AA not work for anybody else??
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Hi Ryan,
If you're asking if people have happily quit drinking/changed their lives without a program or group, the answer is yes. I'm pretty sure it's been going on since the beginning of time.
If you're asking if people have happily quit drinking/changed their lives without a program or group, the answer is yes. I'm pretty sure it's been going on since the beginning of time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 65
This is true people without drinking problems can happily stop/give it up all on their own.
But the true alcoholic is not happy about stopping/giving up that's just one of many characteristics that make up this illness know as 'denial.'
But the true alcoholic is not happy about stopping/giving up that's just one of many characteristics that make up this illness know as 'denial.'
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
I used them all Ryan. I took what I could use from each to stay sober, and left the rest. AA had a place in my early recovery for which I am grateful. As did here on SR the whole time. Books and videos, counseling, friends and family, my docs. Reading the online SMART tools, and on and on.
When all is said and done, more is said than done when we blame the medicine for not working when we don't take it as directed. Or at all.
We all have a problem, and there are many styles of recovery. None work without our not drinking. Not the method not drinking. Us. Everything else is choice, preferences, and sometimes, agendas.
Ok so AA does not blow up your skirt. Fine. What have you tried since?
I believe many just quit until they feel better and then go back until they can't quit at all for a break of even two days. And no one believes it can happen to them.
Hang in there, try the many suggestions mentioned as recommended, be well.
Joining a gym does not get you fit, you not only have to go, but you have to work at it. Saying I did one rep on the universal gym, and my muscle tone didn't improve so I want a different way not tied to doing many reps the same way over and over doesn't make sense either does it?
When all is said and done, more is said than done when we blame the medicine for not working when we don't take it as directed. Or at all.
We all have a problem, and there are many styles of recovery. None work without our not drinking. Not the method not drinking. Us. Everything else is choice, preferences, and sometimes, agendas.
Ok so AA does not blow up your skirt. Fine. What have you tried since?
I believe many just quit until they feel better and then go back until they can't quit at all for a break of even two days. And no one believes it can happen to them.
Hang in there, try the many suggestions mentioned as recommended, be well.
Joining a gym does not get you fit, you not only have to go, but you have to work at it. Saying I did one rep on the universal gym, and my muscle tone didn't improve so I want a different way not tied to doing many reps the same way over and over doesn't make sense either does it?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi all. Yes there are many ways to stop drinking, the most successful one is to not pick up the first drink however we learn it. In my + 30 years sober and active in AA my biggest concern is the relapse rate in all the "programs" I've looked at. People in general forget pain and when we retreat from what we are doing now to get/stay sober our AV kicks in and many of our minds go AWOL. The reason I continue to attend meetings is to help another alcoholic still shaking and shivering, seeing old friends, and be reminded what got me there and it wasn't too much B&Js. Perhaps I'm among only a few that has a forgetter?
BE WELL
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ontario
Posts: 66
Hi Ryan, good luck and congratulations on your decision to stop drinking 
I go to AA but I know it is not for everyone. I found it frustrating at first because I had to 'shop around' a bit for meetings. I've never experienced the chip thing you mentionned (them forcing you to take a new chip every time you miss a meeting or what not) which is just bizarre to me. No one should be forcing you to do anything.
My home group is one of the most laid back in my city. You should see our business meetings. Hilarity. Anyway. It works for us, but I know sometimes people don't like how laid back we are, and want a more rigid group to keep them on the straight and narrow. it really depends on you.
But don't let anyone tell you that there is a right/wrong way to get sober and stay sober. The right way for you is the way that works for you!
I go to AA but I know it is not for everyone. I found it frustrating at first because I had to 'shop around' a bit for meetings. I've never experienced the chip thing you mentionned (them forcing you to take a new chip every time you miss a meeting or what not) which is just bizarre to me. No one should be forcing you to do anything.
My home group is one of the most laid back in my city. You should see our business meetings. Hilarity. Anyway. It works for us, but I know sometimes people don't like how laid back we are, and want a more rigid group to keep them on the straight and narrow. it really depends on you.
