Banquo

I've been 74 days sober now and at the start as part of my recovery I promised my family and fiancee I would go to counselling. I went once and enjoyed it. It was a group session and I was booked in for a one to one course. Now my place I'm going to is going through a restructure and despite of leaving messages no-one has got back to me.

Now the crunch, I've never, ever gone this long without a drink and have had little or no cravings. I'm absolutely determined to beat this now after loads of relapses. This site is a great help. Reading other folks stories in every stage of recovery is highly inspiring and informative. My family think I will go back to my old ways if I don't talk with people. Whilst I agree to a point, I'm talking and reading these forums and I'm a great advocate of the desire to stop comes from within.

Anyway that's my rant of the day over. And thank you to all of you. Everyone of us will help someone who needs it thanks to SR

sunya

I decided not to go to counseling. So far so good. 148 days and counting. Feeling pretty good. I use my tools from an intensive outpatient program i attended. Good luck.

neferkamichael

Banquo, 74 days sober? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations.

Badga

Hi Banquo

I was 14 years abstinent on my own, 8 years on the bottle, 3 months abstinent with AA, 3 months abstinent alone, 6 months on the bottle.......then I found SR, abstinent 7 days.

Prior to going to AA, I too went to counselling, but on a one-to-one basis (i.e., not a group). Counselling was a good place for me to release my emotions and to talk, but it didn't help me stop drinking. Hearing other alchoholics experiences and stories, is what helps me. Knowing that I am not alone in this. Feeling supported by other people who are like me. People who are on SR.

For me the talking to someone does not have to be on a face-to-face basis for it to work for me. I have also had a brief look at AVRT on the internet, which is a therapy one does ones self and is not based around group sessions. Personally, AVRT sits very well with me. In terms of talking to people, being on SR works fine for me.

Keep talking Banquo

MythOfSisyphus

Well, I can only speak for myself but I'm an adherent to AVRT. That particular approach doesn't advocate meetings and counseling at all. It may not work for everyone but it's worked for me. My meetings/counseling is stopping by SR every day. When I think about drinking I instantly recognize that it's AV/Beast Voice that I'm hearing, and I tell my AV to stuff it.

I think AVRT is akin to CBT. You learn to examine your motivations. In my case, when I think of drinking again I visualize the entire chain of events that will ensue, starting with my first sip and ending with me being right back where I was a year ago (ie failing health, social isolation, struggling to endure work, school and my life, depression, knowledge that I was digging my own grave, etc). It's easy to avoid that first sip...and I know it's impossible to avoid everything that comes after if I slip.

Dee74

Different things work for different people.

I didn't have addiction counselling but I needed some general counselling to deal with some stuff - it really helped me.

D

hypochondriac

I think people are capable of knowing how much support they need if they are honest with themselves. Personally I felt like I needed a lot of support because I had tried to quit on my own for years and couldn't do it. I tried counselling, AA, SMART, and of course AVRT, which was the biggest influence on me. I just needed more help with the emotional side of it. Thing was I think a lot of the time I thought I shouldn't need help or didn't deserve it. It is taking me a long time to catch on that there is no shame in asking for help if I need it.

I think your families anxiety over this is understandable. It may take them time to trust you again if you have relapsed before but that will only come with time. Maybe share SR with them too. This place has always been my biggest support. Well done on 74 days x

hypochondriac

This approach has a massive problem with meetings but it doesn't say you shouldn't have counselling just that you don't need counselling to not drink. Basically all your other issues are separate to your drinking problem and if you need help with them then fine, but don't think that you need to solve your other issues to stay sober.

MythOfSisyphus

An excellent point. I didn't mean to imply that AVRT is against all forms of counseling; I didn't make that very clear. Thanks for pointing that out.

I also feel that therapy is often useful for a variety of issues, although the trend is modern society seems to be towards trying to fix everything with a pill. Often (I think) the most valuable thing about therapy is the simple act of connecting with another human being. We sometimes lose that sense of connection nowadays. I guess that's what keeps me coming back to SR.

Mentium

I went to our local addiction support team a few months ago (a UK National Health thing). I have to say I found them very unhelpful. Their approach seemed to me to be about maintenance and damage reduction, and they weren't interested it seemed to me in assisting with an abstinence approach. I only went three times and stopped..and kept drinking.

I go to AA now, despite initial misgivings. It suits me as I think live peer support is what I need. So far so good at day 13.

Different strokes I guess!

Threshold

I have personally found SR a much greater help with over coming addiction than my counseling was.

Emily2002

I've been working on trying to beat this for 7 years, and have found SR to be the most helpful. Knowing that so many people "get it" and truly care, not just about themselves, says volumes. I've tried AA and OA meetings (for binging), too, but they don't work for me. My obsession with food and drinking/not drinking increases, and I ended up binging and drinking more than my "norm."

One on one counseling sessions during this time, have been crucial (in my experience) to working out some of my deep seated issues. I'm still working on these, of course. Most will never go away, but now I understand things a bit better. I think the mistake some people make with counseling is giving up too soon on finding the right "fit." My current therapist isn't my first. I've been with her for five years or so and she's the first I've really been able to connect with.

I think we all need to use the tools that work for us, personally. Even more importantly, persistence is key. It's all such a crap shoot in that we have to keep trying many different things as we change and grow, because what works for us one day might not work another.

As so many say here... if whatever you're doing isn't working, do something differently.

JUST KEEP AT IT!

IOAA2

Bingo! I feel that PERSISTENCE is the key to any program that fits along with complete honesty about our drinking. My honesty for me is the built in forgetter we have about our drinking experiences so for many years continued attendance at AA is my reminder when and where I see what happens to people who stop attending. Personally my need was to explore the reasons for my drinking and work on them and watch out for my triggers. Occasionally I get wondering what a particular drink tastes like, at which point the aftereffects play out in my memory and in less than a minute that insanity passes. BE WELL

DeltaBravo

Awesome ...74 days clean/sober!

I'm looking forward to "shopping around" for some services when I get back. I know that I've felt a great calm when I come to this site. Especially since I know the true moment of testing is near.

I going to hit up A.A. again and really TRY to make it work..rather than expecting IT to work..ya know?

Stay strong!

serenity333

I found counseling very helpful. She specializes in addiction counseling. She uses a method that incorporates the 12 steps. I'm finding that as we go through the steps, I'm learning more about my character defects that she can counsel me on.

It's probably not for everyone but I definitely need it.

serenity333

Emily2002

[QUOTE=Banquo;4165533]I've been 74 days sober../QUOTE]

WAIT!!! How did I miss this the first time I read your post, Banqo? D'uh!

Yayyyy!!!! That's simply awesome.

Thank you for your post, as it got me thinking.

Banquo

I am quite proud of myself to be honest. All my previous attempts have been half-arsed and I thought I could moderate. In that 74 days I have turned 40 and been on holiday to Spain. All without alcohol. Yay go me lol

nomis

Everybody has different recovery programs and what works for one person may not work for the other. AA isn't for everybody, that's life. Neither is AVRT, heck SR isn't for everybody.

I can only share what's worked for me so far. I used exercise and SR exclusively for 7.5 months and then finally got up the courage to go into counselling. Pretty silly really, as I would have never of had the courage to do that while I was still drinking.

Regardless, it was the second best decision I've made in my recovery, after deciding to get sober. I always felt like their were reasons I was an alcoholic, a symptom of underlining issues and all that. I was right, but in ways I never even imagined.

I understand my illness so much more now, after counselling, but that's me and like I said everyone is different.

Oh and BTW, CONGRATULATIONS on 74 days!!!!!