Thoughts from a moderate problem drinker
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by outoftime 
I finished up with my friend and got the hell out of there. The drive home was like the scene in horror films where the girl is running away through the forest and gets snagged on every branch. Every light was red. Every green light had some straggler in the crosswalk whose life goal was apparently to savor the crosswalk crossing experience as if it was a beach sunset in Tahiti.
There is movement, not just description. Anyways... good job getting out of there. Maybe next time just don't go to the bar. Sounds like you are doing great this early on!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by outoftime
I had really bad cravings on the way home yesterday. I was meeting a friend after work for a quick talk about a project he's working on. He always likes to talk in person, even if it's just something quick.
He was at a bar. Uh oh.
When I agreed, I was feeling no cravings. And anyway, I'm around 25 days sober. How bad could it be? But an hour later, and an hour before I had to meet with him, the cravings kicked in.
Stupidly, I shrugged it off. Figured I just needed a walk and a cigarette. As the time drew near, I thought about cancelling with some excuse, but I was in that mental debate of being a flake vs the strength of the cravings. By the time I got to the bar I was peaking. It sucked. I chain-smoked. My hands started to shake a little.
Fortunately, the bar has a smoking area outside and that's where we met. Also, they were charging a cover, and I told my friend I wasn't drinking that night, so wasn't going to bother paying the cover. We ended up talking in the smoking area and I focused on the conversation and that I could get out of there soon.
Then, as if on cue, I look over and this cute girl is looking at me. I looked away, said something to my friend, and then looked back, and she gave a little smile.
Man, they don't roll out the welcome mat any better than that.
Part of me wanted to go over there so bad, so very bad. "Hi. Buy you a drink...?" it would start. And then we'd chat and smile and make little jokes and she'd ask me what I do and she's smart and saving some endangered animal and we like the same movies and the sex is great and then she has a twin sister and they share everything and...
But I couldn't. I just couldn't. Because even in that little millisecond fantasy I had a drink in my hand. I was barely keeping it together against the cravings. No way I could have lasted in that place.
I finished up with my friend and got the hell out of there. The drive home was like the scene in horror films where the girl is running away through the forest and gets snagged on every branch. Every light was red. Every green light had some straggler in the crosswalk whose life goal was apparently to savor the crosswalk crossing experience as if it was a beach sunset in Tahiti. No, really, take your time buddy. Light's only been red for a good fifteen seconds and cars are piled up for two blocks, but you go on ahead don't let that bother you one bit. In fact, why not pitch a tent? You seem like a great guy. Let's be friends. Let me introduce you to my sister even.
Around 20 blocks later the cravings finally started backing off. The traffic magically eased up. I got home a few minutes later. And a half hour later it was if it had never happened. And no one had any idea of the epic battle I'd just fought.
He was at a bar. Uh oh.
When I agreed, I was feeling no cravings. And anyway, I'm around 25 days sober. How bad could it be? But an hour later, and an hour before I had to meet with him, the cravings kicked in.
Stupidly, I shrugged it off. Figured I just needed a walk and a cigarette. As the time drew near, I thought about cancelling with some excuse, but I was in that mental debate of being a flake vs the strength of the cravings. By the time I got to the bar I was peaking. It sucked. I chain-smoked. My hands started to shake a little.
Fortunately, the bar has a smoking area outside and that's where we met. Also, they were charging a cover, and I told my friend I wasn't drinking that night, so wasn't going to bother paying the cover. We ended up talking in the smoking area and I focused on the conversation and that I could get out of there soon.
Then, as if on cue, I look over and this cute girl is looking at me. I looked away, said something to my friend, and then looked back, and she gave a little smile.
Man, they don't roll out the welcome mat any better than that.
Part of me wanted to go over there so bad, so very bad. "Hi. Buy you a drink...?" it would start. And then we'd chat and smile and make little jokes and she'd ask me what I do and she's smart and saving some endangered animal and we like the same movies and the sex is great and then she has a twin sister and they share everything and...
But I couldn't. I just couldn't. Because even in that little millisecond fantasy I had a drink in my hand. I was barely keeping it together against the cravings. No way I could have lasted in that place.
I finished up with my friend and got the hell out of there. The drive home was like the scene in horror films where the girl is running away through the forest and gets snagged on every branch. Every light was red. Every green light had some straggler in the crosswalk whose life goal was apparently to savor the crosswalk crossing experience as if it was a beach sunset in Tahiti. No, really, take your time buddy. Light's only been red for a good fifteen seconds and cars are piled up for two blocks, but you go on ahead don't let that bother you one bit. In fact, why not pitch a tent? You seem like a great guy. Let's be friends. Let me introduce you to my sister even.