But don't let anyone tell you that there is a right/wrong way to get sober and stay sober. The right way for you is the way that works for you!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"I can't wrap my hands around the whole only way you get sober is to have a " spiritual experience."
im not sure if I read where in AA's big book it says the only way to get sober is have a spiritual experience, but I know it says this:
when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.
theres a lot of other options and I hope ya find something that works(work-activity in which one exerts strength or faculties to do or perform something; sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result.)
im not sure if I read where in AA's big book it says the only way to get sober is have a spiritual experience, but I know it says this:
when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.
theres a lot of other options and I hope ya find something that works(work-activity in which one exerts strength or faculties to do or perform something; sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result.)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 107
That reminds me of the "wait for the miracle to happen" bit. I guess the idea of a spiritual awakening or a miracle does appeal to me--who wouldn't want such a dramatic redemption? I have come to believe that god just doesn't gel for some people, myself included. Maybe time will prove me wrong, I don't know.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
"I can't wrap my hands around the whole only way you get sober is to have a " spiritual experience."
im not sure if I read where in AA's big book it says the only way to get sober is have a spiritual experience, but I know it says this:
when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.
theres a lot of other options and I hope ya find something that works(work-activity in which one exerts strength or faculties to do or perform something; sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result.)
im not sure if I read where in AA's big book it says the only way to get sober is have a spiritual experience, but I know it says this:
when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.
theres a lot of other options and I hope ya find something that works(work-activity in which one exerts strength or faculties to do or perform something; sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result.)
Well I am an atheist and that just pisses me off! And it has that effect on a substantial proportion of AA members. That is why there are more and more alternate versions of the Steps and the AA approach. There are even agnostic focused meetings in places..sadly not near me.
I should add that elsewhere in the BB there are rather more inclusive messages.
I go to AA and I leave out the god bits and if and when I talk - not all that often - I am very clear that any higher power I may rely on is certainly not spiritual - but the group support of the people sitting in the room.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Mentium
Actually it does pretty firmly insist that a spiritual path is the only way to 'true' sobriety. In 'Doctor Bob's Nightmare' he says 'If you think you are an atheist, an agnostic, a sceptic , or have any other form of intellectual pride which keeps you from accepting what is in this book I feel sorry for you'. It gors on to say 'Your heavenly father will never let you down'.
Well I am an atheist and that just pisses me off! And it has that effect on a substantial proportion of AA members. That is why there are more and more alternate versions of the Steps and the AA approach. There are even agnostic focused meetings in places..sadly not near me.
I should add that elsewhere in the BB there are rather more inclusive messages.
I go to AA and I leave out the god bits and if and when I talk - not all that often - I am very clear that any higher power I may rely on is certainly not spiritual - but the group support of the people sitting in the room.
Well I am an atheist and that just pisses me off! And it has that effect on a substantial proportion of AA members. That is why there are more and more alternate versions of the Steps and the AA approach. There are even agnostic focused meetings in places..sadly not near me.
I should add that elsewhere in the BB there are rather more inclusive messages.
I go to AA and I leave out the god bits and if and when I talk - not all that often - I am very clear that any higher power I may rely on is certainly not spiritual - but the group support of the people sitting in the room.
you let what one person says **** ya off? there is a solution for that in the program.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 345
Originally Posted by IOAA2
Perhaps I'm among only a few that has a forgetter
we just say, "it wasn't that bad..." YES ... IT WAS!!!!!
thanks for the reminder, signed forgetful me
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
I did it without AA. But I like to think I would have attended 90 in 90 dressed like a nun if that's what it took. And if that didn't work, I would have tried something else. And then something else after that.
When the plane went down, I happened to grab a blue parachute. But it would be pretty silly of me to question the usefulness of a green one.
When the plane went down, I happened to grab a blue parachute. But it would be pretty silly of me to question the usefulness of a green one.
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