I finally realize the MAIN reason I drink...and it's a scary one
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Albuquerque NM
Posts: 147
Originally Posted by Hevyn 
Hi Nevar. You are definitely cared about here. It makes me very sad to read how miserable your life is. I'm hoping so much that things can change for you.
I agree that giving yourself a chance at sobriety could make all the difference. I know that might not be the whole problem - you could suffer from Depression as well. At least give yourself a shot at being clear headed to see how it goes. Drinking caused me to isolate, too - I didn't want to be bothered with anyone or anything. You're so young - you can turn this whole thing around. Please don't give up on yourself - we won't give up on you that's for sure.
I agree that giving yourself a chance at sobriety could make all the difference. I know that might not be the whole problem - you could suffer from Depression as well. At least give yourself a shot at being clear headed to see how it goes. Drinking caused me to isolate, too - I didn't want to be bothered with anyone or anything. You're so young - you can turn this whole thing around. Please don't give up on yourself - we won't give up on you that's for sure.
God I want to cry. I have never felt so emotional when not drunk as I am now.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
Hello.....I have felt how you describe when i was drinking...miserable, lonely, stressed and bored. Instead of dealing with these feelings in a positive manner and doing something worthwhile to better my life i drank and then i felt worse so i drank more and i ended up in a big mess, completely lost and confused. You say everyone you see traveling is so happy.That will be a myth. Everyone has issues and problems and you are perceiving these people to be happy because you feel so low yourself right now. No one is happy all the time. Drinking will do nothing but exacerbate how low you already feel.
You don't sound like a child. You sound like someone who would desperately like to stop drinking and live a happy sober life and you can. I am 27 years old and i stopped drinking over ten months ago now and it was the best decision i have ever made. My life in general is better in every respect. I now have so many more options and i enjoy my life. If i have a bad day that's all it is and i go to bed with the expectation that tomorrow will be better and it usually is now. You are young. If you get this sorted out now you can live a more positive, less stressful and exciting life.
You ask what you do from here?. You are positing here which is a good step. This website has been vital for my recovery. Make a plan for your recovery and don't drink today. Its worth it, life is so much better when you are no longer being controlled by alcohol. I hope you feel better. Wishing you well.
You don't sound like a child. You sound like someone who would desperately like to stop drinking and live a happy sober life and you can. I am 27 years old and i stopped drinking over ten months ago now and it was the best decision i have ever made. My life in general is better in every respect. I now have so many more options and i enjoy my life. If i have a bad day that's all it is and i go to bed with the expectation that tomorrow will be better and it usually is now. You are young. If you get this sorted out now you can live a more positive, less stressful and exciting life.
You ask what you do from here?. You are positing here which is a good step. This website has been vital for my recovery. Make a plan for your recovery and don't drink today. Its worth it, life is so much better when you are no longer being controlled by alcohol. I hope you feel better. Wishing you well.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Albuquerque NM
Posts: 147
Originally Posted by hayley86
Hello.....I have felt how you describe when i was drinking...miserable, lonely, stressed and bored. Instead of dealing with these feelings in a positive manner and doing something worthwhile to better my life i drank and then i felt worse so i drank more and i ended up in a big mess, completely lost and confused. You say everyone you see traveling is so happy.That will be a myth. Everyone has issues and problems and you are perceiving these people to be happy because you feel so low yourself right now. No one is happy all the time. Drinking will do nothing but exacerbate how low you already feel.
You don't sound like a child. You sound like someone who would desperately like to stop drinking and live a happy sober life and you can. I am 27 years old and i stopped drinking over ten months ago now and it was the best decision i have ever made. My life in general is better in every respect. I now have so many more options and i enjoy my life. If i have a bad day that's all it is and i go to bed with the expectation that tomorrow will be better and it usually is now. You are young. If you get this sorted out now you can live a more positive, less stressful and exciting life.
You ask what you do from here?. You are positing here which is a good step. This website has been vital for my recovery. Make a plan for your recovery and don't drink today. Its worth it, life is so much better when you are no longer being controlled by alcohol. I hope you feel better. Wishing you well.
You don't sound like a child. You sound like someone who would desperately like to stop drinking and live a happy sober life and you can. I am 27 years old and i stopped drinking over ten months ago now and it was the best decision i have ever made. My life in general is better in every respect. I now have so many more options and i enjoy my life. If i have a bad day that's all it is and i go to bed with the expectation that tomorrow will be better and it usually is now. You are young. If you get this sorted out now you can live a more positive, less stressful and exciting life.
You ask what you do from here?. You are positing here which is a good step. This website has been vital for my recovery. Make a plan for your recovery and don't drink today. Its worth it, life is so much better when you are no longer being controlled by alcohol. I hope you feel better. Wishing you well.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Albuquerque NM
Posts: 147
Originally Posted by Petecrab
Forget last night. It's in the past. Today is day 1.
ugghhh not again was my 1st emotion. But hay I feel so rotten right now there are ways to feel better than this.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Albuquerque NM
Posts: 147
Originally Posted by Petecrab
But think, this will be the last time you say 'not again' =]
So I know of this AA meeting that begins about an hour after work. I hope I can find a sponsor to help me and talk to me this time. My last attempt no one really wanted to guide me and just wanted to leave.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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Thank you to everyone who responded! I was getting real scared of that feeling like no one has drank as hard and hurt more than me.
