Kramer100

My wife is gone & I'm so tempted to grab a drink. The devil on the left shoulder is saying "no one will know. Just have a couple." The angel on my right shoulder is reminding me of all the positives of not drinking. I hate this struggle.

hawkeyefan

Is there alcohol in your house now? I wouldn't be able to fight off the temptation if I had alcohol close by, at least not in this point of my sobriety. Ignore the devil side, think of the positives and if you do have alcohol in the house get poor it down the drain NOW so there will be no drink to grab!

Kramer100

We have a full bar with multiple beer taps (my wife entertains a lot). However, I put a lock on all of it two weeks ago and gave the keys to my wife and I dont know where they are. That said, there are at least 5 establishments within a 10 min walk that sell booze. I think I am going to go change the oil on my motorcycle right now even though it is not due for another 500 miles...

JadeSatellite

It's up to you to choose not to go out and buy that booze. I am having the same cravings you are right now. I was fantasizing about getting a bottle at the UDF down the street, but I am keeping myself right here until it goes away. I won't let myself; don't let that devil trick you into doing something you know you don't want to.

Kramer100

I'm not going to do it. Working on a list of chores to do around the house to occupy my night. If I start doing things other than sit on the couch and watch football, I will be able to take my mind off of drinking.

bigsombrero

You will know. And you're doing this for yourself - not your wife. Maybe it's time to look in the mirror and take a look at the man you are doing this for. Because that man will know if you drink.

Good luck.

JadeSatellite

I've been watching funny videos and posting here for hours. I should clean up... but I'm feeling lazy right now

Kramer100

Bigsombrero, this hit me hard. Thanks for the post.

Kramer100

That's my problem. Feeling lazy, but that is when I feel I should have a beverage in hand. Ok, I'll watch one more episode of the simpsons and then change the oil on the bike.

Refreshing this thread and replying to posts is really helping me. I'm stronger than my craving. I will not drink tonight.

JadeSatellite

Good, I'm glad to hear that

DoubleBarrel

No one here is going to judge you, because YOU will know if you drank.
Tonight, after you make the choice you have one of two things to look forward to tomorrow morning.

Pride, which feels great.
or
Shame, that you succumbed to a temporary frail voice in your head.

Each time you resist, it gets easier. It's a whole new life that awaits.

ReadyAndAble

Great job, coming here and posting! In the early days, my cravings often kicked in when I found myself with some alone time. But then I realized there was something way more satisfying: my head hitting the pillow sober, knowing that I'd wake up feeling good about myself. Enjoy that feeling—you earned it!

rAAt

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 88

The spiritual axiom referred to in the Tenth Step -- "every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us" -- also tells me that there are no exceptions to it. No matter how unreasonable others may seem, I am responsible for not reacting negatively. Regardless of what is happening around me I will always have the prerogative, and the responsibility, of choosing what happens within me. I am the creator of my own reality.

When I take my daily inventory, I know that I must stop judging others. If I judge others, I am probably judging myself. Whoever is upsetting me most is my best teacher. I have much to learn from him or her, and in my heart, I should thank that person.

Pipping

I'm struggling tonight too Kramer. I am the only one at home and there are several places that I can purchase alcohol 5 minutes away. I am eating chocolate instead, not great for my waistline but better than waking tomorrow with that gut renching feeling of self loathing. Be strong, you can do this. Think how good you will feel when you wake up tomorrow with a clear head and how proud you will be of yourself for beating the cravings!

Dee74

how are you doing Kramer?

D

MythOfSisyphus

Good work, Kramer. At first you need a distraction, but ultimately you need to understand and commit to sobriety at the subatomic level! You're not staying sober so you don't get caught, etc. You're doing it to save your life, your job and your marriage. In my case I had to give myself no "outs", and banish the idea of "maybe" from the realm of possibility.

Drinking is poison! It will kill you! You must convince yourself of the literal truth of that.

Kramer100

Thanks to all of the replies last night. Not only did I get the oil changed, but worked on another bike I'm rebuilding. Ended working on it until about 1 am. Instead of a hangover this morning, I have a sense of accomplishment! Thanks for all the support.

Avra

Dont do it, believe me you will regret it. I made the mistake of seeing it through rose colored glasses and messed up big. Play the tape to the end, do you really think it will end well?

Edit: i see you made it through and thats great news, but if the temptation comes back hold strong. If you are anything like me, you are in a danger zone. I cycle between hating it and romanticizing it and then drinking brings me back full circle. Its exhausting and the only way to stop it is going to be to see it through. Alcohol wont help you.

PippoRossi

Your wife may not know, but you would know. To me that would be worse.