tree1989

My husband and I drink often and drink a lot (one or two drinks never happens) – this has been going on since we met about 2.5 years ago (I didn’t really drink before that)
I have wanted to quit for a while now due to the way it is affecting my life. I’ve seen me change from a happy, fun, very easy to get along person to basically a mean drunk that ends up past out. I don’t like the person I have turned into however I still want to drink and can’t stop thinking about it. My husband has no desire to quit and I don’t know how to get sober when our life revolves around drinking and partying. We host parties every weekend at our house and this weekend will be my first weekend sober. Im already annoyed and mad of the idea of him (and everyone else) getting drunk and having fun and I can see myself being the party kill and I don’t want that. I need advice on how to deal with this and also have fun. Him quitting with me would be so much easier but that is not going to happen right now. Is it possible to be sober and still be surrounded by it and not let it ruin me.

hopeful4

Unfortunately I do not think it is possible. Have you considered not being at the party...to go somewhere else and do something else? You have a right to sobriety and it will be a challenge. It will be an even bigger one b/c of your husband's alcoholism. I would bet that if you truly stay sober and take a look at everyone drinking and making a fool of themselves you will be sort of disgusted by it. I hear this alot and certainly being the wife of an alcoholic I find it almost unbearable to be around people drinking.

Good Luck to you!

tree1989

thank you for the reply. I think leaving would be helpful but its not likely to happen - the parties are at our house and normally last to early hours in the morning. I'm really scared it's going to tear us apart and I'm scared my bitterness for not being able to drink is going to turn me into a horrible person.

least

Stop looking at sobriety as deprivation, look at it as salvation instead. The next morning you'll be the only one not nursing a bad hangover. The only one who remembers the whole night. The only one who didn't make a fool of themselves.


I believe it IS possible for one to quit drinking when the other doesn't. It takes a lot of determination but it's possible.

Don't think of yourself as being bitter because you can't drink, think of being free of that toxic liquid.


to SR!

GillianChicago

What is your absolute favorite place to go out for breakfast and what is your favorite meal there? Treat yourself the following morning to that, while everyone else is passed out until noon. Tiny rewards are what keep me going (granted I am only on day 9, but I never thought I'd make it to day 3).

You CAN do this!

Anna

Yes, it depends on your perspective. You can see stopping drinking as moving forward and doing the right thing for yourself. If you look at it that way, you won't have bitterness. Recovery is empowering.

It does sound like you will need to make some big changes in your life in order to recover, and I hope that you make that choice.

tree1989

thank you for your replies. I will try all! I guess I'm afraid of being the dull one...alcohol always seems to make me more outgoing and fun. So when we are "partying" Im afraid I wont know how to act. :/

Thepatman

Difficult one. When you have some sober time it might be easier. But this early will be difficult I personally think. You might feel completely out of place sober. Drinking really changes the way people act.

You could however try it as an experiment type thing. To analyze how booze really changes people. They will speak louder the more drunk they get.

Good luck

jdooner

Try talking to your doc explain the situation and perhaps a deterrent like Antebuse might help. The thought of getting deathly ill might be the deterrent and if you take when you are thinking straight it could be your excuse to stay sober.

There is a bigger issue you are going to have to tackle though beyond this weekend.