jdooner

6:30AM not hungover - my son just woke-up and wanted to watch Handy Manny and eat some eggs.

I have an 8:30AM tennis match with a fellow alcoholic and I am really looking fwd to the discussion. I feel proud that I have stayed sober for 6 days and there are not many people who understand other than an alcoholic.

I plan to tell my family about my disease. I am getting the sense this is sort of like coming out of the closet. More people would prefer you not tell them yoru an alcoholic - seems it makes other uncomfortable.

I like the post about how you would not feed peanuts to someone with a peanut allergy - but when you mention you can't drink others look at you like a solcial misfit. Perhaps this is bc alcohol has become engrained in our society for socializing? Sorry for the tangent.

For those that have read some of my post will see I have been on an emotional roller coaster. 4-9PM seems to be my toughest timeframe. I am choosing not to drink and am strong enough to get through this. I hope things get better/easier bc it feels like a daily struggle.

I am shocked at the power alcohol has over my mind. I have never tried a drug that has had this same power an effect. While I love coke and would probably do it if put in front of me, I do not have the same urges/desires as I do alcohol. As such, I feel alcohol is the most addictive drug I have ever used.

My marriage is a another issue that I need to deal with. MY wife is currently in Nappa and has said she intends to quit this week. I am hopeful this is true and look forward to supporting her. If not...well, I hope she decides to quit.

IOAA2

Congratulations for sticking with it. It should get better each day. Your difficult time for not drinking was mine also. At a meeting someone mentioned eating sweets and drinking a lot of fluids during this period because we are probably thirsty and that alcohol was feeding us sugar so we needed a replacement source. Seemed to work for me except I almost got addicted to B&J! BE WELL

Ornithology

Thanks for your post jdooner. It is my Day 6 as well.

FourSeasons

I think it is because alcohol is all pervasive. It is everywhere. It is ingrained in all we do. At least it is for me and in 95% of all my social and professional interactions. Whereas, coke is illegal and hard to get; alcohol is readily available anywhere. Triggers abound!!

Plus, I never got into coke, thank-god! I tried it once in college. I paced back and forth for 5 hours pleading with God to not let me die. I wish I had this same reaction with alcohol when I first gave it a go!!!

Congratulations on your Day 6. Having one full week down is right around the corner for you! Stay strong!!

not2late

Hi jdooner day 6 for me too. Since I am trying to recover from this hell for the past 5 plus years it is amazing how alcohol is everywhere you look. The reminders are constant meaning the battles are constant. It's tiring..but we have to fight the battles to win the war.

jdooner

Thanks for the messages - for me its been a battle over the past 20 yrs. It is progressive so the last 9 months have been the worst. I have been highly functional (professionally at least) during this period, which allowed me a crutch.

I tried coke for the first time three years ago in a strip club in NYC. I had abused ritalin and adorall for many years and this simply was great. I lost a lost of money in these clubs. I love the drug, personally. I just can't handle it as with alcohol. I am OCD type A and like to push things as far as they can go and sometimes a little more.

My life is a bit of a mess but picking up the pieces. Had a good tennis match with a friend who is an alcoholic and used to run a recovery center. I am going to go to an AA meeting tomorrow. He suggests the surrender aspect of the program - I am not a religious person but the support system seems logical to me. I have found that admitting my problem out loud has been cathartic and also makes it more difficult to relapse. If everyone knows I am an alcoholic then I let people down by not being sober - my current thought process.

Told my parents I am an alcoholic and beginning treatment - they were not surprised - my mom agrees I got it from her side of the family - lol.

My marriage is a disaster and I am not sure how things will turn out - my wife is much more advanced in her disease than I am. We are co dependent on each other, which equals an unhealthy relationship. I am scared about how this all turns out but agree its probably better than the path I was on.

firstymer

Day 6 here, too, jdooner. My first sober weekend (so far) in 20 years. I haven't told my family that I am an alcoholic. Am naive enough to think that maybe they don't know. Odd, isn't it that we are able to admit it here, and have such trouble telling the people we love? For me, part of it is that I don't want to tell them I am trying to stop drinking, only to have them see me fail. Good luck to you and to the rest of us. We are all in this together. I intend to stay very close to SR. I hope you will too.

jdooner

firstymer - I felt a big relief telling my parents (at age 39) and admitting I am an alcoholic. In fact, I like the pressure that I will be letting not only myself but the people around me down if I relapse. I have quit and and off before over the past 20yrs and done the 12 step program before. The difference this time is hitting a bottom. I stopped for 28 days last October but then hit it harder for past 9 months and introduced drugs into the mix too.

Last weekend at my brother's wedding, my wife got blackout drunk, hooked up with some 25yr old kid openly at the wedding and I ended up putting him in the hospital. He will never see out of his right eye I am told. This is my rock bottom - I quit Monday August 26, 2013.

I am here for you if you need anything even if its a chat buddy at 3AM (insomnia comes and goes for me). I am off to the pool with the kids. BTW - I am going to try loading up on sugar during my witching hours 4-9pm to help curb the desire.

CuteNGayYay

Day 6 here too man. Thanks for your post and I hope everything works out for all involved. Stay strong this long weekend.

Dee74

Congrats on day 6 JD

I had a mess of a life too - the only way to put things back together is one piece at a time, one day at a time...

I'd try not to do too much 'fixery' right tho - focus on yourself and your journey....

just not drinking was a pretty big ask for me for a while.

D

Anna

My thoughts and prayers go out to this young man.

I'm glad you have stopped drinking.