Kys

Hi guys,

I work a very demanding job, there's constant deadlines and high expectations to manage etc. It's an incredible job to have in so many ways though but can be very demanding on ones focus, emotional state and there's always uncertainty looming if you don't keep performing, though I know I tend to exaggerate that in my mind at times.

I'm sure there's many who can relate who work in such or similar environments. In trying to recover and stay recovered I'd be interested to hear from those who might be in a similar situation or can relate in anyway, or would just like to contribute anyway My job has definitely contributed toward my drinking in me dealing with the kind of stress I'm trying to describe above. Man, when I read posts about people saying they're going to catch a good nights sleep I get jealous if I've got some work to finish, as I'd love nothing better than to crash out myself.

...Of course this extra night work is often bought on by being too hungover at work to get much done, I can generally get away with leaving things until the evening when I know I'll be more awake, however I've often used that as an excuse to drink again. Repeat.

Sober now but I know this will be something I'll always need to plan for in my battle, but it's defeated me many times, and I know there's millions of people work jobs like I've described that are 'difficult to leave at home' so to speak.

It's a warmish night where I live and I'm very much enjoying kicking back on the balcony with my fav natural juice taking in SR at the moment. I love these moments and want to make it part of my general living and not something I feel can suddenly be taken away with booze.

Thanks for reading

least

I have no advice or experience but wanted to give you a hug.

Kys

Awww thanks Least, it's always great to hear from you!

TryingHarder

I can definitely relate to the stress of a demanding job. That said, I'm on a mission to be absolutely honest with myself in an effort to stop the cycle of repeating Day 1 over and over and here's what it true for me.

I've used the excuse of a demanding job to justify drinking after work. I've used the excuse of the stress of caregiving for my mom as an excuse to drink. I've used the excuse of a not so good marriage as an excuse to drink. I've used my sons deployment to Afghanistan as an excuse to drink. I've used my daughters problems as an excuse to drink. I've used a great day as an excuse to reward myself by drinking.

I believe I see a pattern in my behavior.

Kys

I can definitely relate TryingHarder. When things are calm I've 'rewarded' myself with drinking.

TryingHarder

Yeah so now we must do the work to find alternatives to the drink. And stop the lies we tell ourselves because for me, the hangovers are fierce and after thousands of them, I'm really quite tired of it. Lets work this thing.

visch1

Hi. I usually say things people usually don't like because I didn't like them when I came to AA years ago. When I accepted them things got better for me and I was stressed every day. First things first I hated, it meant my drinking problem is addressed as #1 before family, job etc. Self Honesty is another biggee. If We don't have the first drink we don't have to get sober again. We also discover that alcohol is the symptom of our problems and they must be dealt with to stay happy and comfortable in our own skin. It's work however the results are certainly worth it if we let them. BE WELL

Dib42

I have a very demanding Job, and a very demanding lifestyle. I find its significantly easier to handle when I'm sober and not hungover. Unfortunately, trying to learn to wind down after work and give my kids and family time, without drinking, is a bit difficult. But if I keep drinking I'll most likely lose both.

Pondlady

Kys,
I work in a school setting and got sober over the summer, do didn't have to worry too much about work. It's been over a year since I gave up alcohol, and I can honestly say, I'm more effective in my work these days I also am learning to set better boundaries, to make time for my daily walks and now taking yoga classes. I admire your attitude

trappeshot

Man I can def relate to you here

I own a web development business. At any point in time we are programming 10-15 different projects. I have proposals that I have to put together for new clients, managing everyday issues with business..

and on top of all THAT, I am in drug court.

and on top of THAT I'm the secretary for our NA group and im' having to basically organize a camping trip myself right now for the group

and on top of HAT I am losing weight, I was 230 when I got clean today I was 192.


Not even talking about the 2 different sponsees that I have.


I have a lot on my plate. I wouldn't have it any other way though this is how I live.


This is what you have to understand. Or at least, what I had to understand

No matter what.. my sobriety comes first. Because without my sobriety, there are sponsees, there is no gym membership, there is no food, there is no growing business. NOne of that is possible without my sobriety.


When I first got clean I had to do everything eveyrday and the stress of trying to do everything everyday was too much. Back then I had to go to drug court 3 days a week and take random drug tests. I would get stressed out and down on myself when I could not do everything on my plate.

I realize now that it's a never ending process. I will be done with drug court, and it's not even all that far off. My schedule will, in due time, get lighter. But until it does, sometimes I Need to take a day. Like today for instance I happen to have to go to court today, I don't need to try to go to a gym, work 8 hours, and go to an NA meeting today. IF it were up to me that's what I would do, but it's not lol.

Just keep your sobriety first, and everything else will work out. I don't care how hectic work gets, your sobriety comes first. AT all times. Everything else will work itself out.

Wharf Rat

I can relate. I am newly sober (again) and dread the work functions in the future (Las Vegas especially), not to mention the constant everyday stress of holding down my job to pay the mortgage and bills. Somewhere it says that in our drinking our problems become astonishingly hard to solve; but in our sobriety we can better manage our lives. I hope that comes true for me.

Ptcapote

Hi Kys, thanks for posting that as I often thought of asking a similar question but didn't quite know how to phrase it.