I'm tired of drinking alone. Tired of being alone. Tired of drinking...
I'm tired of drinking alone. Tired of being alone. Tired of drinking...
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Originally Posted by NevarCiots
I drink to shorten my life expectancy as much as possible.
A useful thing I have heard people say is 'don't compare your insides to other people's outsides'. You really have no idea what is going on with other people so don't assume they're happy. I bet you'll find lots of people here that feel like you do now and having the opportunity to help other people can really help you too.
Glad you're here x
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
Originally Posted by NevarCiots
Thank you haylee. Yes I do want to quit but I need a big kick in the ass or something. I might need to hire some thugs to beat me down after every time I drink. Maybe that would be a good enough reason to quit LOL!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Albuquerque NM
Posts: 147
Originally Posted by hypochondriac
Me too! But then I was also terrified that I would die before cleaning up the empties and everyone would know my terrible secret. I don't want to go all happy clappy on you but quitting drinking really did give me my will to live back, and I really never had any before.
A useful thing I have heard people say is 'don't compare your insides to other people's outsides'. You really have no idea what is going on with other people so don't assume they're happy. I bet you'll find lots of people here that feel like you do now and having the opportunity to help other people can really help you too.
Glad you're here x
A useful thing I have heard people say is 'don't compare your insides to other people's outsides'. You really have no idea what is going on with other people so don't assume they're happy. I bet you'll find lots of people here that feel like you do now and having the opportunity to help other people can really help you too.
Glad you're here x
I didn't realize I needed to make this thread so much to give me ideas and think about consequences.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: South west uk
Posts: 960
Who do you live with? Anyone to help you at home or you live alone? Whenever you feel like drinking , even tomorrow on day 2, come in here and chat to us, it works wonders! I replaced my drinking addiction with getting addicted to the gym, and a new computer game for after, may sound dull but its helped me!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Albuquerque NM
Posts: 147
Originally Posted by Petecrab
Who do you live with? Anyone to help you at home or you live alone? Whenever you feel like drinking , even tomorrow on day 2, come in here and chat to us, it works wonders! I replaced my drinking addiction with getting addicted to the gym, and a new computer game for after, may sound dull but its helped me!
And yah a gym. When I got out of that detox clinic I started doing yoga, hitting the punching bag, lifting. I felt SO flexible and energetic and positive.
What computer game is it? I was addicted to StarCraft back in my HS days.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'm glad you're sounding a little bit more like yourself Nevar.
We all have those dark thoughts when drinking - it's our addiction - it's much easier to drink if we have no fight left.
But you've proven here you have a lot of fight left
It's like Mark says - the solution here may not be easy but it is simple - stop drinking - so do whatever you need to do to make that happen.
In a while, you'll find that a lot of things will become clearer and less complicated to you - I promise
D
We all have those dark thoughts when drinking - it's our addiction - it's much easier to drink if we have no fight left.
But you've proven here you have a lot of fight left
It's like Mark says - the solution here may not be easy but it is simple - stop drinking - so do whatever you need to do to make that happen.
In a while, you'll find that a lot of things will become clearer and less complicated to you - I promise
D
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: South west uk
Posts: 960
Get the exercise in. Maybe do yoga with a class. Will help with the socialising as well as getting the exercise.
Loaded up my old Warcraft account from years ago. It passes the time i would have normally been drinking!
Loaded up my old Warcraft account from years ago. It passes the time i would have normally been drinking!
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Somewhere in Wisconsin
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"I drink every night in my apartment after work just isolating, drinking and playing games on my phone. And...that is it. No getting together with friends. Only call my mom when drunk and crying and slobbering over some loneliness nonsense.
I have become a VERY "closed in tight" individual and that was never me in high school. Absurd levels of beer drinking has wired me into a disgusting, drunken hermit.
My want to seek out schooling, or chasing hobbies has vanished."
You just described me in a nutshell before I quit drinking 17 days ago.
You have to WANT sobriety more than you want to get drunk.
If you have one foot in yesterday and the other foot in tomorrow, you p*ss all over today.
Take baby steps and one day at a time..hell, take one hour at a time if you need to. I guarantee you, once you quit drinking, the depression will lift and you'll feel so much better and confident.
I have become a VERY "closed in tight" individual and that was never me in high school. Absurd levels of beer drinking has wired me into a disgusting, drunken hermit.
My want to seek out schooling, or chasing hobbies has vanished."
You just described me in a nutshell before I quit drinking 17 days ago.
You have to WANT sobriety more than you want to get drunk.
If you have one foot in yesterday and the other foot in tomorrow, you p*ss all over today.
Take baby steps and one day at a time..hell, take one hour at a time if you need to. I guarantee you, once you quit drinking, the depression will lift and you'll feel so much better and confident.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: London (-ish)
Posts: 263
I know this feeling very well. Honestly it does get better. 2 months ago I was in a total mess, alone and drinking, and now I'm finally just starting to feel a bit better. You will too! There is no point in giving up when some better times are just round the corner. Counselling might help to talk through issues and find a way forward :0) stick with the water and this site will give you help too. Good luck on your journey to a more fuller life
Sicknote
Sicknote
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: South west uk
Posts: 960
Back to your job, salesman , are you commission based? I am in mine. Since I stopped drinking my figures have tripled. Wayyyyy more money. And no money spent on alcohol to means I can live very comfortable. Give it a go, sounds like your fed up of eating ramen!
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