hopefloats456

Never really drank until I started working as a nurse. The stress of the job ruined my life . 8 years later, I've lost my husband, my sons, and everything I've ever owned. Guess I just wasn't cut out for this. Started drinking to numb myself, chain smoke too, in hopes that death will take me away from my sadness. I have been a failure, so how does one find any motivation to quit it all? I'm in the "want to quit" stage but am afraid to feel life without my crutches. Family and friends have all been pushed away. How does one find the strength to go it alone??? Please help..

mecanix

Hello and welcome to SR hopefloats ,

You're not alone , we're all here, all at various stages of the sobriety journey .

Lots of good advice and info to ask and read on the forum .

For me alcohol was a way of avoiding issues rather than dealing with them , life is a lot better sober for me

Bestwishes, m

ZoeM

Hi Hopefloats and welcome Nursing was part of the reason I started drinking as well. Never really drank until my 30's. Things DO get better! We tend to see the future through the eyes / alcoholic thinking, that we are in, in the moment. As time passes, you'll see a whole new future and brand new opportunities to make things right.
Well done for finding and joining this forum - you will never regret it x

hayley86

Welcome to SR hopefloats. You will find lots of support and advice here.You are definitely not alone with how you are feeling. I lost lots of things in my life because of alcohol. Many of us have used alcohol as a crutch and a way to cope with life. You can learn new coping strategies which will enable you to live a happy sober life without it.

Getting sober was the best decision i ever made. Reaching out here is a great first step. Today can be the start of your recovery and getting well. Wishing you well.

IOAA2

Congratulations HF for your dedication and service. Boy can I understand the stress involved in being on the front lines as you've been. My wife was there for too many years as a great patient advocate and that got her into jams but acting like a DI she usually got what was needed except for her sanity for years. Your industry has changed too much for her to continue with it's primary goal today of $$$$$. She keeps dreaming of a job of folding sweaters at a store. Hopefully you are still thinking clear enough to perhaps write down your options and study them honestly. There is good info here as well as a lot of helpful people as well. I found myself at AA many years ago and finally got sober with their flesh meetings. For some that's a no no as fear and ignorance enters their clouded minds. If one desires they can just attend meetings not giving their name or just saying “I Pass” is common. Try to remember that nothing is required at meetings, no musts, just a desire to be sober. And it works if we work it. Good luck

hopefloats456

Thank you for that. I've been going to AA meetings for 3 days now and have 3 days without a drink. It feels awkward to be there, but I enjoy the stories. Funny, I have been dreaming of quitting my job to file books at Barnes and Noble or something. They say the best nurses tend to hit burnout more often than others, so I'll take that compliment. Now searching for tools to not end my career from it all. Maybe just time for a change. Anyway, thanks again.

heath480

Welcome to SR and congratulations on 3days sober.I was also a Nurse,there are a lot of us about!

Keep going to the meetings,it can take a while to feel comfortable in them.

Wishing you well.

firstymer

Welcome, Hope. I am new to SR too. 4 days sober. 4 days on SR. Mechanix is right. You are not alone. I have been on this site so many times in the last 4 days that I have lost count. The support I have felt here is the only thing that has kept me sober. Good luck. Stay close. We are all in this together.

Lightning Bug

Great Job!!!

wakko

Keep doing what you're doing it is working. For me daily meetings were essential in early recovery

Afloat

Hi, and three days is an achievement to be pleased with.
I can't tell you the number of nights I've prayed I would never wake up or the number of times I've hoped that the drink would kill me and soon. I used to think I was a depressive because why else would I have those thoughts?
I have spent the last 40 years in and out of really low periods where only a quick end seemed the best thing.
A feeling of failure goes with the territory for a lot of us, we have after all, failed to stay off the drink and failed at our resolve to give it up. BUT so much of it is because of the alcohol - well it was for me - I'm coming up to two years sober and during that time I haven't had a single suicidal thought, I believe my body has more or less healed itself and I am, at last, trying to be positive about the future.
You might see that I joined SR about two years ago! and although I haven't contributed much, I couldn't have done this without reading the posts and advice here! It works - Hang in there, please.

huntingtontx

Congratulations on three days. The first part was the hardest for me. I am a little less then two months now. I could not have done it without SR. Keep coming back. You will find support and advice here. I am so glad you joined us. We can do this, one day at a time.

hawkeyefan

I completely understand!! After 26 yrs. as a nurse I started drinking more than socially and quickly self-medicated myself to a full-blown alcoholic. It was the stress, seeing horrible accidents, and heartbreaking illnesses that caused a depression that I ignored. The alcohol only worsened it. After several times thru tx, both in and out patient, I'm once again on trying to remain sober. Like a lot people here, I am so happy when I string months of sobriety together, but then I "pick up". Luckily I did not lose my husband or boys but I did lose a job and all my self-respect. I start all over again..10 days!!

hopefloats456

Thank you

pinkdog

Hi hoapfloats, alcohol is a depressant. Life is easier without the depressing effect. Look forward to a healthier, happier life. That was my motivation. It's true. Very best wishes to you.

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome, Hopefloats! Hang in there, it gets better. Today is one year sober for me. Up until I put down the bottle I genuinely didn't care if I lived or died. In a way, quitting was a kind of symbolic suicide. I figured, what do I have to lose? If life doesn't improve, I will still have all the options I have now.

Maybe you need to make a break from everything in your life that doesn't work. If that doesn't fix anything, at least you tried- and you'll be no worse worse off than you were before.

SR is here for you. I can't describe how huge that's been for me. I think it can help you, too!