360shoes

I don't do any program Sorensen other than I don't drink. As far as alcohol goes, some people don't drink too much of it and some people do. Those who do generally have problems. I was one of the ones who drank too much of it. Not all the time but most. It caused me problems. Not the worst problems possible but enough where I was sick of the ones it caused.

I'm not the smartest person in the world but I'm smart enough to know when something isn't working something has to change. My bad hangovers caused me problems and I knew exactly what was causing them.

Just me but the quiting wasn't all that hard. The staying quit is a different story. I had to actually start working on creating the life I wanted and that's almost a full time job. A rewarding one but work none the less.

There are many ways for people to quit drinking. You will find yours if you search for it.

ZoeM

Sorenson, I was a biker chick and the guys couldn't drink (much), so would have blackcurrent and lemonade a lot of the time. I don't remember us not having a great time

360shoes

You do have a good point Sorensen. I've known people who drank and partied in their 20's but then grew out of it. Some people do. The only thing is I don't recall that any of them got married, or had kids, or got that great career while they were still doing it. The ones I knew stopped partying and then went on to build their life.

Amajorityofone

Friend-

I've never been to a AA meeting, or read the AA big book. Truth be told, I have no idea what the organization is all about, but I very much believe in God and that he has a plan for my life. I'm currently on my 363rd consecutive day of no drugs, no alcohol, no cigarettes, no gambling, no nuthin. Just food, water, and my seemingly unbreakable addiction to cherry coke.

Something to think about.

Good luck and God Bless

Nuudawn

Sorenson...I'm actually a bit unclear as to your decision to drink or not. I may have missed something as I'm awfully tired.
If you decide to travel sober road, I think the road is way easier to navigate with friends, wisdom and guidance along the way. We are relational beings and it's nice to have the company of those walking the same path...wherever you may find them. Although I do not utilize the program of AA at this time, lot of good stuff happens there. And I am grateful for its existence. Their mandate is to help people stay sober not persuade you to come live in their commune and have your offspring mate with their charismatic narcissistic leader. Sorry I just had to say something bout that cult comment...
I know for me the desire for sobriety made me willing to be open to anything in order to achieve and maintain that sobriety. There are many, many sources of support out there. I get so much from this forum..words can't express. But there are other pieces of my recovery as well.

I was not physically dependent on alcohol. And sometimes I could have just a glass of wine or two and stop. But nobody's gonna tell me that I didn't have a drinking problem that needed all the amunition recovery has to offer. It's not just about the drinking you know...there is way more to it than that. Just saying...

UnixBer

Hi Sorensen and welcome. What comes to socializing. When socializing with alcohol, the brain is in a kind of stasis and nothing new is usually learned. True communication and perception imo comes when you socialize sober.

And contrary to my previous beliefs, the people who have most fun partying, they do it sober. And what could be more confidence/courage/skill building than dancing sober and daring to do similar things you do when you're drunk. It is easy to perform things drunk, anybody can do that. But to get used to working like that sober, now that is something powerful. It is always a personal thing.

Recovery from alcohol addiction must be one of the most liberating things out there, even when it doesn't seem that way in the beginning. It requires total abstinence.

Elisabeth888

That is what happens when alcohol stops working for you. It is time to stop drinking once and for all. It provides you no relief.

TucTee

Sorensen, you and I are about the same age, so I can empathize. You need to discard any insecurity that drinking masks. You can still socialize and drink. I had about 18 weeks sober earlier this year and I went out on the weekends at least 12 of those weeks--I relapsed at home, not the bar. It's about setting boundaries for yourself and with others so you can insist on being clean. If your friends can't deal with that, find new friends.

jkb

I have been a binge drinker since 19. By 30 all my friends had either slowed down or gone off the "deep end" and were daily drinking heavily pretending they were still 21. I on the other hand was still "just binging" on the weekends.

When I quit I was still "just binging" at 36. I was just as much an alcoholic as anyone else but, I used that whole "I only drink when I want to and dont have to function the next day..." excuse for a long time.

