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Old 10-26-2013, 11:30 AM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Oct 2013
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Long distance boyfriend is a chronic pot user.


This is very new to me as I have never posted on a forum before but I am at a complete loss.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now, we have lived together basically from the beginning and I moved with him to another province for his work. Just recently I moved back to our original location for various reasons he was extremely supportive of me and we agreed to do distance till March when he moves back.
I should also mention due to his work we have and are used to distance between us.

My boyfriend has always been a pot smoker and I am a very occasional smoker, he has also abused steroids in the past. I never noticed the pot to be a problem before... It was recreational and never interfered with his work, friendships or our relationship but lately he has been smoking an obscene amount and only hanging around others who also smoke. He has become very distant, sometimes angry, selfish and doesn't follow through with anything he says.
This is very unusual behaviour for him and to be honest I miss my old boyfriend which has left me confused and unsure of what to do. When I try talking to him he says he is just irritated with everything and everyone and that it's not the pot. It seems that every time I call or text he is under the influence.

Does anyone have any advice for me? It's simple enough to say leave him but I'm not at that point yet.

I appreciate anyone who can make suggestions to better the situation as I am very hurt and worried for him.
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Old 10-26-2013, 01:27 PM   #2 (permalink)

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Hi Lylatux,

Welcome to SR.

This is a great place and you will find loads of helpful information.

I have never been in this position so I am probably not the best of people to give advice.

However, I have been an addict myself.

Addiction makes people act selfish and out of character.

The person does need to want to talk about it, maybe you could ask him to be sober and then have a chat about it?

Sorry if I haven't been much help, I wish you all the best and hope your boyfriend gets his problem sorted out.

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Old 10-26-2013, 02:46 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi Lyla

Long distance relationships can be tough even at the best of times.

I've never been exactly in that situation but I did smoke pot for nearly 30 years - from your post it does sound like your BF is in deep.

The only thing I can suggest is you try and open up some communication. If you've tried that, and he's not communicative or he dismisses your concerns, maybe you need to think about what you're getting out of this relationship?

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least (10-26-2013)
Old 10-26-2013, 05:59 PM   #4 (permalink)
bona fido dog-lover
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I agree with Dee. What are you getting out of this relationship? Distance is not the only thing separating you two. Your bf seems to have developed an 'attitude' and isn't acting very friendly towards you.

I hope it all works out ok for you both.
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Old 10-27-2013, 05:36 AM   #5 (permalink)
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If you've tried talking it over with your boyfriend and he doesn't see the pot as a problem, what else can you do but leave? I am sorry if this is not what you want to hear. It doesn't sound like he is capable of being a good partner, and you can't change his mind for him.
Perhaps telling him you need a break will be a good wake up call, but you won't know until you try. Good luck.
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boyfriend, distance, pot

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