help with sister
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 43
help with sister
my sis came home from rehab about a week ago
i've been trying to do what everyone told me on this site but she's been more distant, coming home later etc...i'm starting to think she's going back to drugs
what can i do to prevent that ??
i've been trying to do what everyone told me on this site but she's been more distant, coming home later etc...i'm starting to think she's going back to drugs
what can i do to prevent that ??
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
It;s hard to accept I know, but the desire to stay clean and sober has to come from your sister, it can't come from you.
It's hard to know whats going on with your sister if you're not talking.
I think its ok to let her know you're concerned, but you need to work on your own recovery too.
Have you ever been to AlAnon or Naranon Lily? you'll find a lot of support there.
D
It's hard to know whats going on with your sister if you're not talking.
I think its ok to let her know you're concerned, but you need to work on your own recovery too.
Have you ever been to AlAnon or Naranon Lily? you'll find a lot of support there.
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Is it possible she is out late at an AA meeting?
I know for others around us the first thing they jump to is a relapse and for good reason.
When I got sober I felt it was a very personal thing and I still feel that way. I do not share much with my family. It is my journey. I also feel that while I know my family loves me and they want nothing more than to help, they can't.
I am the only one that can walk the path and while I can walk it with another alcoholic to support me, they cannot do it for me. Same goes for family except at times they cannot even support me other then to let me know they love me.
I have to go to were the alcoholics are, the rooms of AA, to get the tools and the guidance that keeps me sober.
Another issue may be that after we get sober all the bad stuff we have done while drunk comes rushing out of the woodwork like roaches and putting distance between ourselves and the people we have harmed was our (my) way of coping with that for a while.
So while I am trying to put a more positive spin on what may be happening I have no clue. If she is back out using there is nothing you can do other than let her know you love her.
I know for others around us the first thing they jump to is a relapse and for good reason.
When I got sober I felt it was a very personal thing and I still feel that way. I do not share much with my family. It is my journey. I also feel that while I know my family loves me and they want nothing more than to help, they can't.
I am the only one that can walk the path and while I can walk it with another alcoholic to support me, they cannot do it for me. Same goes for family except at times they cannot even support me other then to let me know they love me.
I have to go to were the alcoholics are, the rooms of AA, to get the tools and the guidance that keeps me sober.
Another issue may be that after we get sober all the bad stuff we have done while drunk comes rushing out of the woodwork like roaches and putting distance between ourselves and the people we have harmed was our (my) way of coping with that for a while.
So while I am trying to put a more positive spin on what may be happening I have no clue. If she is back out using there is nothing you can do other than let her know you love her.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Have you talked to her about her late nights? I'd have a good talk with her, tell her of your concerns. Other than that, there's not much you can do other than set boundaries of what you will and will not tolerate from her. 
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