I won't be me if I get sober..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: California
Posts: 11
I won't be me if I get sober..
I want to quit everything. Including cigarettes and alcohol, but I feel like if I do I'm not going to know who I am. Everyone knows me as the party girl the girl that's always down to get high on whatever is available. The girl that has the connections and is always down to party no matter what. If I don't have drugs and alcohol I won't be me anymore. I've been this way for years and I don't remember how it feels to not get high and just live life 100% sober. I just don't know anymore.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
You actually have it reversed, but the alcoholic inside us does that a lot. Right now, you are your addiction. The real you can't get out until you get sober. It's initially tough, but well worth it. You'll also find that the majority of people are not "partiers", in fact there's way more to do and see sober. I wish you the best of luck if you decide to give sobriety a try.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Stellabb
I had my identity defined by my drinking and drugging too - but there was another me, before the drinking, I kinda forgot about.
It's been really good to get to know that real me...sure there's been changes in my life, but I don't think I lost out on the deal...
I dunno about you, but my drinking life was not very enjoyable by the end, anyway.
D
I had my identity defined by my drinking and drugging too - but there was another me, before the drinking, I kinda forgot about.
It's been really good to get to know that real me...sure there's been changes in my life, but I don't think I lost out on the deal...
I dunno about you, but my drinking life was not very enjoyable by the end, anyway.
D
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 737
I used to think that people saw me as a 'party girl' - dancing, drinking, having fun.
What they actually saw, was someone clinging onto her student days - dancing like someone's embarrassing aunt, falling off the stage at the local rock club (in full view of everyone) and acting like a complete a$$hole.
What they actually saw, was someone clinging onto her student days - dancing like someone's embarrassing aunt, falling off the stage at the local rock club (in full view of everyone) and acting like a complete a$$hole.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 355
In your first post, you mentioned that you were 17. You have unlimited potentials for "new you"s that you can explore. And there is an "old you" who has been quashed by the drugs for years. . . If your current circle of friends don't think you are fun anymore, so what? The progression of addiction gets uglier and uglier, and **so** un-fun. You'll find new friends who love whatever you become when you are not just a doped up party girl. (If you don't mind me putting it that way.) Even better? YOU will love you. . . You wouldn't be here if you weren't looking for a fresh start. You know addiction will slowly destroy your life. You are so much smarter than I was at your age. . . Read, explore, sign up for free classes in whatever oddball hobby catches your fancy. Then drop out and try another. Join a recovery group. Keep reaching out. You're on the right track.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Sorry, I didn't realise you were so young Stella.
Alef is right - there's so much opportunity for you, so many chances for you to not only discover who the real you is, but to also be whatever the heck you want to be.
Sobriety is not the end of the journey, it's just the beginning
D
Alef is right - there's so much opportunity for you, so many chances for you to not only discover who the real you is, but to also be whatever the heck you want to be.
Sobriety is not the end of the journey, it's just the beginning
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: California
Posts: 11
It's just such a hard decision. Reading your comments made me cry because my mind is just so warped right now. I'm afraid of being sober. I haven't been 100% sober for 24 hrs in years. It's easier to keep doing drugs than try to quit and fail. So much running through my mind. Thanks everyone for your support and advice <3
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 737
Stella - I too didn't realise you are so young. You know, you have a whole life ahead of you and a big wide world to explore. You can be absolutely anything you want to be
I have a daughter your age and I still remember from being 17 myself, the pressure to 'fit in' etc. Someone makes the rules of how to do that - 'fit in' I mean - how about you making some of those rules? How about working on getting yourself free of substances and helping others to do the same? In fact, at your age, the choices are endless as to what you can do with your life.
Wipe those tears Stella and keep on reading and posting. You're not alone anymore with this.
Hugs to ya! x
I have a daughter your age and I still remember from being 17 myself, the pressure to 'fit in' etc. Someone makes the rules of how to do that - 'fit in' I mean - how about you making some of those rules?
How about working on getting yourself free of substances and helping others to do the same? In fact, at your age, the choices are endless as to what you can do with your life.Wipe those tears Stella and keep on reading and posting. You're not alone anymore with this.
Hugs to ya! x
Work in Progress
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,142
Wow I didn't know you were only 17 either. Change now. Please. At 17 I was a party girl. By about 23 I was an addict. By 27 I lost everything. You are smart and amazing. There is nobody like you in this entire world. Show the world how amazing you really are.
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