jutam

On the 28th September I was 4 months sober! Life is sooo much better and its not been easy at times. Im finding that just because Im sober doesn't mean its all fairy dust and rainbows. In fact, I was thinking about drinking today... not letting the thoughts pass but indulging the thoughts, imagining, which is a slippery slope for me and anyone else in recovery. Sober reality means dealing with the consequences of the mess that was made in addiction and learning how to roll with things. I still get stressed and struggle.... like today. I don't want to go back, that life nearly killed me. But I need the reminder of how worth it this is, even on the crappy days, when my heart is just sore....

Remind me and everyone else why we just don't drink..... I need to hear it today

SkyeSea

The three S's... Shakes, Sweats and $hits.
The humiliation, stomach/rib pains, horror of wondering what you've emailed/texted/said
The 'lost week', where you're withdrawing...

etc...etc..

Doogie92

Because you wake up feeling guilty and ashamed that you drank too much. Maybe your puking or have diahreah. The worst for me is every time I'm hungover I am short of breath and feel like I can't breath properly. The exhaustion. The empty calories. The four months of hard work all down the drain. Waking up tomorrow without drinking feeling happy and proud, eating breakfast without being half drunk, knowing you have to face this horrible feeling all day, and maybe more. I just woke up and had a feeling like I want to drink tonight, so answering this post was like reminder for me lol I have seven days sober today. A drink sounds great. But a healthy productive life full of people who really care about me sounds better.

Nuudawn

Because it's a coma (and yes, there are definitely moments where that does seem attractive : ). Sobriety is living life not escaping it. Sobriety is growth and progress. Sobriety is manning/womanning up. Sobriety is more than hope, it is continuous progressive change and results.

Drinking is a temper tantrum and a cop out. Drinking robs you of reaching a place where you delight in REAL things like actual connection with others...actual laughter when something strikes you funny..the wonder of the sun in a blue sky that throws diamonds off the water on a warm summer day....

Sobriety is real. Drinking is an illusion. Stay real.

Congratulations on 4 months!! I'm right behind ya : )

GroundhogDay

Well said. I have twice recently found myself indulging in the thought of drinking. It felt dangerous. I also figured out I could control it. That is, I chose to stop indulging in those thoughts.

Mizzuno

Well, I do not drink because:
1) I can not stop once I start
2) I am Alcoholic
3) Lost job
4) Hangovers
5) Emotional issues
6) Anxiety
7) Energy depletion
8) Blackouts
9) Fear of hurting someone
10) Stability is gained when I don't drink
11) I LOVE myself
12) Im a great student and I dont want to screw up my GPA
13) Ive wasted enough time
14) My husband is the love of my life. He deserves a stable partner
15) Im training for a Marathon
16) I dont want to make a fool of myself
17) Alcohol will kill me
18) I am not depressed and will be if I drink
19) Throwing up is not fun
20) I love myself!

Tides

jutam:

First, congratulations on your four months. I'm three (months) shy of you... but reading posts from others who have gone beyond where I am now (like you), is always inspiring.

Why not to drink? For me, I'm terrified that if I do drink, even one night, it will open up the floodgates to the behavior which got to be so constant that I had to stop. I very well may be able to have one drink, may be able to contain it to one night and be done...for forever...or for a while.... But I'm just as likely to make excuses and resume the patterns and behavior consistent with addiction...gradually ramping it up, hiding the better part of a fifth every day, and then dealing with all the health/relationship/performance/mental collateral damage that comes with it.

For me, well, that's a pretty good reason "why not."

foolsgold66

Alcohol is poison without the skull and crossbones on the bottle. Do you drink things that have skull and crossbones on the bottle? Simple, but hey, I'm different.

I also have a list for you here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4172880

360shoes

The self loathing. I couldn't take it anymore. That's no way to live hating myself day after day after day after day. That was the worst for me.

No matter how hard life is sometimes it's still better than me hating myself.

Great job on 4 months! Keep moving forward. You can do it! Have a (((hug))) sometimes that helps me feel a little bit better.

digdug

I don't drink because I don't want to die. Simple as that. Sure, I also don't want to go back to the prison that was my life. The every day hell of withdrawal, isolation, health issues and emotional pain.

But most importantly, I don't want to die. At least not yet.

Yankee73

I don't drink because I just don't have another withdrawal left in me and I'm terrified that it would kill me this time. Or maybe die before I even make it to a withdrawal point.

I don't drink because if there's ever an emergency, I can handle it soberly, especially if I have to DRIVE somewhere.

I don't drink because this time, I got serious and did the research and the reading to make it sink in. I didn't stupidly think that because I stopped pouring alcohol down my throat, all would be well with my world. I became honest and honestly remember what my binges were like. I had to drink my breakfast to avoid withdrawal, my hygiene went to hell an I didn't sleep- I just passed out, woke up a few hours later, drank a little more and passed out again. That was NOT any way to live.

Doogie92

"Better to die fighting for freedom, than remain a prisoner all the days of your life"

Tamerua

Because sobriety Is so much better! I wake up on time, feeling alright, have a social life, face my fears, set boundaries, think highly of myself. What's not to love?

croydonlad

I was just thinking how my desire not to drink over my desire to drink is changing. I still would choose not to drink today over drink but my positivity towards it is getting less.

I came on here looking for inspiration and read this and just laughed out loud. I might write it down and keep it in my wallet.

Luckily, I am quite good at hiding when I'm drink when I'm not with people and knowing not to text them but the rest couldn't be more true.

pinkdog

Hi jutnam, 4 months is great. It's still early for recovery. I feel it is a journey. Dealing with one issue, then another. You will get to a point of peace and joy. Continue on. I'm over 3 years sober. I can tell you it does get better. If you want to remember why you quit, think about the last few times you got drunk. The sickness, shame and guilt. Life is so much better without those things. You can do this.