say, and who can convince them of the contrary? Of course, since they have several faces, you might wonder what they do with the other ones. They keep them in storage. Their children wear them. But sometimes it also happens that their dogs go out wearing them. And why not? A face is a face.
Other people change faces incredibly fast, put on one after another, and wear them out. At first, they think they have an unlimited supply; but when they are barely forty years old they come to their last one. There is, to be sure, something tragic about this. They are not accustomed to taking care of faces; their last one is worn through in a week, has holes in it, is in many places as thin as paper, and then, little by little, the lining shows through, the non-face, and they walk around with that on.
--Rainer Maria Rilke
I often think about how many times I've changed my face, and how I've run out of changes and must now make do with this last one.
But perhaps the lines, the wear and etching of hard-won rounds are where the beauty actually lies and the cult of Beauty has us all fooled.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
Hi lifetplant;
As I recall you are a Rilke fan. Me too. This quote seems applicable:
Faces
Have I said it before? I am learning to see. Yes, I am beginning. It's still going badly. But I intend to make the most of my time.
For example, it never occurred to me before how many faces there are. There are multitudes of people, but there are so many more faces, because each person has several of them. There are people who wear the same face for years; naturally it wears out, gets dirty, splits at the seams, stretches like gloves worn during a long journey. They are thrifty, uncomplicated people; they never change it, never even have it cleaned. It's good enough, they say, and who can convince them of the contrary? Of course, since they have several faces, you might wonder what they do with the other ones. They keep them in storage. Their children wear them. But sometimes it also happens that their dogs go out wearing them. And why not? A face is a face.
Other people change faces incredibly fast, put on one after another, and wear them out. At first, they think they have an unlimited supply; but when they are barely forty years old they come to their last one. There is, to be sure, something tragic about this. They are not accustomed to taking care of faces; their last one is worn through in a week, has holes in it, is in many places as thin as paper, and then, little by little, the lining shows through, the non-face, and they walk around with that on.
--Rainer Maria Rilke
I often think about how many times I've changed my face, and how I've run out of changes and must now make do with this last one.
But perhaps the lines, the wear and etching of hard-won rounds are where the beauty actually lies and the cult of Beauty has us all fooled.
As I recall you are a Rilke fan. Me too. This quote seems applicable:
Faces
Have I said it before? I am learning to see. Yes, I am beginning. It's still going badly. But I intend to make the most of my time.
For example, it never occurred to me before how many faces there are. There are multitudes of people, but there are so many more faces, because each person has several of them. There are people who wear the same face for years; naturally it wears out, gets dirty, splits at the seams, stretches like gloves worn during a long journey. They are thrifty, uncomplicated people; they never change it, never even have it cleaned. It's good enough, they say, and who can convince them of the contrary? Of course, since they have several faces, you might wonder what they do with the other ones. They keep them in storage. Their children wear them. But sometimes it also happens that their dogs go out wearing them. And why not? A face is a face.
Other people change faces incredibly fast, put on one after another, and wear them out. At first, they think they have an unlimited supply; but when they are barely forty years old they come to their last one. There is, to be sure, something tragic about this. They are not accustomed to taking care of faces; their last one is worn through in a week, has holes in it, is in many places as thin as paper, and then, little by little, the lining shows through, the non-face, and they walk around with that on.
--Rainer Maria Rilke
I often think about how many times I've changed my face, and how I've run out of changes and must now make do with this last one.
But perhaps the lines, the wear and etching of hard-won rounds are where the beauty actually lies and the cult of Beauty has us all fooled.
This question was never intended as a discussion about aesthetics but there is a bit of vanity there. I challenge anyone to argue otherwise. Surely looking healthy on the outside screams volumes of how healthy we are on the inside, physically and mentally, perhaps to a lesser degree spiritually, i'm not talking botox here, never had it or any other forms of treatment in my life. My intention ever to quit has never been solely about looks, it's just yet another motivating factor to add to the what seems a never-ending list, unfortunately still one I have yet to achieve.
I was just interested in other peoples thoughts.
Thank you to all for your replies.
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