Requesting your advice on what I should do from here. Thanks
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1
Requesting your advice on what I should do from here. Thanks
Hey everyone,
So I apologize in advance as this will be quite a long thread. I aim to first introduce myself, explain my current situation and how I came to be here, then finish off by asking your opinions on what steps I should take next.
Having grown up in Spain, where drinking and smoking laws and prices are much more relaxed than in the rest of the world, I began experimenting with alcohol and cigarettes at 14. Putting smoking aside (I'm now hooked, unfortunately), I've always been very modest with my alcohol intake. I only ever got completely smashed six or seven times in a multi-year period and would never drink too often.
I'm now 21 and in university in the UK. As you may or may not know, there is a binge-drinking culture here where students always get completely wrecked on a weekly basis and go out clubbing. I've been doing this for about two years now and I'm starting to question my behaviour... The reason for my doubting my choices is not the health or the money (although those are slightly worrying) but my actual behaviour when I am drunk.
A side-note about health. Despite drinking regularly, I somehow don't feel the effects. I barely ever get hangovers and I'm in good physical condition. Despite having been drinking for so long I can go through extended periods of time (weeks/months) where I don't touch a drop of alcohol and I do not feel any withdrawal or craving whatsoever. One thing I have noticed though is that my thinking process is getting slower and it's getting harder to memorise university-related topics.
This brings me to my first two questions:
1) How would I know if I actually had an alcohol dependence? Would it be similar to cravings for cigarettes, or even worse? Could you describe your addiction (if you have one) or your relationship with alcohol (if you drink a lot)?
2) Is there a direct correlation between drinking and deteriorating brain function? Is it possible to recover from this?
Back on topic, the main reason for my questioning my choices is my behaviour when I'm drunk. Recently I've been blacking out quite a lot and when I lose my inhibitions and something bad happens I get very, very angry and go on a rampage, destroying anything in my path. Sometimes I even have emotional breakdowns. Over the past few weeks it has gotten worse and I've damaged public property and gotten into fights with other people. This kind of behaviour is unacceptable and is completely and totally the opposite of who I am and the values I hold dear... Thinking back on it now, every single horrible thing I've ever done in my life has been when I was wasted.
One of the scariest revelations I've had lies in the difference between alcohol and other substances. Over the past couple of years I've been experimenting with other drugs (such as marijuana/cannabis, cocaine, ecstasy, ketamine, etc...) and I've always managed to control my behaviour whilst under the influence of these substances. On multiple occasions when I've been high, I've been in situations where I could have reacted very badly to certain things, but always knew where to draw the line and (despite being high) have always been able to control my behaviour in order to achieve a positive and non-destructive outcome. With alcohol however, when bad things happen it's like I can't control myself and I turn into what could quite literally be described as a monster. I realize the strong addictive potential of some of these substances (which is why I use them with caution and strictly on an occasional basis) but how can it be that, in a party atmosphere, both myself and everyone around me always ends up having a much better time with substances deemed illegal by the authorities, rather than with legally-available alcohol?
Is it maybe time to call it and stop drinking all-together? I don't have an issue with having a beer or a glass of wine every now and again, but sometimes it's hard to resist the pressure of all your peers edging you on to drink more with them. More importantly, if I go out at night I feel out of place when everyone is drunk and I'm sober.
I really don't know what to do and would appreciate any advice you guys could offer. Have you ever been in a similar situation?
Thank you
So I apologize in advance as this will be quite a long thread. I aim to first introduce myself, explain my current situation and how I came to be here, then finish off by asking your opinions on what steps I should take next.
Having grown up in Spain, where drinking and smoking laws and prices are much more relaxed than in the rest of the world, I began experimenting with alcohol and cigarettes at 14. Putting smoking aside (I'm now hooked, unfortunately), I've always been very modest with my alcohol intake. I only ever got completely smashed six or seven times in a multi-year period and would never drink too often.
I'm now 21 and in university in the UK. As you may or may not know, there is a binge-drinking culture here where students always get completely wrecked on a weekly basis and go out clubbing. I've been doing this for about two years now and I'm starting to question my behaviour... The reason for my doubting my choices is not the health or the money (although those are slightly worrying) but my actual behaviour when I am drunk.
A side-note about health. Despite drinking regularly, I somehow don't feel the effects. I barely ever get hangovers and I'm in good physical condition. Despite having been drinking for so long I can go through extended periods of time (weeks/months) where I don't touch a drop of alcohol and I do not feel any withdrawal or craving whatsoever. One thing I have noticed though is that my thinking process is getting slower and it's getting harder to memorise university-related topics.
This brings me to my first two questions:
1) How would I know if I actually had an alcohol dependence? Would it be similar to cravings for cigarettes, or even worse? Could you describe your addiction (if you have one) or your relationship with alcohol (if you drink a lot)?
