New to the site, here out of necessity
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Edwardsville, IL
Posts: 82
New to the site, here out of necessity
Hello all. My name is Chris. I am 32 years old with a wife and 2 sons. I was doing good for a long time. I went from June 9th 2006 until October 20th, 2012 without a drink. I just got out of the Navy after 10 years and things have been hard.
I will start back at last October whe I started again. I was on an unaccompanied tour for a year in Greece. It was stressful doing my job and being without my wife and kids. Long story short, I cracked and started drinking. While I was in Greece I was of course hiding this from my wife. Then in April of this year, I came home thinking "you quit it before, you'll quit it again". Well, that didn't work. I have been sneaking and hiding my drinking and now it's out of control.
My wife took my kids and left yesterday morning. She isn't good at dealing with me. She is pretty much of the belief that since I quit before, I can just do it again. I feel like I have just wrecked everything. I don't even know what my next step is.
I will start back at last October whe I started again. I was on an unaccompanied tour for a year in Greece. It was stressful doing my job and being without my wife and kids. Long story short, I cracked and started drinking. While I was in Greece I was of course hiding this from my wife. Then in April of this year, I came home thinking "you quit it before, you'll quit it again". Well, that didn't work. I have been sneaking and hiding my drinking and now it's out of control.
My wife took my kids and left yesterday morning. She isn't good at dealing with me. She is pretty much of the belief that since I quit before, I can just do it again. I feel like I have just wrecked everything. I don't even know what my next step is.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Edwardsville, IL
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by Thepatman 
Welcome to SR! Glad you found us!
What makes you think you cannot do this again? What method did you use the first time?
What makes you think you cannot do this again? What method did you use the first time?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Maybe you can try to give AA another shot? There are other options also AVRT, SMART recovery etc.
The important thing is that you are here seeking help. There are many here with a lot more experience with sobriety than me and will be able to help you also.
Hope
The important thing is that you are here seeking help. There are many here with a lot more experience with sobriety than me and will be able to help you also.
Hope
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR.
Your wife doesn't really have to understand your difficulty, but you do. In a follow up post you said you quit before using just will power. But since resuming drinking your alcoholism has progress beyond "Just quit drinking."
You might reconsider AA or some other form of recovery and support.
So your first step should be recovery and sobriety. Once you can demonstrate that, you can figure out the situation with you wife and children.
Originally Posted by Seabee
She isn't good at dealing with me. She is pretty much of the belief that since I quit before, I can just do it again. I feel like I have just wrecked everything. I don't even know what my next step is.
You might reconsider AA or some other form of recovery and support.
So your first step should be recovery and sobriety. Once you can demonstrate that, you can figure out the situation with you wife and children.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Edwardsville, IL
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
Welcome to SR.
Your wife doesn't really have to understand your difficulty, but you do. In a follow up post you said you quit before using just will power. But since resuming drinking your alcoholism has progress beyond "Just quit drinking."
You might reconsider AA or some other form of recovery and support.
So your first step should be recovery and sobriety. Once you can demonstrate that, you can figure out the situation with you wife and children.
Your wife doesn't really have to understand your difficulty, but you do. In a follow up post you said you quit before using just will power. But since resuming drinking your alcoholism has progress beyond "Just quit drinking."
You might reconsider AA or some other form of recovery and support.
So your first step should be recovery and sobriety. Once you can demonstrate that, you can figure out the situation with you wife and children.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
I know the overwhelming feeling you have. But for me drinking was only adding to the pile
of issues I had to work on.
I'm still working hard, I'm 15 days in myself. Already the cloud has lifted a bit. I'm able to see each issue individually instead of a mountain like I used to
.
of issues I had to work on.
I'm still working hard, I'm 15 days in myself. Already the cloud has lifted a bit. I'm able to see each issue individually instead of a mountain like I used to
.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome, Seabee! Your wife can't understand what you're going through, but you have to try to understand what she's going through. One thing that keeps me from drinking is the fear that if I do start again I won't be able to stop.
I use AVRT. Maybe it would help you. If not, try AA. There's tools out there for folks that need to quit.
I wish you well, and best of luck. SR is a great support system. I know you can succeed.
I use AVRT. Maybe it would help you. If not, try AA. There's tools out there for folks that need to quit.
I wish you well, and best of luck. SR is a great support system. I know you can succeed.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
I'm really glad you found us seabee. You can definitely get sober again and stay that way. I think being here & talking about it will help. We all understand what you're going through.
You will feel better and less anxious once you get some sober time behind you. Everything will improve when you're clear headed and positive again. We are with you.
You will feel better and less anxious once you get some sober time behind you. Everything will improve when you're clear headed and positive again. We are with you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 553
Hi- Glad you are here! What are you going to try differently this time? When I relapsed I realized I wasn't doing something that I need to be doing. I asked myself "what is missing?"
It was lack of meetings, no praying, trying to control everything that I have no control over, and not talking to my sponsor. I stepped it up big time and now spend hours a day to keep my sobriety. Necessary right now as it's my life.
It was lack of meetings, no praying, trying to control everything that I have no control over, and not talking to my sponsor. I stepped it up big time and now spend hours a day to keep my sobriety. Necessary right now as it's my life.
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