Acheleus

I'm sorry for wasting so many moments of the lives of people who have read my posts. I can leave you with this and hope it helps you. Goodbye.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hjPZpaXNsw

ReadyAtLast

Why are you leaving? Pleasedon't go, you're not wasting anyone's time.We are all here for support for each other.

I know you;re struggling and it really does get b etter,I promise you

Dee74

Kerouac was a great writer but I'm not sure he's the best role model for guys like you and me Ach

whats going on?

D

least

You haven't wasted our time. We care about you and what happens to you. I hope you won't leave. We want to support you in your desire to stop drinking. Stay here with us.

Nuudawn

Ya wanna die an alcoholic like Kerouac? Will that make you artsy and substantial? For crying out loud Acheleus. That's your hero?

You didn't waste my time. I guess you're going to go out and waste some more of yours. Such a pity. How bout you get out of your head and go look at life. Your a student of the word so go out there and look at it...try to help it. Go work with folks with a lesser pile than you. Maybe that will help.

Or you could just ...give up...like you're doing.

Be a hero in your own life..save yourself or don't. Choice is yours...and only yours.

warrens

Not a little self pity, but a lot. Reminds of one I once knew...

Warren

Kaneda8888

Hey A, I haven't posted to you a lot but I do read your posts. You're not wasting anyone's time and you are NOT a waste of time. It seems like you are struggling with solitude and depression a little. The bottle doesn't solve those problems. I thought it did for years especially when I lived overseas away from family and friends. All it did was make things worse to the point that I started to plan my suicide. I just couldn't see any other alternative. I hated my life, hated myself and thought that at least if I could have an 'accidental' death, my family could collect the insurance money. That is the alcoholic mind at work. By reaching out for help I was able to slowly crawl back from the abyss.

My life now is far from being a bed of roses. I am only in very early days of sobriety. I still have many issues to deal with. But, I believe I have the ability to face my problems, one at a time and one day at a time. It was only months into my program that I was fortunate to have a spiritual awakening that was totally unexoected

Have patience, reach out for help (there is no shame in that) and build faith in yourself. I am certain your outlook on life will improve. Hang in there

Alphabet

Big hugs to you. Stay with us <3

fancyfee

So did you drink tonight?

Tomorrow's a new day. You seem extremely bright and have your whole life ahead of you. Drink some water and try to get some sleep. Come back and post tomorrow!

Acheleus

Nuudawn....I think you get pleasure out of acting like you possess wisdom or some kind of experience that can benefit everyone else.

I have nothing left. I am glad that Nuudawn has the right to hurt my feelings.

Dee74

Maybe it's best to get log off and some rest like fancyfee suggested Ach?
Don't burn any bridges based on how you feel tonight.

D

longbeachone

Try to get some sleep. I think things will look better tomorrow. I want to talk to you tomorrow, please. I'll be checking in and out all day.
Longbeachone

lommey

sleep sounds like a plan. we are all in it together

warrens

Nuudawn isn't hurting anyone's feelings. She can't. She is offering sound advice. Experience, strength, and hope.

Stop thinking about what you don't have (self pity) and focus on what you do (gratitude). Start with being grateful for Nuudawn.

Best to you,

Warren

lorelei

Ach, hope you're sleeping now and will come back soon xx

hayley86

I hope you come back. You have not wasted anyone's time. You have lots of support and people that care about you here.

ScottFromWI

You would only be wasting our time if you cave to your self pity and leave Ach. Did you stop taking your meds again? Did you drink? Just tell us what is happening and you'll get through whatever it is. Romanticizing addiction is only for those who are already dead. You are very young and have a full life ahead of you, let's get on with living it well, ok?

sugarbear1

I hope you at least lurk here. I lurked for 8 years before I could stay stopped.

I will miss you, Acheleus. Please take care of you. Hugs & love sent your way

Mizzuno

I am not sure if you have taken notice with your cycle of behavior? It goes like this:

1) You get depressed and think of all that has ever been wrong in your life. This starts with your Mother and moves to your father, then your grandparents. You also think that you are a piece of trash. You are lonely and express the need for a relationship and think about your past relationship and how broken you feel from the demise.

2) You post of said depression and we rally around you to support you. We offer suggestions that we hope you will take to help you out of your self loathing. No words will ever do when you are in this state.

3) A few days go by and you decide that all of this sobriety crap is for the birds. You will now set out on your mission to drink, get drunk. You post a song for your departure and this time it is a writer who was horribly dis-eased with Alcoholism. (not really a great aspiration in my opinion)

4) We try to persuade you. "No Acheleus! Its not all that bad. Hang on here with us A. You are special. You are not a piece of Sh#t"

5) You leave to drink.

6) The next morning you come back here. You have made some kind of fool of yourself at the bar. Why did I do this? You ask. Why? The post is a post of regret and self loathing. You have decided to try sobriety again.

7) We are happy that you made it back onto the forum and we are happy that you are trying again.

8) Repeat 1 through 7.

If you start to participate in your life in a different manner, things may start to change. You have to make the change. NO ONE CAN DO IT FOR YOU A. Give back to this community that has offered you endless support. Start to support others. Do something different. Nothing will change if nothing changes. You are the common denominator in this whole equation.

DO you have your medications? Are you taking them?

(Please don't take your anger out on members who have supported you and who have seen all of this many times before. There comes a point when this cycle gets tiring. What did you expect?)

Hevyn

Ach, hoping you will return. This is so unnecessary. No time was wasted - you are worth every attempt we've made to help you - and there are more where that came from.