2) Is there a direct correlation between drinking and deteriorating brain function? Is it possible to recover from this?
Back on topic, the main reason for my questioning my choices is my behaviour when I'm drunk. Recently I've been blacking out quite a lot and when I lose my inhibitions and something bad happens I get very, very angry and go on a rampage, destroying anything in my path. Sometimes I even have emotional breakdowns. Over the past few weeks it has gotten worse and I've damaged public property and gotten into fights with other people. This kind of behaviour is unacceptable and is completely and totally the opposite of who I am and the values I hold dear... Thinking back on it now, every single horrible thing I've ever done in my life has been when I was wasted.
One of the scariest revelations I've had lies in the difference between alcohol and other substances. Over the past couple of years I've been experimenting with other drugs (such as marijuana/cannabis, cocaine, ecstasy, ketamine, etc...) and I've always managed to control my behaviour whilst under the influence of these substances. On multiple occasions when I've been high, I've been in situations where I could have reacted very badly to certain things, but always knew where to draw the line and (despite being high) have always been able to control my behaviour in order to achieve a positive and non-destructive outcome. With alcohol however, when bad things happen it's like I can't control myself and I turn into what could quite literally be described as a monster. I realize the strong addictive potential of some of these substances (which is why I use them with caution and strictly on an occasional basis) but how can it be that, in a party atmosphere, both myself and everyone around me always ends up having a much better time with substances deemed illegal by the authorities, rather than with legally-available alcohol?
Is it maybe time to call it and stop drinking all-together? I don't have an issue with having a beer or a glass of wine every now and again, but sometimes it's hard to resist the pressure of all your peers edging you on to drink more with them. More importantly, if I go out at night I feel out of place when everyone is drunk and I'm sober.
I really don't know what to do and would appreciate any advice you guys could offer. Have you ever been in a similar situation?
Thank you
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 426
Welcome zen! I can only offer my story. I drank a lot in college like most of the people i hung out with. I did some really crazy stupid things and blacked out many times. Through the years since those days i have continued to drink mostly on the weekends but for awhile weekends would get longer and longer. A couple of years ago i quit drinking because i felt that it was affecting me badly. After about a year i figured i was ok to drink in moderation. I was ok for awhile but slowly got back into old habits.
I think about drinking all the time . . .always thinking about when i can have time for a few drinks. It became somewhat of an obsession. What i am getting at is it didnt happen overnight. It progressed. I decided that it had to stop. I dont want this to run my life.
If you are at a point where drinking is negatively affecting your life then maybe you should think about quitting. There is a lot of support here if you'd like to give it a try! Good luck to you!
I think about drinking all the time . . .always thinking about when i can have time for a few drinks. It became somewhat of an obsession. What i am getting at is it didnt happen overnight. It progressed. I decided that it had to stop. I dont want this to run my life.
If you are at a point where drinking is negatively affecting your life then maybe you should think about quitting. There is a lot of support here if you'd like to give it a try! Good luck to you!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Southern Oregon U.S.
Posts: 1,023
Try sober buddy. People act like drinking and drugging is hard and cool when thinking for yourself, being sober, and facing your fears is actually where it's at. Your brain will work better and you will do better in school. It has all kinds of benefits really.
-Ted
-Ted
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hey ZenGarden, I know where you are coming from, I come from Ireland, but studyed in England for a bit, the drinking culture at university is quite a ride, so many lost weekends and hangovers, but at a time when the body bounces back alot quicker.
I reached age 30 this year but had continued to drink at that pace since my studying days, and you quickly learn the body has limits as to how many years of abuse it can take.
I think you need to look at it and figure out if it is a dependence in light of the basic definition of the word, do you NEED to have alcohol/substances every weekend?
In relation to your 2nd question, the body is a wonderful instrument, it can repair itself, though again there are limits, and only a doctor can fully diagnose any permanent damage.
I reached age 30 this year but had continued to drink at that pace since my studying days, and you quickly learn the body has limits as to how many years of abuse it can take.
I think you need to look at it and figure out if it is a dependence in light of the basic definition of the word, do you NEED to have alcohol/substances every weekend?
In relation to your 2nd question, the body is a wonderful instrument, it can repair itself, though again there are limits, and only a doctor can fully diagnose any permanent damage.
to SR! You'll find lots of support here. 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 638
Originally Posted by ZenGarden 
1) How would I know if I actually had an alcohol dependence? Would it be similar to cravings for cigarettes, or even worse? Could you describe your addiction (if you have one) or your relationship with alcohol (if you drink a lot)?
2) Is there a direct correlation between drinking and deteriorating brain function? Is it possible to recover from this?
2) Is there a direct correlation between drinking and deteriorating brain function? Is it possible to recover from this?
1) In my experience the addiction to alcohol came very subtle. I didn't realize or admit I was addicted even after years of it clearly causing destruction and being a problem. I know for sure that I was already addicted to it from a very early time, when I thought I didn't really have hangovers and thought I could never become addicted to it...
