Confused/Scared about getting sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1
Confused/Scared about getting sober
Hi everyone,
First let me say that I am I have never done this sort of thing before although I have read a lot of other people's stories online. I am a 20 year old college student who has been drinking for a little over three years. The first time I ever drank I blacked out and have continued on the path since then. I have had a couple of bad experiences recently that have come to make me realize that maybe I have a problem with drinking. Recently I was released from the hospital, I have no idea how I got there, luckily though I was apparently cooperative with the police and didn't have any charges filed. Even though I don't drink many times per week, around one or two, I find that I am incapable of stopping from drinking until I run out of booze or pass out. For instance, I hold the record among my friends of most consecutive days blacking out. Not being 21 makes this the first option occur more often then not. Although I have been thinking of quitting for a while I typically just stop drinking for around a week to two weeks until I feel good and have a drink with my friends on a Friday which leads to inevitable binge drinking. A couple of concerns that I have with trying to quit is that all of my friends drink and basically my entire environment outside of school revolves around drinking and partying, without it I have no idea what I am going to do or where to turn in the time that I don't drink. My mother, who passed away, was an alcoholic as well I am told, which is something that makes me think I may be genetically predisposed to alcoholism. Any advice about how to go about this or support from someone who has doing something similar would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
First let me say that I am I have never done this sort of thing before although I have read a lot of other people's stories online. I am a 20 year old college student who has been drinking for a little over three years. The first time I ever drank I blacked out and have continued on the path since then. I have had a couple of bad experiences recently that have come to make me realize that maybe I have a problem with drinking. Recently I was released from the hospital, I have no idea how I got there, luckily though I was apparently cooperative with the police and didn't have any charges filed. Even though I don't drink many times per week, around one or two, I find that I am incapable of stopping from drinking until I run out of booze or pass out. For instance, I hold the record among my friends of most consecutive days blacking out. Not being 21 makes this the first option occur more often then not. Although I have been thinking of quitting for a while I typically just stop drinking for around a week to two weeks until I feel good and have a drink with my friends on a Friday which leads to inevitable binge drinking. A couple of concerns that I have with trying to quit is that all of my friends drink and basically my entire environment outside of school revolves around drinking and partying, without it I have no idea what I am going to do or where to turn in the time that I don't drink. My mother, who passed away, was an alcoholic as well I am told, which is something that makes me think I may be genetically predisposed to alcoholism. Any advice about how to go about this or support from someone who has doing something similar would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Just a Sober ******* Now
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: S.IN
Posts: 150
Recently someone read something to me to the effect of: It's not "quitting drinking", it's learning to live sober.
I was once where you are, only we drank a few more times a week. The big difference is that at that age, I didn't have your enlightenment. My warped brain (part of alcoholism) twisted it around that my drinking was normal, and furthermore expected of me at that age. In later years and making new non-alcoholic friends, I've learned this isn't such the case. Apparently not everyone frequently blacks out in their late teens and early 20's... It's actually quite the opposite. Even in the years where it's "more socially forgivable", most all people have control. Myself as an alcoholic, never had control. Once I had that first beer, I was on a mission. And at that age, I would've been on a mission to crush your streak, and there's a good chance I've beat it in the past or at least came close. How I lived through all that is a miracle to me.
I can't tell you what to do. It's a personal choice each of us have to make on our own. I can however tell you stories of the stupid s*** I did in the past while drinking that I still replay over-and-over in my mind today. I can also tell you that I had a TON of fun in my early 20's, but looking back, me being drunk wasn't why I was having fun. I can listen to your struggles; I've been there; You're now in a community where we've ALL been there. I can tell you stories of how I should be dead as a DIRECT result of drinking. I can tell you stories of how this disease has progressed through my 20's and into 30.
