Time2Focus

It's been a while since I've posted up on SR. I thought I was doing ok for a short period of time with my drinking, but the truth is, I was just lying to myself. There were times where I would go a day or two without a drink, but those were few and far in between and it was torture - all I could think about was having a few drinks. Now I'm back to drinking 4-5 drinks a night after work to get a good buzz. On the weekends, I usually start drinking around noon and continue throughout the day into the night, often hiding liquor around the house so I can take swigs in between beers - that way nobody truly sees how much I've been drinking. I don't get blackout drunk, but I'm definitely abusing alcohol and I'm so tired of waking up at 3am with a foggy head and not being able to get back to sleep for hours. I'm tired of getting up the next day with no energy and hitting the bottle of ibuprofen in order to kill a headache. I'm tired of the guilt, the clouded mind, the lack of motivation at work and at home, I'm tired of... well.. I'm just tired.

I've said I was going to hang it up before, but I've been unsuccessful. I guess that is why I've taken so long to post back up on SR - I'm just ashamed of my lack of commitment to staying sober. I have a wonderful wife and child, we both have good jobs and I'm being considered for a promotion soon. Why would I put any of this in jeopardy by drinking??

Today, I can say I have taken a step forward in trying to get ahold of this problem that I have. I have been seeing a psychiatrist and I've been honest about my drinking habits. She is working with me with other problems, such as depression, anxiety, etc. She referred me to a substance abuse counselor for an initial assessment - all I had to do was make that phone call. A few weeks have gone by as I held on to that phone number. I called today to set up that appointment. I feel like it would be beneficial to go to a meeting tonight also, but I'm very nervous about that.

Seabee

You put it in Jeopardy because if you are like me, you are powerlees when it comes to alcohol. I know I am and it is easy to forget. It is also easy to lie to yourself. I have been doing it a lot lately.

IOAA2

Hi. I and a lot of others felt like you do and when we stopped drinking and stayed many of our "problems" were reduce considerably. I needed to be honest with myself about MY drinking and take positive actions like going to many meetings if I wanted to or not. It takes time to get better but we will if we work at out problem.

BE WELL

Time2Focus

I'm going to try my best to make it to a meeting tonight I've picked out that isn't far from my house. Like I said, I'm nervous.. but I'm sure that is how most everyone felt when they first went too.

Seabee

You will will be welcomed and feel comfort there. The only ones who understand us are other alcoholics.

Inca

Hi- Did you go to the meeting? That's a great first step to getting on track. Lots of support and uplifting encouragement for sure.

instant

Good luck with your journey- it's a learning game. I foudn he support of SR every day invaluable to help stick with it