My last hungover Saturday!! :)
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Hi Minnesota..and congrats to you. You are definitely on the right forum but are in the response sections on another's thread. You may want to start your own thread so people can come round and welcome you in your own thread : )
Welcome Minnesota! Pinot I won't add to what everyone here is trying to say other than to reiterate you will find support for not drinking rather than drinking. Bright blessings of sobriety to ya.
Welcome Minnesota! Pinot I won't add to what everyone here is trying to say other than to reiterate you will find support for not drinking rather than drinking. Bright blessings of sobriety to ya.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Hi Pinot.
I was a bit startled after reading your comment, though I'm familiar with the thought processes that contribute to your thinking. And your apparent joy. Then when I read your comment that Dee referenced, on January 25th, I just felt sad.
You talked about your husband and your newborn in that earlier post, so it leaves me wondering how the rest of your family has been doing.
For better or worse, our physical and mental health, our overall well being, and our lives don't improve with the time we imagine we'll be sober; nor does anything get better with the hope of better days. For most of us, this stuff is hard work, and the longer we put off taking care of ourselves, the worse everything else gets.
I had to wait until I lost everyone and everything dear to me in life before I stopped. It saddens me when people do the same.
I was a bit startled after reading your comment, though I'm familiar with the thought processes that contribute to your thinking. And your apparent joy. Then when I read your comment that Dee referenced, on January 25th, I just felt sad.
You talked about your husband and your newborn in that earlier post, so it leaves me wondering how the rest of your family has been doing.
For better or worse, our physical and mental health, our overall well being, and our lives don't improve with the time we imagine we'll be sober; nor does anything get better with the hope of better days. For most of us, this stuff is hard work, and the longer we put off taking care of ourselves, the worse everything else gets.
I had to wait until I lost everyone and everything dear to me in life before I stopped. It saddens me when people do the same.
Originally Posted by PinotNOmore 
It's strange. I don't feel good, but I don't feel bad either. My best friend is visiting and we haven't seen each other in years and after a WONDERFUL night out (1st time with a babysitter in a year) drinking and dancing, I'm ready to start my journey with sobriety! I was worried her visit would reinforce how much I like to drink and although we did drink quite a bit the last few days, I have no qualms with knowing that this may be my last "hoorah" so to say. Instead I'm excited! I'm not even angry which is what I usually feel when I know Im going to try quitting. Hopefully this is a good sign; a sign I'm ready to make the leap. We'll see I guess, but if I quit completely this coming week I'll have 6 months sober before my 30th b-day which would be amazing!!! I will drink today. My friend doesn't need the burden of knowing her visit is so substantial in my life plans, and we are wine friends so its inevitable. BUT after she leaves... GAME ON so to say! lol Take care and thanks for listening! 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,748
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast
That was a great post Ladyblue
Pinot- I hope you come back here today. Our posts are from a place of concern and support. you've been a member since January, have said you are desperate and want to stop drinking. then you post about a WONDERFUL night you had drinking and are going to drink again. It doesn't sound like you think drinking is a serious problem OR it may be your AV talking?
We are all different, many people really hit rock bottom. I didn't in one sense but my life had become intolerable because of drinking so I quit. I personally also find it upsetting when someone goes on about the wonders of drinking and how they are keeping doing it.
Nothing will change until you stop drinking. Maybe you're not serious about it or ready yet,I don't know. Maybe you're trying to convince yourself you don't have a problem, I don't know. There will always be a reason/excuse to drink-party, friend visiting, wedding,christening, BBQ,holiday,hen weekend, evening with friends,Christmas,thanksgiving etc etc etc.It's just life and the crucial part of getting sober is adjusting to dealing with these events sober. Putting off sobriety till there are no events is impossible really as there will always be an event.
We are here to support you in quitting drinking. Please understand that our posts are from a place of concern and hope. Of course we support people who are quitting and struggling and relapse. I've relapsed many times. When you're ready to quit I hope you come back. SR is a great place and full of support
Pinot- I hope you come back here today. Our posts are from a place of concern and support. you've been a member since January, have said you are desperate and want to stop drinking. then you post about a WONDERFUL night you had drinking and are going to drink again. It doesn't sound like you think drinking is a serious problem OR it may be your AV talking?
We are all different, many people really hit rock bottom. I didn't in one sense but my life had become intolerable because of drinking so I quit. I personally also find it upsetting when someone goes on about the wonders of drinking and how they are keeping doing it.
Nothing will change until you stop drinking. Maybe you're not serious about it or ready yet,I don't know. Maybe you're trying to convince yourself you don't have a problem, I don't know. There will always be a reason/excuse to drink-party, friend visiting, wedding,christening, BBQ,holiday,hen weekend, evening with friends,Christmas,thanksgiving etc etc etc.It's just life and the crucial part of getting sober is adjusting to dealing with these events sober. Putting off sobriety till there are no events is impossible really as there will always be an event.
We are here to support you in quitting drinking. Please understand that our posts are from a place of concern and hope. Of course we support people who are quitting and struggling and relapse. I've relapsed many times. When you're ready to quit I hope you come back. SR is a great place and full of support
Can't even count how many times I've felt the way you did at the beginning of this thread. I just know it suddenly felt like I had felt that way thousands of times, and I had never been able to succeed by projecting a quit day. So I quit the day of. The day I said to myself "I want to quit."
