Day 1 again ..
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
I agree. It is time to stop getting ready, and start getting to it.
All of us who got sober have been there, but stepped up and changed the things we did. The first and most important change was to accept that if we keep doing things, the way we always did them, we will always get the same results.
Getting sober has to be unconditional. We have to be willing to do whatever it takes. I hear a lot of conditions here from you. You want to get sober but you won't do that, or this, or something happened.
I did AA for the first three months and then when I didn't need them any more, stayed with just SR.
I also had a severe dislike of AA from being forced to a combined Narc and alcohol meeting by a rehab I quit over being forced to go to them, when I was self checked in and not under any orders. After being a senior leader I knew that since I was detoxed, if I needed to be restrained from drinking, then another few weeks of restraint would make no difference. What was going to restrain me was me. I wasn't conditional and had detoxed, and was done with both alcohol and tobacco. I had finally broken free from self imprisonment! I did not feel deprived, just that I survived. That was three years ago. Yes, I am different. I knew what I needed and that was my doc and family supporting me, and counseling but mostly here on SR where some of the AA folks told me to go try some other local meetings. I found a wonderful group that, combined with here, did the trick. I did not quit AA because I took issue with them. Just because I recovered.
No, I did not get a sponsor. I did not do the steps. I did it my way with their support. Just hearing others who heard me without judging was priceless.
I used the shotgun method. I used my docs, family, kids, counseling, in hospital detox, a few days of a rehab geared more to homeless vets than me, I had and have a nice home, and was taking up a bed when I did not need survellance and restriction, I had already checked myself into detox because I was through. Then fortune smiled and I found SR the night I quit rehab over forced meetings and not being allowed to wait at the rehab alone. Since I was trained and used RET therapy as well as Reality with those I counseled years before I became addicted to booze, I had already pretty much done the steps daily, see I got snagged at 45-58. I was successful and lost nothing, had no legal issues, and in the end isolated because I would not drink and drive. The only thing alcohol took was my self respect and my health. Thank goodness I could and did heal up pretty much. I am still amazed after years of drinking all day from whiskey in my morning coffees, to passing out at home safely, and smoking three packs a day, that there was anything left to heal. The only thing I lost was me. The alcoholic is gone. My issues are resolved as they were only the result of my drinking any stress or pain away.
So I have read what you've done, that hasn't worked for you, over and over. I too had many issues I could not fix under the influence, and those I did fix were poorly done, not good work, sane solutions. I had to take some pain sober but could fix what was fixable, and walk away from the things, situations, and people I could not fix.
Are you ready to stop getting ready, and start getting to it?
Are you willing to do whatever it takes?
Trust me, there is room in my world for another sober person and recovery.
All of us who got sober have been there, but stepped up and changed the things we did. The first and most important change was to accept that if we keep doing things, the way we always did them, we will always get the same results.
Getting sober has to be unconditional. We have to be willing to do whatever it takes. I hear a lot of conditions here from you. You want to get sober but you won't do that, or this, or something happened.
I did AA for the first three months and then when I didn't need them any more, stayed with just SR.
I also had a severe dislike of AA from being forced to a combined Narc and alcohol meeting by a rehab I quit over being forced to go to them, when I was self checked in and not under any orders. After being a senior leader I knew that since I was detoxed, if I needed to be restrained from drinking, then another few weeks of restraint would make no difference. What was going to restrain me was me. I wasn't conditional and had detoxed, and was done with both alcohol and tobacco. I had finally broken free from self imprisonment! I did not feel deprived, just that I survived. That was three years ago. Yes, I am different. I knew what I needed and that was my doc and family supporting me, and counseling but mostly here on SR where some of the AA folks told me to go try some other local meetings. I found a wonderful group that, combined with here, did the trick. I did not quit AA because I took issue with them. Just because I recovered.
No, I did not get a sponsor. I did not do the steps. I did it my way with their support. Just hearing others who heard me without judging was priceless.
