kerchief

So...I'm new to this format. i stumbled upon an online format but it was apparently based in the the UK. Nobody ever replied. But it still got me thinking about finding encouragement through others seeking sobriety. I did AA in the past, and I've seen a couple of posts mentioning pros & cons and I generally agree with both sides: the religious undertones can make some of us squeamish, but the "Higher Power" talk is just to remind me that I'm powerless. Anyway - That said, I don't have the time nor do I live in a great location for AA meetings. The ones in my town are always in the middle of the day. Otherwise I'd have to drive 20-30 miles after work. Schedule won't permit.

So I need something to help me out. I've been doing this 3 or 4 days of no drinking and then follow it by a binge-ing. On the one hand I'm glad I haven't been drinking as frequently, but when I do I'm an idiot. Trying to figure out best way to keep myself from drinking on the days I'm totally alone. I'm generally pretty good on the days I have my kids.

LuLu13

Welcome, Kerchief, this is a great place with lots of support. Spend sometime checking out the forums and reading. There is good information on recovery methods besides AA. Keep posting!

kadidee

Welcome to SR, Kerchief. You'll find a lot of support here. I know you can make it past day 4 this go round. Stick close by and read and post. Check out the 'September Class' in the newcomer's forum.

Dee74

Hi and welcome kerchief

If you live in the US you have access to a lot of different and varied recovery programmes...some are 12 step, some are not.

if there are no meetings nearby where you live, there's a good chance that any given recovery method has an online presence
here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

oh and one thing struck me from your post:

I don't do AA but if 20 years of drinking taught me anything it's that I'm powerless over alcohol.

I'm not powerless in any other way.
I reckon that's alll AA means by that

D

kerchief

Yes DEE74! Thank you. I meant to say powerless over alcohol. Not powerless in general.

foolsgold66

Well, you could certainly read and post for several hours on here on those alone days. This is a very active place.

jaynie04

Welcome Valhalla!

least

to SR! I'm glad you found us and joined the family!

firstymer

Welcome, kerchief. I am glad you are here.

crosscountry3

Welcome and one day at a time.................

Nuudawn

On the day I decided "enough", I sat down and wrote out a list of the things I could do instead of giving in to the urge to drink. Although I had tried AA in the past, I didn't want to return. Nevertheless, I wrote down "go to a meeting". I was willing to do whatever it took to ride out the urge to drink...even if that was simply sitting myself down at a meeting to simply "listen" for an hour. Posting here at SR was also on that list and that's pretty much the only item I have had to turn to : ). Reading books on recovery and spirituality has also been an integral support.

You are free to make whatever plan works for you....I just strongly suggest you simply make one. Welcome

Deckard

Great thing about SR: you will be inundated by genuine help, advice, and support when you reach out here. This site is almost too good to be true...

Welcome!

digdug

I think it goes a little further than that. It is a good realization that we as alcoholics are powerless over alcohol.

But I've also been realizing how powerless I am in other areas of my life. I am powerless over other people. I can't make them do what I want them to do.

I am powerless over some situations. No matter what I can do or say, it won't change that situation. I need to accept these things. That the world will not bend at my command. Realizing this has made it so much easier to deal with life in general. I know longer engage in winless battles in my life. I accept the situation or person for who or what they are and concentrate only on what I do have control over: myself.

Welcome, kerchief. I wish you the best finding a recover plan that works for you. SR is a great start!

foolsgold66

Powerless is just a negative word. I don't like it. I refuse to use it to describe myself or my actions. Doesn't work or help me in sobriety a whit.

I'm not an idiot, I accept that I can't change other people (at least in a lawful fashion ), only my reaction or actions toward them. That isn't powerless.

But we digress here.

-------

OP, I actually cherish and enjoy being alone for parts of my week. I don't want to be that way all the time, but I do like it. Does being alone make you uncomfortable on its face, or is it just that you don't have others expectations to live up to so you pull out the bottle?

stephnc

I was never crazy about the 'powerless' bit, either...deep down I just didn't believe it, and it wasn't the right way to 'trick' my brain into finding the right path to successful sobriety. It makes sense to me that we alcoholics might FEEL powerless until we finally conquer the compulsion to drink, but ultimately I think we all find that power within ourselves. Nobody ever literally forced a drink down my throat - I voluntarily picked up and drank each one.

I can easily accept the fact that I have no control over others, but the one thing I do have control over is myself.

pinkdog

Hi kerchief, welcome. I suggest staying busy. Give yourself other things to think about in the present. You came to a great place. Welcome.

hayley86

Welcome kerchief, glad you have joined us.