Hopefulness keeps me going.
Hopefulness keeps me going.
Story of recovery.
I will keep this short and sweet. Unveiling the mysteries of a woman's soul is intended to be arduous. I wish I were an open book. Somewhere along the line in life I closed up. Shut everyone out. Became an observer. I internalized everything. I was reluctant to open up to anyone for some unknown fear. I guess you could say I'm sensitive. I'd been screwed over, taken advantage of, made bad choices. I always felt I had a guardian angel though. I always played with fire and never got burned. Addiction runs deep in my family. I always thought I was level headed and in control. I didn't have a problem. I wouldn't be affected. As years went on the drinking and substance abuse got worse. I would go through periods of being clean and healthy, then something would trigger a relapse. I look back now and see that I struggled so badly. I see now why I failed so many times... I was trying to fix myself without even knowing what was wrong. Once I realized I had a problem I was able to address my addiction issues. It was hard because I was so deep into being drunk every day the last Binge. I started blacking out at family get togethers. I would forget what happened. It lasted for 6 months. I would think to myself as I was drunk.. I'm not going to get better until I stop my addictive behavior. I need to be free. But I was so deep in this hole... I am still climbing out. I'm being realistic. I want to be happy. I see a difference every single day. I guess this wasn't so short and sweet. I have to stop myself before I go on forever. Talking about it sure makes me feel better. I read all of your stories and I am inspired by all of you. Thank you.
I will keep this short and sweet. Unveiling the mysteries of a woman's soul is intended to be arduous. I wish I were an open book. Somewhere along the line in life I closed up. Shut everyone out. Became an observer. I internalized everything. I was reluctant to open up to anyone for some unknown fear. I guess you could say I'm sensitive. I'd been screwed over, taken advantage of, made bad choices. I always felt I had a guardian angel though. I always played with fire and never got burned. Addiction runs deep in my family. I always thought I was level headed and in control. I didn't have a problem. I wouldn't be affected. As years went on the drinking and substance abuse got worse. I would go through periods of being clean and healthy, then something would trigger a relapse. I look back now and see that I struggled so badly. I see now why I failed so many times... I was trying to fix myself without even knowing what was wrong. Once I realized I had a problem I was able to address my addiction issues. It was hard because I was so deep into being drunk every day the last Binge. I started blacking out at family get togethers. I would forget what happened. It lasted for 6 months. I would think to myself as I was drunk.. I'm not going to get better until I stop my addictive behavior. I need to be free. But I was so deep in this hole... I am still climbing out. I'm being realistic. I want to be happy. I see a difference every single day. I guess this wasn't so short and sweet. I have to stop myself before I go on forever. Talking about it sure makes me feel better. I read all of your stories and I am inspired by all of you. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 26
Hi Sharpy,
Don't you remember the saying, "If you have hope, you have the life"? I guess you have heard that. So, there is little to worry about. Whatever it takes, you will recover as long as you believe you have some hopes to have it.
Don't you remember the saying, "If you have hope, you have the life"? I guess you have heard that. So, there is little to worry about. Whatever it takes, you will recover as long as you believe you have some hopes to have it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Knoxville, tn
Posts: 45
Welcome! You sound like a strong person albeit we all have times we are trying to fix something that we have no clue where to start with the fixing or why we are trying to fix it. You are in a good place on this site so hang in there!
I remember telling a psychiatrist that I had hope. He said he wished he could "bottle it up" and give it to others!
Gosh, seems to be a day about hope.
I am posting this link for the 3rd time!
Danny Gokey - Hope In Front of Me - Official Music Video - YouTube
Gosh, seems to be a day about hope.
I am posting this link for the 3rd time!
Danny Gokey - Hope In Front of Me - Official Music Video - YouTube
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