mistyks

six months in after 22 years of alcoholism and I am more miserable than ever. can someone say something please

SlickRick07

Focusing on the positives is what helps me. 6 months is a big accomplishment. What else is making you miserable?

Dee74

Hi and welcome mistyks

What else have you done besides not drinking? have you made any other changes at all?

D

DaughterNeedsMe

Don't give up Misty. I truly look up to people like you who have the strength, the willpower to push so hard and make it so far.
Congratulations on 6 months. I cannot wait until I'm able to make it 6 months!

Suekie

Congrats on 6 months!

You must feel better physically? Get better sleep? There has to be positives!

malcolmsloan

6 months is awesome! That takes significant work and dedication. I agee with Dee and Suekie, there must be some postivies, in some fashion or another, even if times are tough right now, 6 months of sobriety must have some positive impacts.

Skye2

6 months is phenomenal and if you're gonna feel like any kind of poop - then horses are the ones to go for
Trying hard to stay awake here - on nights in a nursing home and it's 4.20am - the witching hour looms - did you know most people snuff it at 5am? No idea why.

Threshold

Well....the truth is that some people who never had a drinking problem have days, or periods where they feel like horse poop too.

Just saying it's not a sign that sobriety is failing or anything, or that you should return to drinking.

Lots of people get the gloomies during this time of year, the short dark days do a number on energy and moods.

You're doing awesome, 6 months! I've been having those horse poop days too...telling myself it's all going to fertilize flowers come Spring.

Skye2

Threshold - your avatar is the image of my bunnie Barney

Imabuleva

Do you have any physical symptoms? Because I just went to the ER for alcohol withdrawal and alcoholic gastritis. This is hell and I never want to feel like this again.

neferkamichael

Mistyks, you are FANTASTIC, congratulations. Rootin for ya.

Itchy

Imagine if you take that feeling, and drink then add that fail to your present feeling. Instead of feeling sorry I would ask you what you are doing other than internalizing your blues. Have you seen a doc about depression? Gotten in any local face to face support like group counseling, one on one, or if funds are lacking AA?

It took me a long time past six months to really feel internally different. It wasn't until two years sober that I saw how little I was working to where I wanted to be. Alcohol created the delusion of excitement, without my having to actually know or do anything past sitting down on my butt and drinking.

We all know and have been there. Feeling itself is good. If we could not feel pain, we wouldn't pull our hands out of the fire. If you can't pull them out yourself, get some help here and locally.

Mountainmanbob

when recovering alcoholics are thinking and feeling like this
one thing for sure
adding a drink to the condition will only worsen the condition

best to keep fighting the good fight

Mountainman

Roadr440

Hello Mistyks, WTG on 6 months!!!

It all takes time. I didn't believe in the beginning and it all sounded simplistic when everyone told me it would eventually get better, But IT DID. I gradually lost the obsessions with alcohol and am free to focus on better, much more worthwhile things in my life. That is priceless....

mistyks

I truly thank you all for the encouragement. I have not missed work or been late like I use to. Although just for the heck of it I called out one day and I had no remorse. I paid all my debt off. I have better control of my finances and retirement. I bought myself a 'therapy car'. It sure is nice to drive after a stressful work day. I've been intermittent about exercise but want to be consistent. I have been a much better mom to my 12 year old son. I did go to a girls night out promised my son I would not drink and didn't. When I got home he said let me check your breath. He was very proud and I was happy I didn't let him down. I feel like the root of a lot of my unhappiness is my career. But until I find something comfortable salary wise I have to stay where I am. I don't wake up feeling paranoid about who I may have drunk dialed. I hosted a fall party at my house while my old party friends drank I enjoyed coffee and saw how goofy they get when they drink. Its nice to wake up the next morning and be able to clean up the house. Not to get all philosophical but I will I am a paramedic. I did some inward reflection recently and learned I have been a paramedic since I was little. My dads alcoholism, sweeping in to protect the family at 5 years old, always trying to put fires out. I feel like I'm living in the past a lot when Im on shift. I don't want to do that anymore. My whole life has been chaos and my career path allowed me to remain in chaos just I have better control of scenes these days. But I'm ready to move on to something I'm not use to. I bring my work home, evidently I run calls in my sleep, when I have added stress I'm short fused at home. I am a perfectionist at my job when anything is not perfect I hold on to it and in turn it affects all corners of life. sorry for ranting.

ChrissieB

Apparently it is common for children of alcoholics to go into a caring profession, and it is also common for alcoholics to be perfectionists. What I have learnt so far is that drinking is a symptom of the problem and when we put the drink down we still have a problem which is generally a life problem. I attend AA and have recently gone through the steps and am trying my best to live my life in the last 3 steps.
I feel so much better and so positive, AA is working for me, perhaps it is something you could try.... Feeling like horse poop can't be too nice. wishing you well x
Loving Sober Recovery as well, it is a fabulous site whether I am reading or contributing my 2 pennies/cents.

Fandy

Have you thought about going back to school?
a good PA program?
or do you want a different profession?
congrats on your 6 months

BalinChane

I totally agree, this time of year can be tough, especially if you just quit drinking. SERENITY NOW!!! Happy Festivus everyone!

Happy-Festivus.jpg

deeker

Recovery is an inside job. Complete examination of thoughts and behaviors. Our thinking seems to be the problem. Are you doing AA?

Putting down the drink or drug is just the beginning. I had to get into the 12 steps. To see why I was my own worst enemy.

Hawkeye13

Yes, I understand where you're coming from here.
I think after my first six months / year I was feeling
"Is this flat nothing the best it is going to be?"

But it does get better and you heal and learn to feel again.
I'm still much "flatter" emotionally than I used to be, but like you
I am the child of a raging dramatic alcoholic so trauma and rescuing
were my norm too. Just having peace in my home instead of drama
from myself (when drinking) or someone else feels / felt strange.

Now I love it. I get up at 5 to see the sun come up, build a fire in winter,
make coffee for me, tea for husband, and just relax in silence and peace.
Your son will get to live that life too now that you've stopped, and that
is a wonderful gift that neither you nor I had. Imagine how that will
change his future and the way he relates to other people and his understanding
of what "normal" is.

Keep going, keep not drinking, and you will find what you are looking for in the end.
If your career no longer "matches" who you are inside, do think about returning
to school part time or on-line to try something else.

Happy Holidays and great job on your six months