13unluckyforsom

I'm constantly made aware upon reading peoples stories that getting sober has to include so much more than just 'not drinking' I guess I tried to be lazy in my journey and I thought if I simply 'abracadabra' now I don't drink that would be simply enough. It is so brightly clear to me now that it's not enough. My avatar picture makes me laugh because right now I'm not enough. I'm not enough for me to live in peace. So I think it's been pretty obvious I started drinking again - it was easier to get drunk and eff it all than to do the legwork. So anyway I've been reading online on and off all day in between 'stuff' lol i found this amazing site and I'm going to post a link in a bit once I get on the computer - it's a mountain of 'tools' that don't necessarily address addiction as such but they address us as people - people who so often don't reach our full potential in happiness - in love - relationships - work - ambitions - learning - everything - there is basically an article on everything - it's really helped me to have a slither of hope that I can live a life that's fulfilling and I can be at peace with sober. It's gave me a lot of perspective and inspiration that I'm in charge of this life - people and things are only able to make me feel things if I hand that power over. Right now I need to get my kids to bed but I will link up soon. If I'm allowed lol I think it should be ok. I hope it will be I think there are lots of people here who could really benefit from it.

Raider

I want to read it!!!

13unluckyforsom

http://www.the-secret-of-mindpower-a...mentality.html

You need to invest your time. Take time to invest in yourself and read this site like crazy! There's so much to read. They try and push book sales a wee but but just ignore that - there's hundreds of free articles and you can sign up via email too I hope this helps someone - I know it has been invaluable to me today.

jaynie04

Thanks so much 13! I agree, just "not drinking" is hell. I did that when I was pregnant and I literally counted the days until I could drink again. I do believe that a lot of us have issues that get all scrambled up because alcoholism and addiction becomes the most obvious one. And I think that's what sets us up to get in trouble because when we stop drinking the other stuff is still there and sometimes has been made worse by our drinking. Thanks so much for the link, I am looking forward to reading !!!

13unluckyforsom

Your very welcome jaynie I agree I didn't just wake up one day chuckle to myself and say 'hey pssst I've got a good idea - let's be a drunk and it will be so much fun' lol there was one simple underlying factor that allowed me to justify this pathetic excuse of a 'life' I've been existing in and that was unhappiness. I still take responsibility - I chose to drink - I chose drinking as my self help - I allowed it but happy people don't need alcohol to feel ok. I have to improve myself mentally to be able to sit WITH myself. I have to - as someone said to me this morning - and it wasn't even to 'me' it was to my beast my AV - be gentle with Emily. (You know who you are if your reading this and thank you as always - you should write an article for this site - honestly) It made me cry - I felt so out of control in that moment that I knew I had to 'find' something to get me through today. I found myself - I realised what I already knew I need to do to be myself. I have to retrain my whole outlook on nearly everything. This is me accepting that I'm not broken just bent (name the song lol) I am going towards success now and away from fear. You will understand that if you read enough on the site. Aaand I'm about ready to cry again at the magnitude of my honesty lol I think I cry from fear of failing - it's not an option - it can't even be allowed in the equation. This is it. It's decided. I don't drink and I'll never change my mind.

jaynie04

Just Give Me a Reason? I love that song, I mentioned it on a thread the other day!

jkb

Good for you 13-

I really liked the article. I discovered the same thing. For me personally RR was the answer but, only to the not drinking part.... Now what???? Kept popping up in my mind.

I started studying Buddhism and I am kind to myself. I am so happy you have decided not to drink anymore.

Jess

13unluckyforsom

I've always loved pink she is very real - this song is a landmark one though

13unluckyforsom

Same here jess - I know it's not about counting days etc but 27 days in I took a nose dive and I had known it was coming - I had predicted it with a little help from my AV we came up with this hilarious plan that 'we would just drink at weekends' and my partner - also hilariously agreed to this - his brothers wife also said it was 'ok' so my AV was stoked at this - oh he rubbed his hands together and he said 'vodka please' yeah - I actually don't even know how long we have been back in line with the AV - but he (mine is a he for done reason lol maybe I secretly hate men pmsl) has had his moment. It's my turn now

13unluckyforsom

Anyway my point was - (I get carried away and forget my point) lol my point was that I too love the RR concept - I need that simplicity - but I need to be fair on myself too and maybe strict RR people would say this is AV talk but I drank because..... X,y,z I drank AT everything rather than addressing it. It has to be addressed or I'm going to keep being the 'me' that allowed this. Does that make sense? Lol I'm worthy should be my picture - I am worthy of being bothered enough about myself to make the effort and help myself be 'ok'

andsolifebegins

Thank you for this post, this makes a lot of sense to me & I am just off to bed now to have a read of article x

13unluckyforsom

Thank you for reading my post I've burned bridges on this site - I have to accept the consequence of my actions drunk - I just want to offer an olive branch - I messed up. I guess I'm basically trying to help others for my own failings - I'm human and imperfect but deep down I don't mean to hurt. Foooook my AV is going mad 'Emily doesn't mean to hurt but she drinks to deal with her own hurt and in turn hurts others because she feels so bad' this dude is an absolute piece if work lol

13unluckyforsom

Bump lol we all need this

jkb

I think you have a wonderful attitude about everything. Not drinking was just the tip of the iceberg for me. Once I really go to the point that drinking wasn't my "automatic default" setting then all this other stuff came up. All the reasons WHY I drank the way I did. That stuff, for me, has to be dealt with.

I am trying everyday to become a person I want to be around. I am learning responsibility. I am learning to love myself and accept myself. I am learning to accept others and when I see fault in them look at why I am being so quick to judge them. I am learning that I have no idea who I really am.

Keep it up 13 and I am here for you anytime.



Jess

afloatsober

It is said that once we sober up, alcoholism becomes a thinking, not a drinking, problem.
I get this.
Once the cravings have gone, it has always been my distorted thinking or the manifestation of my most self destructive character defects (or both) that have eventually led me back to 'stop the world, pour me a drink, i want out!.
My plan/programme, whatever you call it helps me to begin, with help, to find a contented way to live in the world with others and without my need for alcohol.
Work in progress.......
G

13unluckyforsom

Bump for J - for a b c d e f g etc lol