sicknote

Ok, self destruct button out again... feeling pure fuming Anger, just tore up a room full of my sh*t, would like to tear myself up. Normally, I'd get steaming drunk, pretend I'm ok, and forget about it.

What do normal people do in these situations?

Maybe I need some fresh air or something?

sicknote

Maybe I should phone the Samaritans, that might be a good idea

Skye2

Exercise, exercise and MORE exercise
I always used to swim or run/fast-walk when something upset me - til I found the lazy way out and alcohol

Hope nothing too valuable to you, got damaged x

PS Thumping 7 bells out of a pillow/mattress also works

Skye2

Hey, if you're feeling that bad, then give them a call - you've nothing to lose huh?

Xx

ScottFromWI

Just a thought, but have you ever spoken with a counselor or doctor about your anger issues? Tearing up a room full of stuff is not healthy for you or the room. It's good that you didn't decide to drink, but many times we uncover the real issues we face when we stop drinking and must work on treating those as well.

MidnightBlue

Couldn't agree more.

Exercise is an amazing way to get steam off and it goes with bonus - getting in better shape.

jazzfish

I recommend exercise, even just a short 5 minute burst of intense exercise can dispel the anger. I am assuming, though, that this is early sobriety anger (irritability). If it is anger after longer term sobriety, then counseling is probably a good option as exercise will not help you resolve underlying issues that are causing the anger.

miko67

I was mad with anger for first three months. I went to meeting n spoke about it. You'll feel better once u can talk over it. Usually your mind hasn't the knowledge to get out the problem it gave itself. I also dobe slot of swimming and yoga and kick boxibg and soccer. all good ;-) Just my opinion n experience .
Peace

sicknote

Thanks guys! Bit calmer now Luckily I didn't smash up anything valuable.

Totally going to looking into some exercise! running and stuff might be good. Blow off some steam some other way!

I've got a problem I have which I can't easily escape, unfortunately, one of them things that I have to have the serenity to accept, but it's a challenge.

I'm on a waiting list for some CBT. Fingers crossed!!

As long as I don't drink right! Must NOT drink.

Glad I'm not the only one who's experienced anger miko67! Maybe that's what I need to do, talk to someone about it, even if there isn't anything I can do about it.

KateL

I eat sweets :/

sicknote

Good thinking KateL! Chocolate here I come!

NewMe32

hey sicknote, when it comes to anger i am a sickpuppy as well. Now in my sober state, I feel plunged into dealing with it (anger and rage) head on bc its creeps on me like a viper. And, yes, it is 'very', very hard.

I just completed a 90-day domestic violence/substance abuse program and am now living back home with my mother so I don't lose my 8 y.o son. What stinks is the relationship with my mother is very tense and during my childhood and adolescent years, was one of my main sources and triggers for drinking.

The good news is that, I finally got out of a very long-lasting, abusive relationship with my husband, (which was another BIG trigger to my perpetual state of drunkenness), AND I got clean and sober!!

But now my mother is having to deal with the 'sober' me and I am constantly criticized. I harbor A LOT of anger and rage that I try 'really', really hard to suppress, and YES, exercise (esp. running) helps A TON!!!...

I easily run 6 miles/dy, but feel I need to add another hour of exercise to my day bc I'm not going to lie, I am no daisy to be around at this fragile point in my life and my relationships at home are constantly going through a "Rupture and Repair" phase, which makes me feel like a piece of ****!!!

Any advice??

~Emotionally Exhausted

workoholic

I wanted to turn over a shelf of coffee at the supermarket yesterday
Got anger issues too but my usual victim is myself and occasionally stuff at home.

hellomynameis

Anger is a big thing for me as well except I turn it internal. It eats my mind and becomes my obession. I think the thing that helps me is heading off the anger before it becomes so huge in my mind that it explodes. I have sort of learned through CBT to look ahead to see the anger coming like a train in the distance and I want to get out of its way before it gets to me. This imagery also helps me with depression and it has helped me with using a lot too.

I can usually tell when the anger is building if I can see the train off in the distance and even if I don't actually feel angry at that moment, I can start the process to head off the train before it becomes unstoppable thrashing anger.

Imagery helps me so much to tune into the mind that is trying sometimes to obessively destroy me.

Have a great day...

sicknote

NewMe32, wow, you just said a whole bunch of stuff I relate to! I've been in bad relationships, and now I'm back home to face constant criticism, being who I am isn't good enough for them. Rupture and Repair, I'm just exploding all over the place, literally with different emotions, facing feelings head on sober, when usual I would just get drunk and not deal with it at all! All the problems and feelings are bubbling to the surface. It's weird. I think I'm going mad. I don't have any way to switch them off as I'm not anaesthetising myself anymore. No advice yet! I'm hoping to get more exercise, get some CBT and talk to someone, which will probably be the Samaritans. If you find a way of dealing with it please let me know! Good Luck to you!!!!! xx

workoholic, totally! I'm my own victim, I usually beat myself with booze, and I'm a glutton for punishment

hellomynameis, Obsession! that's another big thing for me! Bl**dy Obsession! Like picking a scab. I'm waiting for a referral for CBT so it's good to hear it helps. That's what I'd like to do, to see it coming and get to it before it gets me

I can't get no relief. No booze. Straight to bed for me!

Thanks people for your advice and feedback!

xx

NewMe32

BTW I find that Laughter, Music, and a lil' Sarcasm helps getting me through these days as well

choublak

Maybe try cleaning next time?

NewMe32

And another thing sicknote, don't forget that the life that we used to live (the one where we dealt w/ our problems with drinking and self-sabotage),

Well, that life didn't work (in fact, it made s**T a hell of a lot worse)...And that's why we are here NOW (Thank God!),

..So, Yes, it's gonna be even harder dealing with our 'selves' (at times) and the way people might react to us (other times)...

...but I guarantee that the work we put into Our Sobriety is worth every second of it because the Pay-Off is True Peace and True Happiness. (As opposed to the temporary false-sense of peace we tried to obtain through numbing-out the feelings with alcohol Sheesh, Alcohol! What A F*$&#g Rip-Off!!!

...OVER TIME + Staying Sober + WILLINGNESS to become BETTER people we will eventually build more TRUST, more RESPECT that develops into more fulfilling and meaningful relationships w/ those close to us...

My advice...to you, to me, to others...1. Be Patient, 2. Love Yourself, 3. Be Kind to Yourself., 4. FORGIVE YOURSELF!, so that we can learn to treat others the same



I appreciate you sharing, I felt pretty helpless thinking I was all alone with these feelings...:

MythOfSisyphus

In the short term sobriety made my anger worse; it seems that I was constantly grouchy and snapping at people for little reason. And when I had legitimate reasons to be angry I'd get irrationally angry. I think it was basically my AV venting its frustration at not being able to drink.

The good news though is that it passes. But other posters are spot-on. We use alcohol to self medicate and alleviate other issues. Take away the booze and those issues still remain and must be dealt with. But millions of sober people have problems, too, and they manage. That's our challenge, to manage just like everyone else.

GracieLou

Ah yes, anger. I know it well. I wanted to punch walls, I was told to punch my mattress. I took my dog to the park or I cleaned.

This to, shall pass.