Hevyn

Ach, hoping you will return. This is so unnecessary. No time was wasted - you are worth every attempt we've made to help you - and there are more where that came from.

aasharon90

Compassion, care and understanding
speaks volumes. It's important for me
to have these 3 in my own recovery from
others. I share these 3 with you from
me.

Acheleus

I am sorry. I freaked out, did not know what I was doing. Scared of being alone. Need higher power.

lorelei

Good to see your name flash up Ach x

I know you're scared, but you aren't alone, dig deep xx

hayley86

Glad you are here. What happened?. Hope you are ok.

digdug

Have you tried praying for a higher power? I never grew up religious, considered myself an atheist, and had never prayed before in my life before I got sober. But it was suggested to me to just start praying everyday. Not knowing what else to do, I followed that suggestion. It's been working so far. Don't ask me why. I have no idea. But I'm of the school that if it works, I'm going to keep doing it.

Glad you're back and safe!

sugarbear1

You have a higher power. Maybe it's time to realize it.

For me, it took some practice to talk to my higher power. I had no idea what to do. I did it anyway and just talked then listened. Today, I am still practicing talking and listening.

Try it. I don't suggest asking for patience, though. My higher power has a great sense of humor.

With love & hugs,
~SB

Uninvited

Welcome back. I still suggest talking to your doctor ASAP

Nattythreads

Ach

Whether you need a higher power, some SR power or your own power you've got to stop lashing out mate. It doesn't do anyone any good and you spend an inordinate amount of time pushing people away.

I know you do this because deep inside you're scared of letting people down. You can't let people down on here - it's an impossibility. We've all spent years letting ourselves and other people down and our expectations are tempered by that.

We simply want to see you inch your way along this really difficult road and make progress. Every thought, wish and suggestion that is made is fueled by that. And you've proved you can to an extent if you just stop circling back on yourself.

Your greatest enemies by far it seems are lack of self esteem and self pity. Well guess what? You'll find people with Masters degrees in these subjects on here. But instead of verbally ejecting the very first "woe is me" on to the page, think about it before you write.

Think to yourself "I've been here before. What did I do last time to alleviate it? What can I do here?" Give it some time and then come back and post. If it's still bad, you've lost nothing during that short process and we"ll still be here.

Help yourself Achelus and we can help you.

Junegirl

You're spinning wheels, Ache. Been there, done that myself, so I get you. As someone said, it's time to make some big changes in order to make things better. You get to decide what those changes are. Please take a leap of faith and believe that things will get better if you take some different actions. Please stick with it, Ache. You CAN feel better. You CAN have what you need. I'm believing it for you till you can believe it, ok?

Hugs,

June

Coldfusion

Acheleus, one of the powerful things I learned in detox was that I was lucky to not be addicted to opiates. This post that I found here at SR shows some of the pain those addicts endure during withdrawal. It's one of the many fantastic gems here at SR. Here's an excerpt: I love the way this whole thing is worded.

[QUOTE=flappyD;2205930]**Ok, so it's your 3rd or 4th day off suboxone, it's 4am in the morning, and you are on the computer trying to find a way to get off this sh*t that your doctor said would be SOOOO.... much easier to get off than opiates....

...10. If you don't know God, this will be a great opportunity to find him. Dont want to force that on anyone but just a thought...

foolsgold66

Eff Kerouac, man. Be you. Life is not a novel, song, or poem. Stay, but please stop dramatizing everything.

Try talking about your real life experiences more. I think you need some friends to help with your overanalytic obsessiveness on negatives, and derive some more pleasure from normal interactions with other people. More companionship can help. What are you doing to make some friends?

warrens

Really good insight, Mizzuno. We addicts (of any sort) are slaves to cycles that must be interrupted. The only way to do so is to see, admit, and accept. Our issues have little to do with others around us. Our focus needs to be inward. It is us who are being ravaged by our addiction.

Thanks for illustrating what used to be my cycle of dependency, helplessness.

Warren

Acheleus

Having panic attack and going to hospital.

Coldfusion

Please be open and honest with them at the hospital.

Best wishes!

Hevyn

I'm glad you're seeking help Ach. We're with you.

FourSeasons

Good for you Ache... You are worth it!!

Freebird13

Acheleus, I am new to this site and really don't know your whole story, but from what I've read on this post, sounds like you are in a very deep depression and having a difficult time climbing out. I can truly feel your pain and heavy heart. I think people have to understand that severe, chronic depression doesn't just go away overnight, or by changing your attitude, or even with meds.

My stepdaughter, now age 20 has suffered horribly from depression the last several years. She has horrible self esteem, is very negative and self-loathing. We were all very frustrated with her and initially tried to booster her ego and give her encouragement, but eventually just kept telling her to "snap out of it." She was in and out of the hospital for one day to one week stays, put on meds, had intensive counseling, etc. Nothing was working! She started talking suicide and then when she didn't talk about it anymore and became totally recluse, that's when the family realized that she may actually kill herself--they intervened and had her committed for intensive inpatient therapy for 9 months. She is out now and seems to be doing well.

I got tears of joy and relief when I saw that you came back on here and didn't do anything to hurt yourself.

I'm not going to give you any advice--just wish you well and hope you get the peace and happiness that seems to be eluding you.

hayley86

Its good that you are getting help Ach. Sending you best wishes.

lommey

hope all goes well at hospital post soon and let us all know your ok