Oh yeah and no AA for me either....GL, Jess

Kayla50

I'm in hangover hell too. And missing work. I'm so dissapointed in myself. I have no willpower.

tomsteve

ummmm, thas misinformation, but more successful that what yer doin.
I know many,many alcoholics that are 100% successful one day at a time.

anyone who says there is no God is admitting there is one.

greatful to be a member of the cult that lets me chose what I want to do, when I want to do it, and how I want to do it.


it took me a lot of hard knocks before i stop being so arrogant and and stubborn to become open minded enough to listen to others who had found a solution, then do what worked for them and see what the results would be.

Mirage74

I was like you for much of my 20's, just binging on the weekends. It's when I got to be about 26-27 that drinking started to creep into the week, and quickly I was drinking every day. But I'm an alcoholic. There are non-alcoholics who go all week and then binge on the weekend. Or they might not. They can take it or leave it. Each person has to decide for themselves if the costs of drinking outweigh the benefits. Many people, like you say, realize they are drinking too much and just cut back or quit, no problem. When I realized I needed to cut back or quit, I kept drinking. That's how I realized I have a problem. I would suggest just trying to go a few weekends without it. If you fail, it might give you some more clarity about it.

Sorensen

Good responses from everybody, I am very pleased to see such support. I could go a few weekends without drinking and I have done so many times, ill probably just end up staying in, cleaning the apartment, making a nice dinner, and perhaps play some black ops or watch a movie, doesn't sound bad right?

JackDsMissus

I have a hangover 7 days a week. I combat it with caffiene tabs & energy drinks largely but I know I'm not performing 100%. Binge drinking in the UK seems to be a part of our culture, idk much but I think we KNOW when it's becoming a real problem. If you're here I'd guess that it is becoming that way for you? I've no advise cos I'm binge drinking right now lol but I do want to stop also so just thought I'd reply

DarkDays

Binge drinks at weekends yet I am nt dependant on alcohol , wow that's cool. Then don't drink for the next 10 weekends , see how you feel ? I thought like this ,but I was dependant on alcohol in the way that I could not enjoy myself without it, to me that's dependency . Good luck.

Carlygirl

Dee. Something you said really struck me. You REALLY wanted to stop drinking. I have felt that I thought that about drinking too, but obviously not really. I am still drinking.

Smoking however, I REALLY wanted to stop. I was ashamed and finding it hard to hide. I read Allen Carrs book and I stopped. 12yrs ago and it's not a problem now.

I think drinking is different from smoking because although it is an addictive substance it is not mind altering. What do others think?

GwenCummings

When I was happy with my drinking, I didn't spend a whole lot of time reading recovery forums, still less posting on them about how well I could control my drinking. I was generally too hammered to read and write. Just saying. ;-)

Snicklefritz

Oh hell yeah! I do it on a daily/weekly basis depending on what's happening. I don't know what to tell you. I have a college degree, lost my teaching license, have no job and no hope. I do, however hope your life turns out better than mine did. Godspeed.

Dee74

unless you're 105 and on a respirator your life's not over either snicklefritz
There is always hope.

hang out here some more
D

erics

Hi Sorensen ..... Your story is very familiar. Began binge drinking in high school and all the way thru college. It was still fun then. Around age 23 I decided I should be all grown up and I didn't drink for about a yr and a half. Then I moved o a new town and the bar scene was the only way to meet people. Found myself bombed all weekend, hating Monday and going in late. I didn't drink mon-fri. I got a script for xanax 10 yrs ago and by accident, found it calmed me down when hungover. I used xanax after every hangover those 10 yrs. I used to pride myself that I wouldn't drink in the morning to shake the hangover, but essentially I was.... The drink was the pill. Benzos act on the same brain receptors as alcohol. I kept this up until age 39 and crashed and burned the last 6 months. I had a job, 3 college degrees, a mortgaged house, family, money in the bank. Even published a book. All while drinking alcoholically. I knew I had a problem, but since I had all of those things, didn't drink everyday, no DUI s ( pure luck), I never thought I was alcoholic. It's not how much or how often you drink, it's what happens when you do. Looking back u can see how it progressed... drinking more quantity, more frequently ( at the end it was thurs to sunday)I know now that a few drinks do not interest me. I want oblivion. I don't know when I crossed the line into addiction..... My advice is to educate yourself about alcoholism. Benzodiazepines are the worst to detox from. Get rid of them. Good luck !