From Addiction to Sobriety A Twisted Journey
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: New York
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From Addiction to Sobriety A Twisted Journey
I am new to the forum and would like to share my story. I hope it helps a few other people overcome the challenges during their recovery.
I battled dual addictions during my lowest point. Alcohol was always my crutch. I turned to it to get happy. I turned to it for confidence. I drank for excitement. I tipped a bottle to deal with sadness, fear, and despair. No matter what the problem or need, alcohol could help. At least that was what I believed.
My second addiction started after a minor accident. I had severe pain in my back, centered near my shoulder blades that radiated down my left arm. It felt excruciating. The painkillers provided relief and therapy began fixing the problem rapidly. Even as my back returned to normal, my desire to keep taking the pills remained. Two things helped me overcome this second addiction. The first was my doctor canceling my prescriptions and calling my pharmacist. I debated chasing the drugs through another doctor or the black market, but I had another friend who could help. My friends name was Jack. As you can probably guess, his last name was Daniels. Jack and I became best friends spending hours of time together every day.
Jack counseled me away from the pain meds, because I was too drunk to care. It was at this point that my life nose-dived. My family was turning on me. My employer was talking to me about their concerns. I was convinced I was a fully functioning drunk, but obviously not quite good enough. I finally gave up when one of my best clients sat me down in his office and told me about his own battles with alcohol. I would have never known.
That night he and my wife drove me to a treatment center. I checked in. The struggles I faced over the next few weeks were tremendous. The lack of alcohol did not drive me crazy. It was facing me that did. The counselor was relentless. He forced me to look deep. He challenged my beliefs. He forced me to put more effort into his worksheets, thinking, and exploring my life. I cannot count how many times he stood right in my face challenging me with his strength, commitment, and love.
That counselor at lifescape solutions always thought I would succeed and challenged me daily to push harder and farther. One particular exercise has stuck with me ever since. He asked us to write down a minimum of 10 alternative activities or hobbies we would use to replace our affair with alcohol. I was stuck on six items. Once more, he stepped up and challenged me. He insisted I come up with four more before I could go back to my room. Those four additional items changed my future.
Sitting at nine on the list was a personal challenge to start going to a gym and becoming extremely fit. The counselor, a very fit person, circled it and commented that was one of his major catalysts in his recovery. He challenged me to try it.
Going home to face real life felt great. I remember walking into the house feeling on top of the world. My wife was proud. My family was supportive. The next few days back at work were great, also. Then I ran into "one of those" projects. Everything we did hit snags and problems. The client was upset. My boss was upset. I was working overtime and feeling the stress building in my body and mind. Friday night as I drove towards home a big Jack Daniels sales sign caught my eye. I slowed down. I glanced up the street wondering if anyone I knew was watching. A flashing sign caught my eye. It was a fitness center. I pulled into the center's parking lot, pulled out my counselor's business card, and called him. We talked for over 30 minutes on the phone before I walked into the fitness center and signed up. I was scared to death. I had never worked out seriously in my life.
I went home and told my wife what happened on the trip home, everything. She helped me find a bag, a pair of shorts, white socks, and my old beat-up sneakers. The next morning I was at that gym at 6 AM. I left the gym exhausted, but excited. Over the next few days, I teamed up with a couple other guys in the gym and started on a fitness routine similar to theirs. We challenged each other. We helped each other. We became close friends. About at month later one of the guys pulled me aside. He asked me one simple question, "How long?" He opened his bag, pulled out an AA five-year pin, and showed it to me. I have no idea how he knew. He never told me. He became my sponsor at AA and one of my best friends.
The combination of a counselor who really cared, pushed, and challenged, the fitness center, my new friends, and AA gave me a strong foundation to overcome those days when Jack calls loud and clear. When my wife sees me feeling stressed and fidgeting in the house she brings me two things, my gym bag and my cell phone. I call either the counselor or my sponsor then head to the gym. Many times my sponsor meets me at the gym for an extra workout.
My fitness level is phenomenal. My focus is the best it has ever been in my life. My wife claims I am more romantic than ever. Challenges still appear, but that ninth item on my list provides an alternative that provides excitement, stress relief, and a feeling of camaraderie I needed. Think about that. Number nine on my list of six items. Without a solid push by a great counselor, I could easily be back to drinking or floundering in my recovery.
Find a great counselor, discover your alternative behaviors, get a good sponsor, and strive to stay on course. It is not always easy, but it is always worth it.
