Newatthis34

Hello again James,

Thought I'd chime in again and offer my support. I'm on Day 2 too - for the umpteenth time I should add.

While I was out walking my dogs this morning I was trying to think of something - anything - positive I can take from my repeated attempts and failures to quit for good. It was pretty difficult but I finally realised that despite my struggles for permanent sobriety I have turned some kind of a corner. In other words the time spent in 'relapse' has been getting shorter and shorter, I really really want this. I cannot imagine going back to drinking every day now. I truly can't. Does this guarantee I won't drink again though? No, it doesn't or else I wouldn't keep doing it I guess. I need to find a way of staying quit for good with no more break-outs. And this is where the infamous plan comes into play although as yet I have no clue where to begin formulating that!!

James18

I'm feeling pretty much the same, I think this time I'm more determined and the yo-yoing of drinking/attempted quitting is a sign I'm more serious about doing this.

Yep, staying quit is the hard part . I know for me, it's figuring out why I drink and separating these reason and addressing them individually. I've never really addressed it until last year and it's more complicated than just one single factor such boredom or shyness or whatever reasons people give for drinking.

I really need to learn to say no to people where drinking is concerned. That is a problem I've developed over the years; I think I can get long/please everyone. I know the only person this way of thinking won't work out for is me!

I wish you well and hope you can go the distance

dwtbd

I would strongly recommend learning about Rational Recovery and AVRT. I have just finished the book, and it is quite the eye opener, the chapter "I know why you drink" is spot on, and really puts things in perspective, I highly recommend it.

elderine

Hi James,

I just wanted to say, for whatever it's worth, that I'm in very much the same boat. It hit me like a ton of bricks last week how much I want to please/go along with others in so many ways, drinking included. It feels uncomfortable to prioritize my own needs when they're different from those of others. But we have to! It really is eventually a matter of life or death. And for myself I've also realized that I can exploit this tendency by spending as much time as possible around those who don't drink - because I wouldn't drink around nondrinkers.

Anyway, thanks for posting about this. It's something I'm going to be struggling with as I once again attempt to have a sober social life.

James18

Well I managed two days - pathetic...After visiting my friend ina psychiatric hospital and dealing with the fallout from my last row with my girlfriend (amongst other things), I hit the bottle. I went for ONE drink we all know the rest...

So here I am, back to day one again. There's no point beating myself up about it. I'm just gonna start again and hope next time I can reach 3 days!

Newatthis34

Just try to put it in the past, that's what I'm trying to do myself since I fell last week (and all those other times). It's too easy to obsess about mistakes and f**k-ups and that really does hold you back, I'm focusing on the present and hope that the future will take care of itself as long as I don't drink today. Keep going, keep coming back here no matter what. That's the main difference for me these past weeks - no matter what I have decided I'll keep posting on SR even if I have a slip. Otherwise my pattern was to skulk off after a relapse feeling too foolish after all my positive posts charting how much I was enjoying sobriety to come on and tell everyone I drank again.

Pamel

James, you have company. Day 1 for me too. again.

keen2bclean

I'm back to day one as well...I'm boring myself to tears with the cycle of 'i'll just have one', then feeling good after three or four...then one or two bottles later passing out with no memory from beyond glass 4...waking up a couple of hours later, trudging to the bathroom thru the night for countless water refills...getting about an hours 'sleep' and waking up frantically trying to recount the events from the night before; what did I say/do?...did I upset anyone?....etc then comes the guilt, disappointment and self loathing....and inevitably the promise not to do it again....yawwwwwn! I have just been reading up on AVRT and listening to the founder talk about Rational Recovery on YouTube....it's worth a listen, nothing to lose, right?

James18

Well it's 11 a.m on day 2 and I'm already bored! I need to wait in for some parcels so am trapped in the house for the next few hours! I'm fidgety and can't settle into anything. I'm meant to be doing an I.T course, but between a lack of sleep and being restless, I can't concentrate.

I'm also getting anxious about how being sober would affect my life/relationships, which at this point is stupid - I haven't even managed a week. I need a distraction!

ScottFromWI

Being sober will only affect your life in positive ways James. However, you'll never find out if you keep drinking. At some point you need to make the choice to really do something about it, and you may need help like AA, couseling, etc. But the bottom line is that you have the choice, and no one else can make you quit.

jazzfish

Your mind can be all over the place in the early days of sobriety. Just be patient and it will get better. For the fidgeties, I find that a quick burst of exercise can dissipate a lot of that; even just an intense 5 minutes of something.

Alexis100

I am on day 2.....tried many times - had 7 years at one point a long time ago....I came across an article that scared me on webmd that was titled "12 Health Risks of Chronic Heavy Drinking" (I can't post links yet - need a few more posts)
I am hoping I haven't done permanent damage....
good luck James - we all need to keep it in the day!

hayley86

James.....i found a good routine really helped me in early sobriety and it still does now. Get a routine and structure to your day so you do set things at set times. I.e. wake up, walk / exercise, eat well, post here and so on. I found a good plan of action was essential so i did not have too much time on my hands to think about drinking and over analyze the situation. The more simple the better i found and i got through it, you can too. Best of luck to you.

James18

Thanks for the replies. I've begun to settle down a bit now, I did a few exercises and tried reading again. Routine is definitely something I need though, and can see exactly how it would help me. I also posted in another thread about being indecisive. Routine would help sort that out too I think.

Well so far so good today...

James18

Well it's 1a.m here and I'm wide awake and a bit cranky, but technically I'm on day 3! My alarm is set for the morning and i'm planning on taking a walk before breakfast and a workout after. It's early doors, but I'm feeling positive about the morning. I'm not gonna try and force myself to sleep though, it never works! Hopefully I can drag myself out of bed at a sensible hour in the morning whatever time I drift off.

I'm posting this on the android app and am finding it very helpful and reassuring knowing the forum is on hand.