In Memory of keyweird

Hello everyone,
Well I started the radiation therapy today for the cancer that's in the shoulder bone, & in my right arm. Almost everything on the right side has cancer. It's "Small Cell" cancer, And is just about everywhere. The newest concern that I learned today is that the spreading is so fast & they're concern is a spread to the brain. I've been in limbo for 3 days for the Chemo waiting for the Medicaid "application" to be proven by the hospital to the oncologist that does the Chemo. NOT approval, of Medicaid. Just that I applied! It's been very hard to do this & I've been with someone almost all the time. I had to get away tonight, Come home to sit in my bed & watch whatever I want on TV, & get online & chat with my friends from SR! I'm in dire need of a bit of normal. Doing nothing but think & worry isn't going to help matters. And, I'm sure that there are a few that are worried that if I'm all by myself, I may sneak out & try to drink, But, they couldn't be more wrong. If I were to drink I'd die so fast. Sober, I can fight. Sober I can win! I've never been more sure of anything. I've got a clarity to my soul about this. The only thing that picking up again would prove is I'm willing to waste a precious gift! The newest thing I've learned is that living healthy is the best chance I have to fight this. When I used to drink, I didn't care what I put into my body for food. I've found proven cancer fighting diets & working them has been something else for someone like me... I miss sweets!! But, sugar feeds cancer. I'm grateful that I've got over 10 weeks sober. And, that I did get to live for 10 years sober before that relapse. That relapse led me to SR & here I've found a place to lean when I need too, & laugh when I get here! I honestly feel that when I allowed the lord & back in my life in January & got sober again it was for all that was to come. I just found him. And, there was a feeling of belonging to this wonderful church I attend. Even then, I relapsed for 8 days, & that's when a friend suggested this site to me, I figured, he11 I can use all the help I can get! why not give it a shot. And, that's been over 70 days ago. Without you all, my special friends, our funny chat room antics, special bus trips & wonderful food, I'd never have been able to hold to myself so tightly!
Our virtual friendship has made a special true loving impression. You all are hold a special place & I will do the best t keep you all updated as best I can..
I Love You All,
Thanks for the outpouring of love & support.
You are appreciated..

Freebird13

You are not all alone! You have us and God! Keep fighting the good fight! You will win!

trikyriky

It's good that your not walking alone.....with that

Good things can happen

Prayers , TR

Impurrfect

Keyweird - I admire you SO much. I'm really glad to hear that you realize that getting drunk is not the answer.

I know that the question is often asked "if you were given a death sentence, would you use?"

I'm NOT saying you're being given a death sentence, I'm just saying that those threads have made me think.

I have a loved one who is dealing with "cancer all over" at about my age (52) and she is so very positive, despite a dismal prognosis.

I truly believe that our minds are pretty darned strong. You are NOT giving up. You are reaching out for support. You are simply amazing

FWIW, I used to be a nurse (before addiction ended that career). I saw, what I would consider miracles. I'm not trying to give you false hope, I'm just sharing my ES&H.

My mom died when she was 50 from an ailment that happened when she was about 10 and no one knew what to do with it.

What I've learned is (and this is just MY feelings) is that we do the best we can do with what we know.

My mom taught me to treasure each day as a gift. Yes, I lost that when I was heavy into addiction, but boy do I feel it in recovery.

You've been given a dire prognosis, but that doesn't mean you can't have hope. That others can't pray, send good thoughts your way.

Laugh when you can, smile at things that just tickle your fancy. Reach out to those you have a positive outlook.

I'm not in your shoes but I know what my mom did. She lived in a life full of gratitude until the very end, and it had a HUGE impact on me. On the other hand? My favorite aunt had a massive heart attack, had HUGE complications and my uncle was told she was dying.

She didn't. As a former RN, I don't know why medically. All I know is that HP decided it wasn't her time.

Sorry to ramble. All I know is reach out for support. The people who love will love you if you beat this disease, and they will be with you if you don't.

Honestly? I'm praying you beat it. If not, I'm praying for acceptance when I don't understand.

Love, hugs and prayers,

Amy

wehav2day

keywierd, I am soooooo rooting for you! and you are brilliant for knowing how important it is to not drink over this. you don't want to waste another minute of your time on being unable to think or feel or experience because of a booze haze.

you are amazing.

suki44883

I'm so sorry to know about your situation. Sometimes, online friends can be a blessing because we just support you, but don't slobber all over you and make you crazy, like some real time family members do.

So glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself and understand that drinking won't solve anything.

It's good to hear from you. We do care about you. (((((HUGS)))))

Delilah1

Hi Keyweird,

I haven't been on much lately,mstillmstruggling with complete sobriety, but you SR certainly an inspiration. Your courage, your positive outlook, And the tone of your post are all extremely inspirational.

I am praying for a miracle cure, and if that is not the case, that you have immense love, and joy as you come to accept whatever the darn cancer brings.

Thank you for your honesty, bravery, and encouraging words. You are amazing!

SkyeSea

Sending you love n hugs from the UK x x x

Mirage74

Wow, Keywierd, pulling for you. Stay strong and with your attitude, you can beat this. If you can stay sober through that, I can stay sober.

Opivotal

Key, you're such an inspiration to so many members here. We love you dearly! You've made me laugh so hard and brought such joy to many of my days in chat.

Laughter is good for the soul. I truly believe that...we'll keep laughing together and I'll keep holding you close in my thoughts and prayers, my friend.

MythOfSisyphus

I wish you the best, Key! Give cancer a kick up the butt! You remind me to live my own life as fully as I can, as if each day could be my last (because it could be), and to do it sober.

tgirl

Keyweird, you rock!

Br00ksie

Your positivity and strength are an inspiration. Kick Cancer's ass! Sending love and prayers.

hayley86

Key...your strength and courage is amazing as always. You always make me smile and laugh in chat with your brilliant sense of humor. Sending you positive thoughts and love.

yoohoo

You can beat booze, you can lick cancer. Your a warrior!!!

Marcher13

Good on you Key for the 70 days.

Have you started drinking smoothies at all? You can pack a lot of veg and fruit into a smoothie and they taste great!

ImperfectlyMe

Key I have to selfishly admit its hard for me to read your posts, makes me breakdown

You have so much strength and wisdom it brings tears to my eyes. You are a remarkable human being with the tenacity, dedication and drive to fight this. All my love and prayers to you and your family! Keep fighting we are holding your hand

HeadLump

Thinking of you so much, Key

heath480

Thinking of you,sending hugs.love and prayers.

resolute50

Thank you so much for being here,key.
I'm so very thankful and glad the Lord led you here.
You are a huge inspiration!