returning
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 21
returning
I'm back. I was happy to be in denial for the last couple of months. Denial let me drink whatever I wanted. And apparently I wanted to drink a lot...
My drinking is getting out of hand again. Its turning me into a monster. Its making me become someone I don't want to be.
So here I am at 5 in the morning, trying to put together the pieces of what I did last night. What I said to my poor wife. How she can put up with this I don't know. I can barely put up with myself.
Venting on here does make it better. It feels good to say those things that I stuff down inside of me. Things like, can I enjoy life without alcohol? That's a real question for me. Will life be so dull that I can't stand it. I guess that says something about how I approach life and what I get out of it. I'm starting to think that my approach is shallow.
I just noticed the link to the gratitude list. Perhaps that will help me gain some perspective.
My drinking is getting out of hand again. Its turning me into a monster. Its making me become someone I don't want to be.
So here I am at 5 in the morning, trying to put together the pieces of what I did last night. What I said to my poor wife. How she can put up with this I don't know. I can barely put up with myself.
Venting on here does make it better. It feels good to say those things that I stuff down inside of me. Things like, can I enjoy life without alcohol? That's a real question for me. Will life be so dull that I can't stand it. I guess that says something about how I approach life and what I get out of it. I'm starting to think that my approach is shallow.
I just noticed the link to the gratitude list. Perhaps that will help me gain some perspective.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi elp. "those things that I stuff down inside of me. Things like, can I enjoy life without alcohol? That's a real question for me. Will life be so dull that I can't stand it."
You might ask how life will continue WITH alcohol. Wife and children gone, loss of job can equal no house, car etc, shame, increased drinking, perhaps passing out and/or living in the gutter daily, hospitalizing sessions including mental hospitals and on and on. Would that be considered fun and not dull?
To avoid that outcome the answer is simple, we just don't drink AND life can become a time beyond our wildest expectations IF we let it. BE WELL
You might ask how life will continue WITH alcohol. Wife and children gone, loss of job can equal no house, car etc, shame, increased drinking, perhaps passing out and/or living in the gutter daily, hospitalizing sessions including mental hospitals and on and on. Would that be considered fun and not dull?
To avoid that outcome the answer is simple, we just don't drink AND life can become a time beyond our wildest expectations IF we let it. BE WELL
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back elp. There is definitely life to enjoy outside alcohol. You just have to give it a chance. Can you honestly say you are enjoying life now? It will get worse too, the only variable is how bad and how fast you dig towards the ultimate bottom.
Have you tried any organized recovery methods before? Perhaps it's time to give one a shot...
Have you tried any organized recovery methods before? Perhaps it's time to give one a shot...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
True story about it getting worse. Your sober life will suck if you want it to...or you can do what you need to do to make it...well...whatever you want it to be. If you want it to be fun and adventerous make it so. I think the key for many of us (especially me right now) I KNOW I'm not strong enough to take on certain life triggers. I am not willing to lose my sobriety. So for NOW, I am being a little more isolated and quiet than I want to be. Frankly I think you are worrying about something that you can't fathom right now. Wait until you get some time behind you....then take on this issue. For now work on getting STAYING sober. That is the first order of business.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Sober life will be what you make up your mind that it will be. I went through the same when I knew that the time was nearing. As much as I wanted to deny it I knew that there was going to come a day that I had no choice and then the typical questions came flooding in.
How am I going to hang out with all my friends? It's not going to be any fun anymore!
There are weddings and events that are coming up, I won't be able to drink, they're not going to be any fun!
Life is going to be boring, what am I going to do when I used to drink? It's not going to be any fun!
Read my signature line. If you develop a plan and stick to it you'll soon find out that what you previously thought was fun really wasn't. It was just situations that gave you the opportunity to drink. Was last night fun? How fun is it this morning waiting to find out what you did? I've been in those shoes many times!
If you plan on sober life being you just sitting around lamenting that you can't drink anymore that's what it will be. If you make up your mind that this is for you, that you can do it, and develop a plan then it's going to be easier. There are tough times, no doubt about that. This place is invaluable to your effort.
I am at 97 days now, 14 full weekends with no alcohol. If you told me that I would spend an entire summer not drinking I would have told you that you were insane. I sit here today and can tell you that getting through every craving and the work that I have done is well worth where I am. I wouldn't give back one day.
Let's start with this. Do you and your wife go to the movies? My husband and I have a date to go to the movies every Friday night. I've seen more movies in the past 14 weeks than I have in the past 10 years. That's a small part of my plan. In the beginning I would still think about the fact that I wouldn't be drinking on Friday. That's not even a part of the thought process anymore, I look forward to going to the movies.
This can be done and your life will be better. It's all up to you
How am I going to hang out with all my friends? It's not going to be any fun anymore!
There are weddings and events that are coming up, I won't be able to drink, they're not going to be any fun!
Life is going to be boring, what am I going to do when I used to drink? It's not going to be any fun!
Read my signature line. If you develop a plan and stick to it you'll soon find out that what you previously thought was fun really wasn't. It was just situations that gave you the opportunity to drink. Was last night fun? How fun is it this morning waiting to find out what you did? I've been in those shoes many times!
If you plan on sober life being you just sitting around lamenting that you can't drink anymore that's what it will be. If you make up your mind that this is for you, that you can do it, and develop a plan then it's going to be easier. There are tough times, no doubt about that. This place is invaluable to your effort.
I am at 97 days now, 14 full weekends with no alcohol. If you told me that I would spend an entire summer not drinking I would have told you that you were insane. I sit here today and can tell you that getting through every craving and the work that I have done is well worth where I am. I wouldn't give back one day.
Let's start with this. Do you and your wife go to the movies? My husband and I have a date to go to the movies every Friday night. I've seen more movies in the past 14 weeks than I have in the past 10 years. That's a small part of my plan. In the beginning I would still think about the fact that I wouldn't be drinking on Friday. That's not even a part of the thought process anymore, I look forward to going to the movies.
This can be done and your life will be better. It's all up to you
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