Around 20 blocks later the cravings finally started backing off. The traffic magically eased up. I got home a few minutes later. And a half hour later it was if it had never happened. And no one had any idea of the epic battle I'd just fought.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
You know...I'd likely find something a wee bit mysterious, sexy and maybe...oooh dare I say "dangerous" bout a man who bought me a drink whilst calmly drinking ice water himself. If he was comfortable in his own skin and oozed confidence...holy hannah..I'd be all over that. K..bear in mind I'm an addict all over the place dude...mysterious, dangerous men included.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Somewhere, NJ
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
You know...I'd likely find something a wee bit mysterious, sexy and maybe...oooh dare I say "dangerous" bout a man who bought me a drink whilst calmly drinking ice water himself. If he was comfortable in his own skin and oozed confidence...holy hannah..I'd be all over that. K..bear in mind I'm an addict all over the place dude...mysterious, dangerous men included.
With all this free time I'm working on some pickup scenarios.
The girl will say, "I noticed you don't drink" or "you're not drinking tonight?"
And I will smile come-hither, and say, "Why? Were you going to ask me out for a drink?"
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
OOT,
I'm in way early days (yet again) and want to thank you for an extremely pleasant hour or so spent in your virtual company when I found sleep was impossible last night.
Your pragmatic approach is inspirational to me, particularly as it comes wrapped in your fantastic literary style.
Eagerly awaiting news of your travels today and hoping you fared we'll.
Sent from my iPod touch using SoberRecovery
I'm in way early days (yet again) and want to thank you for an extremely pleasant hour or so spent in your virtual company when I found sleep was impossible last night.
Your pragmatic approach is inspirational to me, particularly as it comes wrapped in your fantastic literary style.
Eagerly awaiting news of your travels today and hoping you fared we'll.
Sent from my iPod touch using SoberRecovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Somewhere, NJ
Posts: 27
Last weekend I got invited to a friend's restaurant opening. Like all things these days, I never say 'yes', I say 'maybe', or 'I'll do my best'. I hate to say I'll go and then not show. But I knew there would be beer and wine and if I was feeling even a little weak in the will-power department I'd have to steer wide. Of course, people flake all the time, but I don't like to be that kind of person.
On the other hand, I wonder how many of those people flake because they know if they show up they'll end up drinking too much.
Saturday rolled around and I was feeling pretty good. It was 6 PM, and about when I'd typically be opening a bottle of wine, but I didn't have any cravings. I decided to go.
On the whole it was a bit of a downer, the crowd I mean. The partners were there, along with their families, friends and kids. Even though they're aiming at a young, hip, lively crowd, it wasn't represented that night. I wanted to split but had nowhere to go. I'm in that phase of my drinking career where I'm no longer a hell-raiser who gets invited to parties because I liven them up, but also too weighed down by regular booze to cultivate an active circle of friends. So I just hung out and made polite conversation.
As I was ready to leave, a few friends stopped in and we got to chatting. And it was actually okay. I didn't have that rushed, nagging feeling I usually do when making conversation because my cocktail is already half empty and the line is picking up at the bar. Or mentally mapping my way to the nearest ATM because I've only got $10 left in my pocket, and I know I want at least four more drinks. Or catching myself slurring and wondering if they noticed it.
It occurs to me I haven't made conversation with people in a long time without my mind being altered somehow. Either I was anywhere from slightly to very drunk, hungover, or in some early stage of withdrawal.
I didn't leave until midnight. I didn't walk to my car with an overly business-like posture, so as not to look drunk in case any cops might be parked in the shadows just waiting for me to turn the ignition key. I didn't have to worry about it.
On the other hand, I wonder how many of those people flake because they know if they show up they'll end up drinking too much.
Saturday rolled around and I was feeling pretty good. It was 6 PM, and about when I'd typically be opening a bottle of wine, but I didn't have any cravings. I decided to go.
On the whole it was a bit of a downer, the crowd I mean. The partners were there, along with their families, friends and kids. Even though they're aiming at a young, hip, lively crowd, it wasn't represented that night. I wanted to split but had nowhere to go. I'm in that phase of my drinking career where I'm no longer a hell-raiser who gets invited to parties because I liven them up, but also too weighed down by regular booze to cultivate an active circle of friends. So I just hung out and made polite conversation.
As I was ready to leave, a few friends stopped in and we got to chatting. And it was actually okay. I didn't have that rushed, nagging feeling I usually do when making conversation because my cocktail is already half empty and the line is picking up at the bar. Or mentally mapping my way to the nearest ATM because I've only got $10 left in my pocket, and I know I want at least four more drinks. Or catching myself slurring and wondering if they noticed it.
It occurs to me I haven't made conversation with people in a long time without my mind being altered somehow. Either I was anywhere from slightly to very drunk, hungover, or in some early stage of withdrawal.
I didn't leave until midnight. I didn't walk to my car with an overly business-like posture, so as not to look drunk in case any cops might be parked in the shadows just waiting for me to turn the ignition key. I didn't have to worry about it.
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