4 days sober, my story and some questions.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New Carlisle
Posts: 16
4 days sober, my story and some questions.
I want to be completely honest here. My name is Amanda, I'm a 26 year old alcoholic... I have a four year old son. I've been drinking since I was 19. Not as heavily them, nor did I consider myself an alcoholic, but over the years, it's gotten worse and worse. I was completely sober from the time I was pregnant until my son was born besides one glass of wine on on new years. After he was born, I eventually started drinking again, but slowly. It's gotten significantly worse this last year. I started using it to cope and out of boredom. I went to Virginia to baby sit for my sister for two months. I was sober then and lost six pounds in a month and a half while not changing my diet. Towards the end of my stay, I slowly started drinking beer again but it didn't take much for me to get drunk anymore. When I came home, I started drinking more and more often until I am where I am now. I was drinking 4-5 tall boys, a pint or 2 bottles of wine a night at least five days a week. Considering I'm female, I'm worried I've done irreversible damage to my body, but I don't know. I never starved myself, I've always eaten and even more so when I was drunk. Not sure why I haven't gained much weight from it all. Anyways...
I've started hanging out at my boyfriends house. We got into an argument, both extremely drunk, while our son was sleeping. He smacked me so I threw a coffee cup at him. The cops got called and turned out his hand got cut open from the cup. He didn't press charges and he refuses stitches. It's a deep cut on the top of his wrist. I am not an angry person. I hate hurting animals, let alone other people. This have me a real reality check. Had this cut the other side of his wrist, he would have probably bled to death. I'm still very scared it won't heal right or something is stuck inside of it. I don't want to get in trouble for murder in the long run if something worse comes from his cut. It's a pretty deep gash and it did need stitches. I keep trying to talk him into going and he won't.
Anyways, I've been sober four nights, going on five. I barely think about drinking, except when I see a fruity, cold drink on TV. I always this, "That looks good." But it doesn't stick around. Don't get me wrong, usually I'd be pulling my eyes out four a drink by now, going crazy. I absolutely hate that feeling, but more and more is telling me that a lot of it was psychological, because now that I don't WANT to drink, the cravings are gone. I do want to drink, but I don't and that night made me realize what's most important. My son and mines life one night of drinking could have ruined it all.
Now that my novel is over, and I apologize for the length, I have a few questions. Can I expect to lose weight like I did last time? How do I know if I've done irreversible damage to my body?
I've started hanging out at my boyfriends house. We got into an argument, both extremely drunk, while our son was sleeping. He smacked me so I threw a coffee cup at him. The cops got called and turned out his hand got cut open from the cup. He didn't press charges and he refuses stitches. It's a deep cut on the top of his wrist. I am not an angry person. I hate hurting animals, let alone other people. This have me a real reality check. Had this cut the other side of his wrist, he would have probably bled to death. I'm still very scared it won't heal right or something is stuck inside of it. I don't want to get in trouble for murder in the long run if something worse comes from his cut. It's a pretty deep gash and it did need stitches. I keep trying to talk him into going and he won't.
Anyways, I've been sober four nights, going on five. I barely think about drinking, except when I see a fruity, cold drink on TV. I always this, "That looks good." But it doesn't stick around. Don't get me wrong, usually I'd be pulling my eyes out four a drink by now, going crazy. I absolutely hate that feeling, but more and more is telling me that a lot of it was psychological, because now that I don't WANT to drink, the cravings are gone. I do want to drink, but I don't and that night made me realize what's most important. My son and mines life one night of drinking could have ruined it all.
Now that my novel is over, and I apologize for the length, I have a few questions. Can I expect to lose weight like I did last time? How do I know if I've done irreversible damage to my body?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 821
Hi enembe,
I am glad you are looking to get sober. You would have to talk to a doctor as far as any damage done to your body. And as far as not being in a "real recovery program" that is perfectly fine around here. We all use different methods.
Good luck,
Jess
I am glad you are looking to get sober. You would have to talk to a doctor as far as any damage done to your body. And as far as not being in a "real recovery program" that is perfectly fine around here. We all use different methods.
Good luck,
Jess
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Welcome to SR,enembe.
Only a doctor could tell you if there has been any damage.
As far as losing wieght,I'm sure not having the extra calories from beer will definitley help.
Most importantly, what do you want?
Do you want to never drink again?
Only a doctor could tell you if there has been any damage.
As far as losing wieght,I'm sure not having the extra calories from beer will definitley help.
Most importantly, what do you want?
Do you want to never drink again?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
enebe - first welcome to SR. Second, congratulations on five nights (I assume days too) of sobriety. That is no easy accomplishment, you should be proud of yourself. Third, while the wake up call is good, don't beat yourself up. Your BF should not have hit you and you may want to make sure you are not in a dangerous situation/relationship. Cutting the wrist takes a while to bleed out so I doubt you would have killed him - providing you are somewhat close to help.
If you are serious about recovery (guessing that is why you are posting), a plan helps. Structured plans like AA and others have helped thousands of people find sobriety. There are several and one might fit your taste and SR can help augment these or provide the backbone for your support. I am sure you will find many posts, stories, and people on here that you can relate and will support you along this journey.
If you are serious about recovery (guessing that is why you are posting), a plan helps. Structured plans like AA and others have helped thousands of people find sobriety. There are several and one might fit your taste and SR can help augment these or provide the backbone for your support. I am sure you will find many posts, stories, and people on here that you can relate and will support you along this journey.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
hi and welcome.
it's very good that you are here and that you are trying to get out of this horrible mess of drinking.
i wouldn't worry too much about permanent damage. you are relatively young and human body is very resilient. (if you are really concerned then see a doc and have him/her run some tests).
and remember that many of the issues are reversible with good nutrition and exercise. not only that; it will help you to become happier, healthier and stronger.
as far as programs go, that's very much up to an individual.
the only way to stay sober, regardless of the path you chose is not to have a drink.
it's very good that you are here and that you are trying to get out of this horrible mess of drinking.
i wouldn't worry too much about permanent damage. you are relatively young and human body is very resilient. (if you are really concerned then see a doc and have him/her run some tests).
and remember that many of the issues are reversible with good nutrition and exercise. not only that; it will help you to become happier, healthier and stronger.
as far as programs go, that's very much up to an individual.
the only way to stay sober, regardless of the path you chose is not to have a drink.
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