ProgressNotPerfection

You can't make him quit anymore than he can make you quit -- but you can request - and it is reasonable - that he not drink around you, that he put it someplace you can't get it and that he support you by doing these things.

We always have choices - sometimes it is good to remember we can always sleep on the couch.

You can always go back to detox and work out a solution with the staff there as well.

Point is, you have more choices than just getting hurt, pissed and drunk.

This too shall pass - IF you stay clean and sober!

Mentium

Ariel - if your partner won't abstain while you are trying to quit one option is to find a local group - AA for example and go to that in the evenings - as often as you can. You won't have to tolerate a drinking environment then.

If you are already suffering health issues you do need to take serious action. Just accepting the situation with a drinking partner and the difficulty that presents as unchangeable won't do you any good in the long run. Your partner/friend must surely realise that this is a serious business?

winkmaster

Ariel,

Health issues also brought me to quit and I too used alcohol to self medicate. And I too have an "other half" that still drinks (and quite a bit to also self-medicate). Get a plan on how you can avoid the temptation - if you can leave the room or he leaves the room

See your doctor and ask for a full panel of blood work to be done. I have never done a detox so not sure how extensive they check.

Find out now is much better than later.
Good luck and best energy to you

Ariel22

Bridgeboo:

No, I can totally relate. If it's there I will drink it. He on the other hand drinks just as much as I do but doesn't "need" it. It's ridiculous. Where is my self control?????

Dee 74:

I have explained it but he doesn't understand. He says "If you want to stop, just stop. Why should I have to just because you do?" He doesn't get that it's a disease and runs very heavily in my family. I wish I could just "stop" but it is not that easy. I don't have any support outside of this forum, no. But it has helped me a lot to know that there are others out there that feel the same

Advbike:

I agree. I told him he was being selfish, especially when I had to go to the ER and when I got home it was right in front of me. He sees it as a sign of weakness but I told him that without his support I just can't seem to do it. Very very aggravating.

bridgeeboo2006

Someone passed this along to me yesterday and it put things in perspective for my Bf...

A smoker wudnt smoke around an asthmatic and respectively a drinker shouldn't drink around an alcoholic. My Bf isn't asthmatic or an ex-smoker and I don't smoke around him. Actually I can't smoke around anyone due to laws. I doubt we'd ever go back to the days of prohibition ..but it's ironic isn't it.

EndGameNYC

A "sign of weakness?" So what?

If you shake and sweat when a gun is pointed at you, is that also a sign of weakness?

Most relationships change when one or the other person is getting sober, often not for the better. This is not the time to give ground to your husband's selfish and derisive behavior.

Ariel22

Well, I have not quit completely but in the past three days I have had only "I know you guys hate that word" 1 beer right before bedtime just to go to sleep. I've surprisingly been pretty good all day and night although sleeping is horrible!!! Panic attacks, sweating, hot/ cold, etc. But I feel a lot healthier. I just need to kick that one beer out, but atleast I feel I am making progress compared to where I was

Ariel22

Question on vitamin supplements. Since cutting back I have been getting supplement crazy. Can anyone tell me if this is overload or a good regimin:

Taken Daily as directed:

Milk Thistle
HTP-Gold
B1
Folic Acid
Cranberry
Fiber
Guggul Gold


It seems like a lot but everything checks out as pretty healthy stuff.

Also, I took Melatonin to sleep when I was not drinking which goes either way depending on who you talk to whether or not it is bad for your liver. Does anyone have any experience with it. I need to sleep!!!

Thanks again everyone for listening

dwtbd

Great to see you are doing and feeling better!
For me , I'd have to get rid of the night cap beer too.
If Hersey Special Dark Chocolate was a vitamin I could maybe help, but pretty sure I'm disqualified in that respect.
wish you well

Dee74

Hi Ariel

Everyones different - what worked for someone may not work for someone else, or could even be dangerous, in some cases.

we can share our experiences but for any of us to offer opinions on your vitamin regimen would be medical advice by our rules and we can't do that.

Did you run your plan past your Dr at all?

D

ProgressNotPerfection

Indeed, you are. Three days is long enough though if the beer at night was "medicine" to help with detox - I have seen to this day nurses with a half can of beer for alcoholics in detox - it can be fatal. After three days, though, it isn't necessary.

I do want to say fantastic on the efforts you've made. Keep on Keepin' on.

SnoozyQ

Hiya Ariel , i have been thinking of you , ;-)

Let me assure you that the sleeping does get better as you progress along recovery. The vitamins etc are always good to go thru with your doc, cos its a funny ole thing, what you think is doing you good can often be doing the opposite as some medicines counteract each other.

Even a simple everyday vitamin can interfere with a prescription .

Glad you are coming in for chats , it really helps us all :-)

Looking forward to your posts and stages of your recovery cos you can do this xxxxx

Good luck

.

Ariel22

Thank you everyone for the support

Johnny152:

That was very interesting to know about the nurses in detox. I think I will skip the beer tonight

Dee 74 and Snoozy Q:

I really do need to run all these vitamins through my dr. or at least take different ones on different days. I took all of them this morning with breakfast and a huge glass of water and now have right side stomach pains that were not there yesterday. It's getting better though.

iSPAZ

Ariel22,
I am a codependent and have abused alcohol early in my years. Grew up in abusive alcoholic home and have battled with anxiety. I quit drinking when my XAW progressed to blackouts and twice found her not breathing. Divorce (her choice) was awful. I had a nervous breakdown but knew I had to pull it together for the kids. I attend Alanon and AA and have found much support there. People who have dealt with the same dynamics that have created the mess I was involved in. At the point of the nervous breakdown I had uncontrollable anxiety for 6 months straight. Went three months with less than one hour of sleep a night and would awake approximately an hour to 45 minutes after going to sleep in a panic attack and pool of sweat. It has been just over a year now since the nervous breakdown and I have very little anxiety if any. Still get depressed or sad some but hanging in there. I have done the vitamin supplements and they have helped very much. I read two books and consulted my Primary Care Physician. The Vitamin Cure for Alcoholism and the Mood Cure. Found them both on Amazon. Also I do work in DBT an CBT workbooks I got from Amazon. Sometimes I pinch my arm or pop a rubber band on my arm and ask myself which hurts worse the pain from that or the racing thoughts going through my head at the time. Sometimes I would go outside and just look at the wonders of nature. I even followed an ant around the back yard to see what he was doing and where he was going as it temporarily took my mind off things just long enough to get a little relief. You are a fighter or you would not be here. You are not alone as many people have been in the same boat and have made it. Hang in there!!!