I used the shotgun method. I used my docs, family, kids, counseling, in hospital detox, a few days of a rehab geared more to homeless vets than me, I had and have a nice home, and was taking up a bed when I did not need survellance and restriction, I had already checked myself into detox because I was through. Then fortune smiled and I found SR the night I quit rehab over forced meetings and not being allowed to wait at the rehab alone. Since I was trained and used RET therapy as well as Reality with those I counseled years before I became addicted to booze, I had already pretty much done the steps daily, see I got snagged at 45-58. I was successful and lost nothing, had no legal issues, and in the end isolated because I would not drink and drive. The only thing alcohol took was my self respect and my health. Thank goodness I could and did heal up pretty much. I am still amazed after years of drinking all day from whiskey in my morning coffees, to passing out at home safely, and smoking three packs a day, that there was anything left to heal. The only thing I lost was me. The alcoholic is gone. My issues are resolved as they were only the result of my drinking any stress or pain away.
So I have read what you've done, that hasn't worked for you, over and over. I too had many issues I could not fix under the influence, and those I did fix were poorly done, not good work, sane solutions. I had to take some pain sober but could fix what was fixable, and walk away from the things, situations, and people I could not fix.
Are you ready to stop getting ready, and start getting to it?
Are you willing to do whatever it takes?
Trust me, there is room in my world for another sober person and recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
AW I am sorry to hear of your slip. Is there something you can do next time to prevent this? I am not a huge fan of AA myself, but I have chosen other avenues to stay sober. I have faith in you. You need to have faith in yourself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 355
AW - I'm just going to throw this out there. I don't know your daily activities, but I'll share something about what flipped the switch for me. . . . Before I faced my alcoholism, I was very angry every day. I work a left-brain job, so I often have videos or podcasts running in the background. And I listened to stuff that made me more and more angry. And then I'd be so angry at the world and human beings in general, I had to drink to numb my memory of them. . . . One day, my daughter wanted to download some religious music and I helped her. I know you are not a religious person, but bear with me. I started to listen to her music in the background, not because I'm religious but because it was pleasant and positive and I was tired of being angry. Then I started to run inspirational videos in the background instead of stuff that made me angry. Within a couple of weeks I had an ah-ha moment with alcohol and I took on seeking sobriety. Stumbled a couple of times, but then I got into gear. . . . Again, I don't know where you are at right now, but if you are watching/listening and reading stuff that makes you angry, try searching youtube for "inspirational" videos. Spend a week avoiding the negative stuff and fill your brain with the words of positive people. . . . Made a difference for me. I wish you well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Boston, MA.
Posts: 1,756
Thank You all for the suggestions .. Seeing as I just woke up from a nap ; I will not answer each one seperatly at this time.. It has been apparent I do need counseling\outside help for awhile; problem being when your dealing w\ a shut in is I don't like to go out lol So as I said your suggestions are great and as for meetings; I have come to the conclusion they may never happen .. Never AA or NA; as for the others maybe down the road when I straighten out my whole being around people thing 
I respect all of your thoughts and encouragement but as I said there are underlying issues that I have that may need to be attended to first .. Which of course I am in limbo about my health insurance and SSI Bs that I can not try at the moment ..
I do get to say that after a long hot day 1; I am sober; and have made it through the day .. Day 2 is on my horizon and I work tomorrow night; finally :p So that is a push toward the weekend and will get me a string of days behind me for what will be a hectic week .. again TY All ..
AW
I respect all of your thoughts and encouragement but as I said there are underlying issues that I have that may need to be attended to first .. Which of course I am in limbo about my health insurance and SSI Bs that I can not try at the moment ..
I do get to say that after a long hot day 1; I am sober; and have made it through the day .. Day 2 is on my horizon and I work tomorrow night; finally :p So that is a push toward the weekend and will get me a string of days behind me for what will be a hectic week .. again TY All ..
AW
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by AugustWest11 
Thank You all for the suggestions .. Seeing as I just woke up from a nap ; I will not answer each one seperatly at this time.. It has been apparent I do need counseling\outside help for awhile; problem being when your dealing w\ a shut in is I don't like to go out lol So as I said your suggestions are great and as for meetings; I have come to the conclusion they may never happen .. Never AA or NA; as for the others maybe down the road when I straighten out my whole being around people thing
I respect all of your thoughts and encouragement but as I said there are underlying issues that I have that may need to be attended to first .. Which of course I am in limbo about my health insurance and SSI Bs that I can not try at the moment ..