When my husband sat me down to say, yet again, that he was worried about me, he repeated this phrase, "There is always a party. There is always a reason to drink. Every day." He meant that if I kept waiting until the next wonderful night was over, I would never stop. He is totally right.
This friend may surprise you if you open up about this. To stop, thank her for a lovely time, and open up and share this part of yourself should not be a burden. I only suggest sharing because it seems unlikely that you could keep stopping drinking a secret during your time together. Unless you simply say, "I don't want to drink tonight." And do something else.
I really wish you luck and I can tell you that this site has been nothing but helpful for me in my process, and I can tell you as well that your post flagged me too.
Please have confidence in yourself and come out from behind that glass... If not, please come back and share your stories, it only helps
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: California
Posts: 30
Pinot, I don't know about the others but I totally understand your situation and I think your plan is fine! Since it sounds like your friend doesn't live in your town it should make it easier for you to start your sobriety once she leaves. I had friends like this too.
Good luck to you! Just think...no more hangovers!!
PS. I obviously don't know your drinking history as this is the only post I've read of yours...but if you don't feel you are at "rock bottom" or it is a danger for you to drink one more time with your friend, than my reply still stands...if not, you should reconsider quitting before she leaves.
Good luck to you! Just think...no more hangovers!!
PS. I obviously don't know your drinking history as this is the only post I've read of yours...but if you don't feel you are at "rock bottom" or it is a danger for you to drink one more time with your friend, than my reply still stands...if not, you should reconsider quitting before she leaves.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
I have 52 days today. This was the first thread I pulled up and I related a lot. One of the things that is actually surprising is that knowing I am not going to drink "today", in a way alleviates a lot of the torture that worrying about drinking, when, where and how much brought up. I heard somewhere that this is the "disease of more". I get it. One glass of wine isn't going to be enough, and then I would be eyeing the level in the bottle...was that going to be enough (was it ever?). And there are cravings, but they pass. I observe them, and am like, "oh there is that feeling".
When I follow my train of thought "wouldn't a glass of wine be lovely". But then I follow that thought, and watch where my brain takes me. I can feel the anxiety of where that first glass of wine would take me...because that wouldn't be enough. And I am tired of being a slave to needing "more". As scary as it is being newly sober, I don't want to go back to the exhaustion of constantly thinking about drinking.
Being sober is different, but it is not as scary as bargaining daily with myself, and waking up to do it all over again. I can't control what life brings, but there is a relief in knowing that by not drinking today I have done something significant.
I miss it, but I am surprised that there is also some relief....
When I follow my train of thought "wouldn't a glass of wine be lovely". But then I follow that thought, and watch where my brain takes me. I can feel the anxiety of where that first glass of wine would take me...because that wouldn't be enough. And I am tired of being a slave to needing "more". As scary as it is being newly sober, I don't want to go back to the exhaustion of constantly thinking about drinking.
Being sober is different, but it is not as scary as bargaining daily with myself, and waking up to do it all over again. I can't control what life brings, but there is a relief in knowing that by not drinking today I have done something significant.
I miss it, but I am surprised that there is also some relief....
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,603
Pinot, you will not find more support for your recovery anywhere else but here at SR.
You will also find the most honest and caring people who will share their experiences with you.
I completely agree with what others have said. I needed to change friends, not put off stopping drinking till my friends decided to leave. This recovery has to be about you, putting yourself first, or it won't work. I, too, say this with love and caring.
You will also find the most honest and caring people who will share their experiences with you.
I completely agree with what others have said. I needed to change friends, not put off stopping drinking till my friends decided to leave. This recovery has to be about you, putting yourself first, or it won't work. I, too, say this with love and caring.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 275
Thank you all for continuing to check in and show your concern. I'm doing fine, although I feel physically worse then I have in a few years, but I kinda expected I would. Last night, I actually explained to my friend what was going on. I told her years ago as well, but no one seemed to understand and they used to think I was overreacting. Just thought I was a typical college drinker. I think she got it this time and I'm starting to think she may have similar issues but I may be way off. As far as my husband goes, he never condones my drinking but has a hard time understanding what I'm going through, and he loves me and I seem to have things under control most of the time. I think it's hard for people when they aren't struggling themselves. I have my second appt. with an addiction counselor this week so hopefully she can help me map out a plan. I'm hopeful, optimistic, scared, uneasy, and anxious all wrapped into one. My friend has gone home, I have no more excuses, and I really would like to conquer this. It's just not worth the effort anymore to try and moderate. It's exhausting.
And, I know ya'll are here for me. Sometimes though it's hard to hear what you already know inside...
And, I know ya'll are here for me. Sometimes though it's hard to hear what you already know inside...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,062
Good to hear from you Pinot and glad you talked to your friend!
Also glad you are going to talk to a counselor this week! Good first steps!
We are all rooting for you and will be here when you need to talk through it!
There are so many resources out here for you! It's good to have a plan!
Also glad you are going to talk to a counselor this week! Good first steps!
We are all rooting for you and will be here when you need to talk through it!
There are so many resources out here for you! It's good to have a plan!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by PinotNOmore
Sometimes though it's hard to hear what you already know inside...
You're among friends Pinot.
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