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It's almost easier after a bad day...

Old 11-25-2013, 03:40 PM
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It's almost easier after a bad day...

I had another good day today. Had plenty of energy, was productive at work and kept my mind right in regards to some issues I have with someone there. This was painful when I didn't think about things, and it will come to conversation which will not be pleasant. But I am solid in my thoughts on the subject.

All the way on my drive home my AV was speaking to me, kindly.

"See, it's ok man, have some beer tonight. Just don't drink too much, be sure to eat and goto the gym tomorrow"

"You figured out how to be now man, have some beer and think about what you have learned"

"Excellent day! Go home and plan your next great day with some beer, you got this! Good for you, I knew you could do it!"

"You had a good day today, tomorrow is gonna suck because of how you pulled yourself away from X... better have some beer and think about it"

"You're stupid, have some beer and stop beatin yourself up over it man! Have some fun! You worked hard today and did good!"

.............

ALMOST caved. I swear I would cut this part of my brain out with a dull spoon if I could figure out which piece it is. I just finished dinner and am off to walk on a treadmill at the gym. There are nice sober people there who don't know my struggles, or care. None of them have a key to my heart either.

I wouldn't be on day 7 without this site, thank you folks!!!!!
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Old 11-25-2013, 03:48 PM
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Gooooooo mikie!!! Great job! Don't try the spoon trick
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Old 11-25-2013, 03:54 PM
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One day at a time brother. You're getting there. It gets easier.
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Old 11-25-2013, 04:04 PM
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I had those thoughts too Mikie. I'm glad you triumphed & got over that hurdle. Proud of you!! Veryready's right - it gets easier. You're doing this thing!
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Old 11-25-2013, 04:23 PM
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It sounds like you had a good day.
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Old 11-25-2013, 04:34 PM
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great for you .. I am glad to hear you did not cave, go run the treadmill I need to tackle my stair walker :/
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Old 11-25-2013, 04:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Mikie9 View Post
I swear I would cut this part of my brain out with a dull spoon if I could figure out which piece it is.
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Old 11-25-2013, 05:01 PM
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Old 11-25-2013, 05:32 PM
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Glad you stayed sober. It does get easier with time. That voice grows dimmer every time you ignore it. After a while you won't hear it at all.
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Old 11-25-2013, 05:36 PM
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Thanks for the support. It was not an easy day but I guess that is life coming out of drinking my life away, or maybe just life in general, I have no clue yet lol. I think now after burning off some energy and being around people that I don't work with I see now why the AV was so strong.

It was a HARD day. I had to fight my mind all day. Not with everything, I did make some serious changes in how I view work and myself, and I looked for other people than the ones who cause me bad thoughts. But OMG... the emotional BS I had to deal with... it isn't anyone's fault but my own, but it is hard because having to deal with it sober and seeing things clearly and having to face what has changed... AV is speaking to me, but I would rather suffer now, than for the rest of my life. Hand me that dull spoon!

It is me, I have changed. No one else has, and that isn't their problem. The hard part is not making it my problem

Thanks again for letting me come here and ramble, it is the difference in the previous failed attempts. I think after work, my pink cloud popped into the past.
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Old 11-25-2013, 07:28 PM
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Thank you so much for this. I'm on the same time-frame as you & my AV was having virtually the same convo with me today. I told mine to go "f" herself & imagined her slinking back under whatever slime-covered rock she emerged from (she looks like Randall from Monsters, Inc. btw - ever the slinky, smarmy chameleon). It worked for today which is all we need it to do, right? Tomorrow is another day but I'd say we kicked this one in the bootie!!!

Have a good night!
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Old 11-25-2013, 08:25 PM
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I hear you with the dull spoon analogy, Mikie9. I have had many such similar thoughts. Good for you for working through it. Stay strong.
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Old 11-25-2013, 10:27 PM
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Great post! Congrats on staying strong
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Old 11-25-2013, 10:41 PM
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Well done
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Old 11-25-2013, 10:50 PM
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Good job!!!

(Being new here.. have a silly question but what does AV mean? I looked in the acronyms and it wasn't listed?)
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Old 11-25-2013, 11:38 PM
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Hi suekie it stands for addictive voice. If you google AVRT there is a free short tutorial about AVRT. I use the thought process quite often. Good luck
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Old 11-26-2013, 01:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Mikie9 View Post
Thanks again for letting me come here and ramble, it is the difference in the previous failed attempts. I think after work, my pink cloud popped into the past.
Ramble on. I credit this place with teaching me pretty much everything about sobriety and myself. I'm so glad you joined us, I have a good feeling about you kid
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