I do get to say that after a long hot day 1; I am sober; and have made it through the day .. Day 2 is on my horizon and I work tomorrow night; finally :p So that is a push toward the weekend and will get me a string of days behind me for what will be a hectic week .. again TY All ..
AW
I respect all of your thoughts and encouragement but as I said there are underlying issues that I have that may need to be attended to first .. Which of course I am in limbo about my health insurance and SSI Bs that I can not try at the moment ..
I do get to say that after a long hot day 1; I am sober; and have made it through the day .. Day 2 is on my horizon and I work tomorrow night; finally :p So that is a push toward the weekend and will get me a string of days behind me for what will be a hectic week .. again TY All ..
AW
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Center of Mass
Posts: 622
Originally Posted by AugustWest11
Sorry to start another thread & all;
Back to day 1. That's day 1 of a life that will be well served. Keep trying. That's all any of us can do is to keep trying. There's no shame in getting help. I got my share that's for sure.
Hold tight and keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 345
Originally Posted by AugustWest11
when I straighten out my whole being around people thing
i really hope you take your sobriety more importantly than anything else - all this other stuff: SSI, Insurance, Night Shift, Mo-in-Law, Ex., just gets magnified when you're not sober. when i was drinking, going grocery shopping was overwhelming hassle.
and unfortunately, from your quote above your going to need at least one person, you can talk to, trust and "be around" - alcohol (the beast, satan, evil) whatever you call it wants to get you alone, isolated and by yourself, and we all know that is really bad for us.
i am still really proud of what you are doing, we all know it is hard
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Boston, MA.
Posts: 1,756
Originally Posted by happyhour
and unfortunately, from your quote above your going to need at least one person, you can talk to, trust and "be around" - alcohol (the beast, satan, evil) whatever you call it wants to get you alone, isolated and by yourself, and we all know that is really bad for us.
i am still really proud of what you are doing, we all know it is hard
The community and such on this site has "pushed" me towards realizing that maybe; just maybe I do need to deal w\ others just to get through this . Can't say it is a breakthrough or anything, cause I think I always knew that ..But can say that it is something I never wanted to accept ..
As for my well being; not sure how this will play out b\c it is all in the wind right now. I do not and never have trusted the government .. This is something that will not change .. But I can say that regardless of "their" decision; I do have a job that respects me and would love for me to take on more hours LoL It may hurt me and drag my body down; but it is a job and security ..
One of my biggest triggers; at least for now, I can and will get a handle on .. AS much as I seem to paint my Ex. in a bad light or such; she has been an angel .. if it was not for her & her kindness, I would surely be drunk or dead now .. That alone has been a problem\trigger for me .. I hate to rely on others and have always tried to avoid that ..
Before this gets to long winded; I just wanted to TY all again for your post & support .. Heading into day 2 excited and ready .. Will read more into ideas and such as the night goes on .. Again TY All ..
AW
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Boston, MA.
Posts: 1,756
I am trying to push forward Pink 
It's rough but am trying .. Actually might just go back to bed at this point :p Have workers coming to the house tomorrow; I work tomorrow night .. So might as well "bank" as much sleep as possible lol
It's rough but am trying .. Actually might just go back to bed at this point :p Have workers coming to the house tomorrow; I work tomorrow night .. So might as well "bank" as much sleep as possible lol
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Center of Mass
Posts: 622
One thing to remember, and I realize I'm not telling you something you don't already know, after 1995 a bunch of us scattered but we're relatively unchanged. It's like a continent broke apart and created lots of little islands. People with stealies in their eyes are everywhere. I hope that's not too obtuse ... it probably is.
I hope your sleep is deep and kind. Be well.
I hope your sleep is deep and kind. Be well.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,190
Originally Posted by Bruce292
One thing to remember, and I realize I'm not telling you something you don't already know, after 1995 a bunch of us scattered but we're relatively unchanged. It's like a continent broke apart and created lots of little islands. People with stealies in their eyes are everywhere. I hope that's not too obtuse ... it probably is.
I hope your sleep is deep and kind. Be well.
I hope your sleep is deep and kind. Be well.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Originally Posted by 13unluckyforsom
I'm lost.. am i missing some cultural point here maybe? Or something? I don't understand. I'm going to read again I'm probably too tired to be thinking lol
I'm quite exhausted myself too
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