mariedavid

Hello, I am marie, david is my fiancé... we are sooo tired of everything... we need help, I don't know what to do anymore except ask for help...

doggonecarl

Wecome to Sober Recovery.

Help for what?

Whatever brings you to SR, you'll find support and help here.

mariedavid

well, I am an alcoholic, he is addicted to percocets, and were both addicted to crack/cocaine... we have been together since july 2011, and when we get to our wits end we fight extremely hard.... physically and Im sitting here with a swollen black eye hiding from family and friends... I know its the drugs and alcohol, I just don't know where to start, I don't know what to do!!

doggonecarl

Well, there are a number of ways to recovery from alcohol and drugs. I don't want to say, "Hey, do it this way if you want to get clean." If you read enough on this site you will see where different methods have been successful.

But if you are at your wits end about quitting and how to do it, I'd suggest face-to-face recovery in the form of Narcotics Anonymous. People who have been where you are, know what you are going through, and know the way out can help.

Good luck.

Anna

Yes, do take a look around and you'll see lots of ways for getting sober.

My advice is to go to the nearest Women's Shelter and stay there. Abuse is NEVER okay and it never happens just once.

least

I too would not tolerate abuse of any kind!! Call a womens' shelter and ask for their help. Getting sober is possible but would be very difficult in such a situation.

13unluckyforsom

I've a bit of experience in this sort of situation - what helped me to make a clear and rational choice was underpinned by getting sober and seeing everything for exactly what it was.

I'm aware that you seem to think your as bad as each other - and that's only ultimately for you to know what way the balance swings. To be honest it doesn't matter - physical violence is not and should not be part of any loving relationship. Regardless of blame or anything else - your relationship is toxic and dangerous and I suggest that you walk away while you can.

The friends and family you are hiding from - I'm sure they'd want to help you any way they can but you have to tell them what's going on. I spent years drinking at my situation - I compromised myself far too much and as a result I got to the stage where I was suicidal - I'd urge you to go with your instincts. Don't ignore this and think it will get better - it never does.

13unluckyforsom

If your finding it hard to evaluate the situation - this is what I done for about two weeks - I read everything I could on emotional abuse, physical abuse - I watched YouTube videos on everything from narcissists to manipulators - gas lighting techniques - I had to do a heck of a lot of fact finding so that I could make an informed decision that I knew 110% was the right one. Because me personally - I always questioned my judgement - I don't like to see the bad in people and I found it very hard to do but knowledge was power for me and I've only been out 9 days now but the relief is immense.

I don't mean to preach at you but I just want you to know that it's not right to be hit. It really isn't it's a gross abuse of trust. I'd also like to say that mental abuse is so so dangerous to you - don't under estimate this please. Do research if your unsure.

trikyriky

Hello friend , I feel for you. I'm recovering from crack cocaine. I used coke in one form or another for 30+ years. I now have 18 days clean and finally can feel , good or bad I feel it . It beats the shame & regret I felt after using by far.

You need to start now. Today could be your Day 1. Repeat Day 2. One day @ a time. One hour @ a time

Believe me when I tell you , it gets better

I agree with ^. You need to get into recovery alone. It's important , your life depends on it.

Tr

NewMe32

I know this may sound outdated, but you cannot help anyone else until you help yourself...

As the others have said and I have done from my own experience....

Find a local Women's shelter, there are increasingly more that include Domestic Violence and Substance Abuse...

Get there fast, you'll find some amazing women there that are going through the same things and you will have support if you feel you are unable to quit using on your own..

Taking the first step always seems like the hardest, but it's the most important step and decision that you have to make

YOU CAN DO IT!

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Marie

I agree with the others about the shelter but I know it can be difficult to leave even an abusive relationship. Has David expressed any interest in getting clean or changing things for the better?

Glad you are here x