I battled dual addictions during my lowest point. Alcohol was always my crutch. I turned to it to get happy. I turned to it for confidence. I drank for excitement. I tipped a bottle to deal with sadness, fear, and despair. No matter what the problem or need, alcohol could help. At least that was what I believed.
My second addiction started after a minor accident. I had severe pain in my back, centered near my shoulder blades that radiated down my left arm. It felt excruciating. The painkillers provided relief and therapy began fixing the problem rapidly. Even as my back returned to normal, my desire to keep taking the pills remained. Two things helped me overcome this second addiction. The first was my doctor canceling my prescriptions and calling my pharmacist. I debated chasing the drugs through another doctor or the black market, but I had another friend who could help. My friends name was Jack. As you can probably guess, his last name was Daniels. Jack and I became best friends spending hours of time together every day.
Jack counseled me away from the pain meds, because I was too drunk to care. It was at this point that my life nose-dived. My family was turning on me. My employer was talking to me about their concerns. I was convinced I was a fully functioning drunk, but obviously not quite good enough. I finally gave up when one of my best clients sat me down in his office and told me about his own battles with alcohol. I would have never known.
That night he and my wife drove me to a treatment center. I checked in. The struggles I faced over the next few weeks were tremendous. The lack of alcohol did not drive me crazy. It was facing me that did. The counselor was relentless. He forced me to look deep. He challenged my beliefs. He forced me to put more effort into his worksheets, thinking, and exploring my life. I cannot count how many times he stood right in my face challenging me with his strength, commitment, and love.
That counselor at lifescape solutions always thought I would succeed and challenged me daily to push harder and farther. One particular exercise has stuck with me ever since. He asked us to write down a minimum of 10 alternative activities or hobbies we would use to replace our affair with alcohol. I was stuck on six items. Once more, he stepped up and challenged me. He insisted I come up with four more before I could go back to my room. Those four additional items changed my future.
Sitting at nine on the list was a personal challenge to start going to a gym and becoming extremely fit. The counselor, a very fit person, circled it and commented that was one of his major catalysts in his recovery. He challenged me to try it.
Going home to face real life felt great. I remember walking into the house feeling on top of the world. My wife was proud. My family was supportive. The next few days back at work were great, also. Then I ran into "one of those" projects. Everything we did hit snags and problems. The client was upset. My boss was upset. I was working overtime and feeling the stress building in my body and mind. Friday night as I drove towards home a big Jack Daniels sales sign caught my eye. I slowed down. I glanced up the street wondering if anyone I knew was watching. A flashing sign caught my eye. It was a fitness center. I pulled into the center's parking lot, pulled out my counselor's business card, and called him. We talked for over 30 minutes on the phone before I walked into the fitness center and signed up. I was scared to death. I had never worked out seriously in my life.
I went home and told my wife what happened on the trip home, everything. She helped me find a bag, a pair of shorts, white socks, and my old beat-up sneakers. The next morning I was at that gym at 6 AM. I left the gym exhausted, but excited. Over the next few days, I teamed up with a couple other guys in the gym and started on a fitness routine similar to theirs. We challenged each other. We helped each other. We became close friends. About at month later one of the guys pulled me aside. He asked me one simple question, "How long?" He opened his bag, pulled out an AA five-year pin, and showed it to me. I have no idea how he knew. He never told me. He became my sponsor at AA and one of my best friends.
The combination of a counselor who really cared, pushed, and challenged, the fitness center, my new friends, and AA gave me a strong foundation to overcome those days when Jack calls loud and clear. When my wife sees me feeling stressed and fidgeting in the house she brings me two things, my gym bag and my cell phone. I call either the counselor or my sponsor then head to the gym. Many times my sponsor meets me at the gym for an extra workout.
My fitness level is phenomenal. My focus is the best it has ever been in my life. My wife claims I am more romantic than ever. Challenges still appear, but that ninth item on my list provides an alternative that provides excitement, stress relief, and a feeling of camaraderie I needed. Think about that. Number nine on my list of six items. Without a solid push by a great counselor, I could easily be back to drinking or floundering in my recovery.
Find a great counselor, discover your alternative behaviors, get a good sponsor, and strive to stay on course. It is not always easy, but it is always worth it.
to SR! I too see a counselor and give her a lot of credit for my recovery. She, and this site, are what is keeping me sober. 
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