I work a job that requires me to be "on" basically 24 hours a day. Because a large majority of my work is based overseas (even when I am not there), I have to be awake to answer phone calls at any hour as well as keep normal 9-5 hours at the office. I also manage teams both here in the US and in seven countries so I hear you on the management angle. I love my job, am paid quite well, am one of the only females in my field, get to travel to some amazing and crazy places, and wouldn't trade it for the world.

HOWEVER.

I drank to manage the stress of my job for years and years. As you can imagine, having to be alert around the clock cramped my drinking quite a bit. Eventually being an alcoholic AND having my job was hard to reconcile. So, of course, I started letting the job go...not the booze. I used to rationalize and justify and make excuses for letting my work performance slip so I could keep drinking. Hell, I became the queen of funerals and family illnesses that would give me an excuse to take time off to nurse a hangover or keep drinking. I think at least three aunts that never existed have died and a few family members have had surgeries that they never even knew about A few got flowers unexpectedly and I had to make up a bunch of quick bullsh*t excuses to manage those lies.

Ashamed of that? Tremendously. But it also showed me how badly I was in the bag with drinking and how close I was to losing what I loved.

Nowadays (and I only have 5 and a half months sober, mind you), I am learning how to set boundaries. As visch says above, we often use stress to excuse our drinking and I certainly did that. But I also think job stress is real and a lot of alcoholics also happen to be massive overachievers so the two go hand-in-hand. My boundaries include learning how to say "no" whenever and wherever I can. I have come to accept that there is no "prize" at the end of all this for me working myself and, subsequently, drinking myself to death.

I have started saying "no" to small things (like, "Hey, it may be Sunday here but it's Monday afternoon in Oz, can you take a few calls?") when I know that no one's hair is on fire or life is at risk. I turn down assignments that I know others can handle even if my inner perfectionist is screeching. When I am tired, I take time to sleep. I am starting to actually use my days off and vacation time on a more regular basis instead of banking them for one huge trip to Central America where I get drunk on a beach for a week and remember nothing of it. After years of being an overachiever AND a drunk it has taken some time for me to "train" people in my life, i.e. my superiors, to understand that I am not slacking and that by allowing me to rest, my job performance is better.

And that is the key. When I quit drinking, my job performance got so markedly better that, eventually, they began to see that the trade-off worked out better for them too. Give me some more space and time and they got better results across the board. And believe me, working without a hangover or being consumed after a certain time about when my next drink is coming is a blessing.

So, by way of a very long response, my advice it to try to set some boundaries as much as you can. Start small but know that if your drinking has been affecting your job performance (and it likely has even if you don't think it's obvious), then quitting will result in a much better you all around. And, yes, as the others are saying, your sobriety has to come first. But it is not impossible to manage both. Really and truly.

Don't know if this helped or was just a ton of verbiage but thanks for bringing the topic up.

Best of luck and good wishes to you!

trappeshot

When i first got clean, my job performance took a nose dive.

i was so used to working high, that i was in a fog for about 3 months when i first got clean. I could barley stay awake let alone run a business. It was tough.

I caught myself saying, more than once, "i made more money high than I do now". that's tempting. And I wasn't lying.

And the real world does not care if you are getting clean they want their money. Everyone is happy when you tell them you are changing your life but they are not happy when they don't get what they think is theirs when they want it.

Part of hte reason I seriously got clean and sober was because i Knew my addictions were holding me back from fulfilling my potential. So I thought when I got clean I would be having all this money and this kick ass life and it isn't / didn't happen like that, and that was tough. I had to go throw PAWS bad. I had a lot on my plate. ]

and on top of all that, I had developed an intolerance of lactose to the point where if i ate anything with lactose in it i had to find a bed and go to sleep. but the thing is, I didn't know it lol. So I would have these grand plans and then in the middle of the day just out of the blue i would have to just go to sleep. It got really stressed out for a minute there.


that first year is a bitch. it gets better. not Perfect but it gets easier if you put hte work in. They told me to keep holding on, keep trying, and i held on and kept trying and life is easier now. and it will keep getting easier

AlexaDaly

I can totally relate as well.

So the question is for me, what do I do now instead of drinking when I get home? I fix dinner and I watch the news and I have a nice non-alcoholic beverage, but I find myself pacing around the house a lot trying to unwind and relax, and I'm pretty irritable, and really finding it to be very difficult and not relaxing. Part/most of sobriety is dealing with the unpleasant feelings I used to anesthetize myself for, and it's not easy. Being on SR helps a lot.

Dee74

This is a pretty demanding job

I think balance is crucial - you need down time, you need to find healthy life afformaing ways to relax...build a social circle that supports you, try and be grateful for the good thing in your life and work to give a little of that back to others.

I think with the right balance, we can amaze ourselves with what we can accomplish

D

Kys

Excellent posts guys, thank you. I can relate to so much of this exactly and Ptcapote, you pretty much nailed it terms of how I am and how I can react to such things.

And Dee, I have no idea how you do it! Forever thankful to you!

Thanks everyone, really appreciate your words and it's something to know I'm not alone and nice to have gotten it out there.