Mountainmanbob

last time I got a DUI (second within 10 years Calif)
lost my license for around 18 months
rode a motorized bicycle around town
not easy getting down off this mountain
it's a tough lesson
but
if (we) get another DUI the consequences will be much worse
that is the main thing to remember
I have seen many sent to jail or prison for this (second, third or forth offence) gone

MM

MIRecovery

Welcome and it is wonderful that you are reaching out for help.

I am NOT being mean but a question needs to. be asked. It is obvious the drugs cause problems in your life. The question is do you have a problem with drugs? if you do there is a ton of help and support on the site but that is a question only you can answer.

under any circumstances it's not the end of the world and life will get better as long as you stay clean and sober

cleaninLI

Jttm I'm so sorry this happened to you! (((Hugs))) I know it's tough not driving. During the hight of my addiction to painkillers I became broke. I stopped paying my car insurance but continued driving the car anyway. I know stupid me! I was ticketed and my liscense suspended. Did it stop me from driving? Nope! Yeah, double stupid! Anyway I was arrested and thrown in jail until I could pay bail. It was over 1 year before I could go to court and pay off all my fines and reinstate my liscense. It was really tough getting to work and all the places I needed to go without driving. My younest kids are 8 and 11. I spent tons on taxis and waited hours for public buses. I live in an area where public transportation is almost nonexistent.

When I finally realized I needed help for my addiction I joined an IOP. There was a lady in my groups that was in the exact situation as you. DUI for perscription meds, Xanax and ambien. Did they mandate you to a program? Does your lawyer know how long you will be unable to drive? Did he mention getting a restricted liscense? One that you can use to drive to nessesary places such as work or school or groups etc.. Check and see if you are ellegibal for one of those.

Hopefully, it won't be too long and you will get your liscense back. In the meantime think really hard if there is a way that you can better yourself. Do you have a problem with these meds or not. Only you can answer that question. This is for you to answer and change not for me or others to judge you. Obviously, these nasty neighbors are not worth your time from now on! Don't worry, what goes around comes around!

Hugs and prayers going out to you!

JTTM

Ok.. Last question (Lie)... I plead guilty because If didn't the waiting period for bench or trial was going to 18 months. Well 18 months with no license versus 2 and I had NO chance of not being guilty. I'm only 2 months into my 2 year license suspension with the possibility of a hardship with a breath interlock device.

Anyone else have a IID?

ReadyAtLast

I agree with this.

Whilst you are naturally devastated you've lost your license it appears to be your only concern. Is losing your license a result of drug abuse? Are you looking to address this?

It isn't clear if you are looking for help and support in getting clean? If you get clean and sober this will never happen again.

deeker

I just got my license back this last year after 7 yrs.

It went by really fast in hindsight.

Can you apply for a hardship license? Here in the US we can get a hardship license for shopping and going to and from work.

chaili05

Is that similar to a restricted? I'll be getting my restricted license next month (fingers crossed).

JTTM- I know of people who have had to IID,... it really wasn't that big of a deal. To my understanding the only people who would realistically know are your children as you are driving with them- but that's it... it's not as if you are having to blow into a breathalyzer in front of the whole neighborhood sitting on the street.
Also, I'm curious as others have asked... do you feel you need any assistance to manage substance abuse? Are you mandated by court? I have to take a class for 9 months.

deeker

I believe so Chaili05

JTTM

The drugs were prescriptions for depression and anxiety which I'm off of. I do still drink alchohol and NEED to stop. I can't seem to, I've been going to meetings, I've been trying but yet, I still lose it from time to time. Not to the point of drunk. I just go 30 days and then ... need a drink.

I am doing counseling for 6 months into it for 2 so far. Then, I am mandated to be hospitalized for 14 days-starts Jan. 5th. It was either that or jail. So with a 13 and 10 year old.

To answer, I need help that I can do this.. there is no choice and living in the middle of no-where getting to meetings, kids, work, I have had to find ways to work from home, it's been hard.

This was shear stupidness and it's just a whole mess up but, one that happened and I have to be responsible for it. There was a SLIM chance on lawyer could have got me off but, the time 18+ months, money, etc... it wasn't worth it. It's a misdermeanor not a felony and a midsdemeanor DUI In my field of sales and marketing shouldn't hurt my job chances.

