Janis

Today is Friday and the weather is perfect. I'm in a good mood and for some reason I have that dark cloud hanging over my head trying to convince me to drink. The strange thing is I really don't want to but I want to. I know that doesn't make sense but that's how I feel. I can only compare it to being hungry and not wanting anything that you have to eat. Very similar.

Just wanted to vent so I can avoid driving myself to the liquor store. Man, I hate suffering through this. I'm so much better sober but I'm also tired of these stupid cravings!!

Hope everyone else is doing well!!! Happy Friday.

Hypocritical

This is my first Friday. I understand. Stay strong!

Dono

ersatzmatriarch

makes perfect sense, janis... i've been in the exact same head-space for more than a week. i've just been writing (journaling) a lot to get through.

i have no answers for you, but i just wanted to let you know you're not alone. i have hopes that it'll pass...

13unluckyforsom

Fridays for some reason are always hard for me too - I've no intentions of drinking but the thoughts keep coming lol it's not so much a craving as its more of an annoyance like a lingering bad smell lol I dunno just tell that wee devil on your shoulder to do one! Beat it! Like a whiny child it drones on lol

ScottFromWI

They will get less and less frequent, and less and less strong Janis. When you think that you want a drink, remember all the things that come along with that drink ( more drinks, maybe even more drinks, maybe a blackout, definitely a hangover, definitely shame, definitely disappointment for knowing you shouldn't have but did anyway, possibly acting like a fool in front of friends or family, maybe driving drunk, ect, etc ). Is one little drink really worth all that?

Jeni26

Happy Friday to you too.

Fridays were always my hardest day. That voice telling you that you want to drink is your addiction. It lies. Hang in there, the voice gets quieter the longer you are sober. Imagine how good you will feel waking up on a Saturday morning, clear headed and ready to face the day x

13unluckyforsom

Actually it's really like a child you've given into trouble lol I dunno if you have kids but if I give mind into trouble for example and say 'no treats the rest of the day' oh my word the crying and complaining and tantrums that go on lol but it doesn't matter how much they complain I don't give in because it teaches them nothing then. Only that if you pester enough you will get your way.

Mentium

If I had a drink right now I would feel (apart from the guilt at letting myself down) great for about an hour, tops. A few more drinks and I would be drunk and finally I would fall asleep in a stupour.

Having drunk tonight I would have fallen off the wagon and it is very likely that I would do the same tomorrow night or the night after and very soon I would be back to two bottles of 14% wine each and every night. And in a few weeks that level of continuous consumption would have me feeling like hell. My nerves would be shot, I would be jittery and my concentration would have gone again. My stomach would be more or less constantly upset. And I would not be able to stop that roller coaster, or even take a night or two off until I got to the point I did three weeks ago when I planted a flag (metaphorically) and told myself to remember how bad I felt, not to ever forget that and to go to AA meetings until I felt secure in not drinking.


It's up to you though..

13unluckyforsom

It's hard to get through but eventually they get the message. No means no. And the same for your addiction could be true. Maybe if it helps to look at it that way for you. Just a wee example - actually just thought it through myself - makes sense to me as I've got kids lol

FeenixxRising

Believe me, it makes perfect sense. I've had the same argument with myself many, many times. But once you get some sober time under your belt, the fight with yourself diminishes greatly.

My advise is for you to find something to occupy your mind so that you're not having this internal discussion. Watch a movie, take a nap, take a walk, cook something. Or just keep posting here. Do anything that will get you through another day without drinking.

Each sober day brings more strength.

Janis

OMG!! Thank you so much. I read through those posts and really it helped. I appreciate those who can relate and those who helped play that tape all the way through. I would be happy for about an hour then drunk then sleeping then starting all over again because I had already started. And that little wine addiction would be right back and I would lose all that I had worked for.

I knew all these things and I knew that others were suffering but when you put real people and real stories behind that then that is what just changed my mind frame.

Thanks you

hippybeachbon

Wow, can I ever relate! When The weather is beautiful I often have cravings to drink, picturing myself sitting outdoors in the beautiful light with a fancy pink drink, umbrella & pineapple garnished of course! Now .......let's be real & play out the tape! I become sloppy drunk, beligerent, lie to my family about it, will most likely fall & get hurt then black out! If there ever was a slice of pineapple I probably threw it at someone!

Aiden1226

Yes, I know those want to but don't want to feelings. It's amazing the time of day these feelings can hit me. I am new to all of this but it almost seems the more I want to stop, the more I want to do it. I think to myself, "I can have a drink, what am I even doing thinking I need to join something because I THINK I have a problem. I am a grown woman and I pay my bills and go to work. I can have a drink and be just fine." But then I remember all the other times I have said those same words and did drink, and drink, and drink. I think i would drink more just to prove to myself that I didn't need anyone telling me not to. Crazyness!!!! And yes it's FRIDAY!!!! I am thankful that my son doesn't go to his Dad's this weekend because I would be left alone and those wants but don't want thoughts would be haunting me and I may not make it a week being sober. But I will make it! And seeing how long you have been a part of SR is an inspiration! Good Luck!!!!

Mentium

The addiction sets up wonderful fantasies. A terrace in the sun overlooking a wonderful scene in the south of France, say. A warm sunset. A light meal. A lovely glass of wine...

What a load of nonsense it all is!

The reality for most of us is the gut wrenching mental anguish that finally comes to get you.

freshstart57

If you are like me, Janis, you can have alcohol, or you can have a life worth living, but you can't have both. That is an acceptance thing. The way it is. We can twist our hankies over the reality, but it will not change things for us.

Once I accepted my truth, and then accepted that I would be tempted from time to time, things got easier. The temptation is nothing more, and it can't really make me do anything I have chosen to never do again. Cravings are thoughts that only have power over us that we choose to give them.

The cravings are like the weather. Outside of my control, but I accept the rain when it comes. It stops and I carry on.

Uninvited

I'm pretty much in the exact same spot Janis. I got this HUGE conversation going on in my brain about how much I want to drink versus how much I want to wake up sober tomorrow with no hangover.

Truefan08

LOL!!! I love this, so true! This weather reminds me of sitting on a patio w/ a nice glass of wine having fun w/ friends. However, that would turn into drinking a freaking vineyard! Then I would be off to the races...hiding vodka, lying, isolating, getting violently ill...etc etc etc.... Today I choose to be sober..28 days and counting!! Time to kick some addiction booty!

13unluckyforsom

So true! Violently ill springs to mind - couldn't eat - dry heaving in the bathroom till I was crying - constant sore throat from alcohol urghhhh and u made me Lol with 'drinking a vineyard' lol funny! Why did we ever put ourselves through that? Boggling mind!

Truefan08

LOL!!! I love this, so true! This weather reminds me of sitting on a patio w/ a nice glass of wine having fun w/ friends. However, that would turn into drinking a freaking vineyard! Then I would be off to the races...hiding vodka, lying, isolating, getting violently ill...etc etc etc.... Today I choose to be sober..28 days and counting!! Time to kick some addiction booty!

13unluckyforsom

Or worse - waking up with pineapple stuck to your forehead lol