I'm done
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 5
I'm done
Im sone wasting my life ayway. I'm 2 and a half bottles of wine down and this has been goiing on for years. Tomorrowe I will quit. And I am hopinfg for support from here.
Srry for my typinh, i can barely see the screen. Sorruy for being such a loser.
I will quit tomorrow. After these three bottls, after all these years, it's enough.
Im hopinhg this forum will be of help...
Sorry for the mess I canr't evem decipher.
Pete
Srry for my typinh, i can barely see the screen. Sorruy for being such a loser.
I will quit tomorrow. After these three bottls, after all these years, it's enough.
Im hopinhg this forum will be of help...
Sorry for the mess I canr't evem decipher.
Pete
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
I'm so glad you found us Pete! Please don't apologize for your typing - we could read you loud and clear.
You're in good company - we all understand how you feel right now. Thankfully, here's where the bad times can end. You never have to feel this miserable again. Keep reading & posting here so we can help. Glad to have you aboard.
You're in good company - we all understand how you feel right now. Thankfully, here's where the bad times can end. You never have to feel this miserable again. Keep reading & posting here so we can help. Glad to have you aboard.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 241
Hi Pete,
I'm with LadyinBC on this one. No way you are a loser. You are showing huge courage by looking yourself in the eye and saying, "I'm tired of this". I was stone faced drunk when I had that moment too. It can be a powerful beginning. Please come back whenever you want. We'll be here.
Take Care,
Cas
I'm with LadyinBC on this one. No way you are a loser. You are showing huge courage by looking yourself in the eye and saying, "I'm tired of this". I was stone faced drunk when I had that moment too. It can be a powerful beginning. Please come back whenever you want. We'll be here.
Take Care,
Cas
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 5
I'm touched by the kind words. Last night I suddenly had this moment where I thought "it's enough". Today I woke up at 3PM, hung over and my first thought was that I needed to get booze for tonight. It feel pathetic because I'm actually going to do it. Everything is a mess in my life and yet here I go again.
How do I break this cycle? I want to quit but the addiction is too strong. At this point, while being sober, I have told myself that today is the last time. Tomorrow I will quit forever. But that doesn't even sound that confident to myself.
Years ago I started drinking the recommended amounts to gain health benefits. Then I noticed it was a good way to escape from reality. Then it spun out of control with years of enormous amounts of alcohol consumption, just to hide from reality. Numb myself down and avoiding dealing with it. Ironically, reality got worse and worse because of my alcoholism, yet booze is still my escape.
I know the first step is admitting that you're an alcoholic.
I am an alcoholic.
It was just now that I fully realized and admitted it to myself.
So what do I do? In a moment I'll go get my booze and I feel like there is nothing I can do about it. Another day wasted, in both meanings of the word. Tomorrow I want to start over without alcohol. How do I do that?
How do I break this cycle? I want to quit but the addiction is too strong. At this point, while being sober, I have told myself that today is the last time. Tomorrow I will quit forever. But that doesn't even sound that confident to myself.
Years ago I started drinking the recommended amounts to gain health benefits. Then I noticed it was a good way to escape from reality. Then it spun out of control with years of enormous amounts of alcohol consumption, just to hide from reality. Numb myself down and avoiding dealing with it. Ironically, reality got worse and worse because of my alcoholism, yet booze is still my escape.
I know the first step is admitting that you're an alcoholic.
I am an alcoholic.
It was just now that I fully realized and admitted it to myself.
So what do I do? In a moment I'll go get my booze and I feel like there is nothing I can do about it. Another day wasted, in both meanings of the word. Tomorrow I want to start over without alcohol. How do I do that?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
No matter what program or if you try to quit cold turkey.
It's all in the mind.
Yes,you will have withdrawal symptoms and miss a couple night due to insomnia.
But,you have to be ready to say I wont give into my addiction.
I've quit cold turkey a couple times.This time is for good.
Also,depending on how bad your addiction is, the withdrawal could be very severe.
So consulting a doctor would be a good idea.
It's all in the mind.
Yes,you will have withdrawal symptoms and miss a couple night due to insomnia.
But,you have to be ready to say I wont give into my addiction.
I've quit cold turkey a couple times.This time is for good.
Also,depending on how bad your addiction is, the withdrawal could be very severe.
So consulting a doctor would be a good idea.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 737
Pete - When I had days in the past, where the craving was getting too much, even though I didn't want to drink, I would do crazy things, like get all my money and put it in warm soapy water. (couldn't go to the shop with wet money), or even one time, I gave my card to a friend and told her not to give it back to me until after the weekend (I knew she wouldn't and weekends were always my worst times for cravings).
I do understand how you're feeling - you can come out the other side and in only a few short days.
Please do come back on here?
I do understand how you're feeling - you can come out the other side and in only a few short days.
Please do come back on here?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 5
I went to the store, bought wine and am drinking my first glass already... 
Tomorrow I must break this pattern. I know now that I've started drinking, I just cannot stop. To be honest, I feel disgusting and pathetic. I don't even like the taste of the wine. And it's actually a sad thing that I actually know to drink the first 2 glasses very fast because after that the taste isn't a problem anymore.
Tomorrow. A new day. A fresh start.
I feel uncomfortable posting while under the influence. My first post was actually very difficult for me to write for that reason, but I'm glad I did it. I knew I had to.
So I'll come back tomorrow.
Tomorrow I must break this pattern. I know now that I've started drinking, I just cannot stop. To be honest, I feel disgusting and pathetic. I don't even like the taste of the wine. And it's actually a sad thing that I actually know to drink the first 2 glasses very fast because after that the taste isn't a problem anymore.
Tomorrow. A new day. A fresh start.
I feel uncomfortable posting while under the influence. My first post was actually very difficult for me to write for that reason, but I'm glad I did it. I knew I had to.
So I'll come back tomorrow.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Pete, don't live in tomorrow because tomorrow never comes. All you can live in is today, the here and now. If i could live in tomorrow, i wouldn't be an alcoholic. I'm always going to be sober tomorrow even if i'm drinking today. Tomorrow exists in your head. There is no such thing as tomorrow. It's a concept. It's a guess. It's a hope. It's a fear. It isn't tangible. If you want to get sober, get sober today, not tomorrow. Today is the only thing you can change.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