I'm just struggling with when do you feel better in sobriety?

JTTM

Everyone is being very helpful. I am off of drugs and have been sober BUT have slipped time and again. We are talking a 1/2 wine, beer, etc... but it does start the craving....

heathersweeds

I have never been the favorite mom lol, I was an isolator when I drank. I still fight this today and my last drink was March 27th 2010. That was my last DUI also. I was threatened to have my son Jeremie taken from me. Not to be put in foster care either. Jeremie is autistic and would have been sent to an institution. (Jail, institutions, or death) For me, once the state got all their paperwork together, I was too busy going to out patient program, required AA meetings, community service (loss of freedom) to worry about what anyone else thought of me. Childrens services came to my home weekly, I had a probation officer, and I worked. BUT, this is all over now, What a VERY SMALL price I had to pay for jeopardizing other people's lives. I could have killed my own child in that car. I got sober in the beginning for Jeremie, I felt like you do now. In doing all that run around work I discovered that I had to start doing something different. Run my life a new way. Sober. I am in AA and took on the recovery work that goes with. I have a great group of friends in this program that support me when things get tough. I thought at first because I got sober, nothing bad would happen lol I actually thought this. Meetings are where I hear different ways of coping. This is only my story. There are so many different ways to recover. But please, whatever you do pick one and work it!! You can come out on the other side, wipe your brow, and go on with your life. My life is my own again not controlled by my consequences. Please private message me if you have ANY questions!!

chaili05

The first couple things that struck out to me in this paragraph are your word choices. You are saying that you "need" to stop yet "cant." -- You are telling yourself you do not have the ability to stay sober. If I constantly told myself that I do not have the ability or power to maintain sobriety, yeah, I would probably keep drinking.
A suggestion could be to change those words that you tell yourself- it's difficult, but when you tell yourself you can't quit what you're really saying is that you need to stop but are unwilling to do so.
After 30 days of sobriety, it seems that your body no longer "needs" the drink, yet perhaps you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or something so you choose to drink... (again, the exchange of words).
What's important to acknowledge is that the choice of words you use with yourself is important, because what helps for me is empowering myself. Even slight differences such as "I need to stop" can be exchanged for "I'm choosing to stop"- there I'm empowering myself and it's MY choice. Nobody elses.

Sorry, I hope my rambling made some sense.

JTTM

It does, thank you for taking the time

phoebe64

I live quite close to where you do, and I can say confidently that it must be extremely hard to have 2 kids and not be able to drive there. My town is similar, with no public buses or taxis to call on a moments notice. We do have trains to get into the city, but no transport around the towns in this area.

I can also guess that the gossip is very difficult. I have never had a DUI, but I am sure if I did it would be discussed. Do you have any network of friends who can help you with rides? Anyone you can confide in, and share that you are trying to recover after a bad time?

That same gossip-y environment it what has me timid to try AA meetings. I know som epeople would talk if I were seen at one. I know, because I know my own brother in law has shared who he bumps into at meetings. he is not in my area, but it speaks to the fact that it is not truly anonymous.

You will find a lot of support here for trying to live a sober life. I hope you can find help to get through the driving restrictions.

JTTM

Thank you- I'd love to private message

JTTM

There is no doubt that Anymous is NOT Anymous. I have already had a lot of issues with people sharing that I've been there. However, I'm fine with that part! If they are there they are there for the same reason.

phoebe64

I am here. You can PM me if you like.

Anna

Welcome, and I'm sorry for your situation.

I understand how being unable to drive is a nuisance. However, I hope that you shift your focus to being sober from drugs and alcohol. Living a sober life will require a lot of energy and you will need to shift your focus away from the driving issue, to how to begin recovery. We are here to support you living your life free from drugs and alcohol.

chaili05

I agree. Since I got my DUI... It's been a long road ( well actually just 2.5 months) to shift my view from just dealing with the driving to dealing with ME. That shift has actually really helped the legal stuff to be viewed as simply being a catalyst to taking care of myself.

Weaver

Be well