Maybe a good test to see if you're addicted to it is asking yourself whether you feel you can take it or leave it? Is alcohol just another thing that you can take or leave? Or is there something in your mind that longs for it? Do you somehow look forward to drinking? Do you think about drinking during the week? I think addiction can be very subtle and surprising and that's why I'd recommend quitting the use in any case.
2) Yes. Lots of scientific data to support that. The positive side is there is also lots of scientific data to show that the brain has great powers of recovery.
I can relate to the school-drinking-culture-thing and that peer pressure. Thanks to the weekend drinking I dropped out of school and wrecked some havoc in my own and lives of others. I thought I was so cool. As someone said: the real challenge is living life sober. That's where the power is at. Anyone can lift a bottle and drink. Not that many can face life sober. So I totally recommend living a sober life.
That one thing about being the very reverse person of what you really value, when drunk is something that alcohol does. Good luck in whatever you decide.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Regardless of how often you drink or how often you can go without, it sounds like when you do it can become a problem. So yes, I would support efforts to quit it all together, then you'll mitigate any future issues with blacking out, raging, etc.
To answer your questions, it's hard to say what qualifies as dependence. Sometimes that's very clear, other times and more often it's not. Go 6 months without, that might answer your question. If you find yourself uncomfortable with that idea, there might be an answer there too.
Regarding brain function changes, alcohol (and other drugs) can absolutely cause damage. Sometimes it's reversible, sometimes it's not. It really depends on the severity. Luckily, it's preventable.
Probably not what you want to hear, but that's my take on it
To answer your questions, it's hard to say what qualifies as dependence. Sometimes that's very clear, other times and more often it's not. Go 6 months without, that might answer your question. If you find yourself uncomfortable with that idea, there might be an answer there too.
Regarding brain function changes, alcohol (and other drugs) can absolutely cause damage. Sometimes it's reversible, sometimes it's not. It really depends on the severity. Luckily, it's preventable.
Probably not what you want to hear, but that's my take on it
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Hi Zen. There are different stages of alcoholism and many different patterns. All I can say is, if you worry you may have a problem, then perhaps you do. I knew I had a problem early on but put it to the back of my mind. I wish I had acted on it back then. I started as a party girl, then drank almost every night. Eventually the hangovers got bad (it amazes me how some don't have them, I used to be jealous.) So I started having hairs of the dog which could, in turn, be the start of an all day marathon. Morning drinking was obviously a problem that I worried about, so you could say the hangovers eventually cured me. I managed to stop for fairly long periods and changed my tact to binge drinking, especially if things became tough. My benders could last for days and I almost lost my kids. This went on and off for nearly twenty years, until one day my little girl begged me not to drink any more and said I wasn't pretty any more. I suppose the mixture of my daughter's innocent pleas (which made me feel as guilty as you can get) and my own vanity, sort of clicked and I had a found an epiphany. It took a few years of mental struggle to stay off the stuff but I managed it. I have been sober for ten years and it's a breeze. The medical thing you mention was ok with me. I was lucky in as much as I was a lightweight. I could never manage even half a bottle of spirits without passing out because I am very small. Perhaps this accounts for having very little liver damage, as well as allowing it to heal to a degree, in between binges. Withdrawal was horrific and I am definitely never going there again. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 73
Hi there,
As is commonly said, alcohol dependancy is progressive. It may start as a weekly thing then progress from there to where I have been recently having 3-4 bottles of spirits a week, every other day and for some it goes beyond that to drinking daily.
The question to ask is: Is alcohol causing damage, harm and issues with your life that an alcohol free life would change?
You dont need to be drinking everyday, in fact many may say it isn;t how much you drink but HOW you drink. If alcohol is causing harm in anyway then there may well be problems there to address and an abstinent life may be the necessary step.
It sounds like alcohol is having a detrimental effect on your life, so whether you call yourself an alcoholic, binge drinker, problem drinker or partier, then you need to ask yourself if this is right. Is it helpful and will my life be better without alcohol than with it.
Good luck to you. These people are great
As is commonly said, alcohol dependancy is progressive. It may start as a weekly thing then progress from there to where I have been recently having 3-4 bottles of spirits a week, every other day and for some it goes beyond that to drinking daily.
The question to ask is: Is alcohol causing damage, harm and issues with your life that an alcohol free life would change?
You dont need to be drinking everyday, in fact many may say it isn;t how much you drink but HOW you drink. If alcohol is causing harm in anyway then there may well be problems there to address and an abstinent life may be the necessary step.
It sounds like alcohol is having a detrimental effect on your life, so whether you call yourself an alcoholic, binge drinker, problem drinker or partier, then you need to ask yourself if this is right. Is it helpful and will my life be better without alcohol than with it.
Good luck to you. These people are great
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