Opinion: Yes, if you're an alcoholic, quit now. It sounds like you've come to the realization that you don't have a control over it once you start, and you're starting to have a bit of regret/remorse over it, which means you're at a bottom; there's no need to keep digging. Heck, I'm a bit jealous... Had I had the enlightenment that I had a serious issue with drinking at age 20, I might not be sitting here thinking to myself, "wow, I've pissed away a lot of years doing nothing with my life."
Just know though, we're here to listen and help.
I was once where you are, only we drank a few more times a week. The big difference is that at that age, I didn't have your enlightenment. My warped brain (part of alcoholism) twisted it around that my drinking was normal, and furthermore expected of me at that age. In later years and making new non-alcoholic friends, I've learned this isn't such the case. Apparently not everyone frequently blacks out in their late teens and early 20's... It's actually quite the opposite. Even in the years where it's "more socially forgivable", most all people have control. Myself as an alcoholic, never had control. Once I had that first beer, I was on a mission. And at that age, I would've been on a mission to crush your streak, and there's a good chance I've beat it in the past or at least came close. How I lived through all that is a miracle to me.
I can't tell you what to do. It's a personal choice each of us have to make on our own. I can however tell you stories of the stupid s*** I did in the past while drinking that I still replay over-and-over in my mind today. I can also tell you that I had a TON of fun in my early 20's, but looking back, me being drunk wasn't why I was having fun. I can listen to your struggles; I've been there; You're now in a community where we've ALL been there. I can tell you stories of how I should be dead as a DIRECT result of drinking. I can tell you stories of how this disease has progressed through my 20's and into 30.
Opinion: Yes, if you're an alcoholic, quit now. It sounds like you've come to the realization that you don't have a control over it once you start, and you're starting to have a bit of regret/remorse over it, which means you're at a bottom; there's no need to keep digging. Heck, I'm a bit jealous... Had I had the enlightenment that I had a serious issue with drinking at age 20, I might not be sitting here thinking to myself, "wow, I've pissed away a lot of years doing nothing with my life."
Just know though, we're here to listen and help.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hey tryingsomething ,
Welcome to SR , must have missed your post when i looked through in the morning ( i like to say hello and encourage new people ) .
SR has got lots of useful information on different methods people use to work a recovery, it's BIG on support .
Hope you come and post again ,
Bestwishes, m
Welcome to SR , must have missed your post when i looked through in the morning ( i like to say hello and encourage new people ) .
SR has got lots of useful information on different methods people use to work a recovery, it's BIG on support .
Hope you come and post again ,
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 559
welcome!!
i partied hard in my early 20s. i also variously blacked out, passed out, got in trouble with the police, and on more than one occasion woke up with a strange man in my bed and no recollection of inviting him there.
my drinking became progressively worse, until i finally quit at the ripe old age of 40. i'm learning how to have fun without alcohol. i still have crazy hair, a faceful of piercings and a great many tattoos. i'm still me, or at least i'm beginning to learn who i really am without the mask of alcohol.
for what it's worth, my mother and father are both alcoholics, as was the stepfather i grew up with. nature or nurture? i don't know for sure.
if you are worried about your drinking now, consider doing something about it. don't wait until it becomes life or death, as it did for me and i'm sure for many others.
take good care.
i partied hard in my early 20s. i also variously blacked out, passed out, got in trouble with the police, and on more than one occasion woke up with a strange man in my bed and no recollection of inviting him there.
my drinking became progressively worse, until i finally quit at the ripe old age of 40. i'm learning how to have fun without alcohol. i still have crazy hair, a faceful of piercings and a great many tattoos. i'm still me, or at least i'm beginning to learn who i really am without the mask of alcohol.
for what it's worth, my mother and father are both alcoholics, as was the stepfather i grew up with. nature or nurture? i don't know for sure.
if you are worried about your drinking now, consider doing something about it. don't wait until it becomes life or death, as it did for me and i'm sure for many others.
take good care.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Derby, UK
Posts: 203
Welcome tryingsomething
There are lots of people on this site with tonnes of experience that they share so willingly and freely.
You've come to the right place if you have concerns about your drinking. Read as much as you can on here and ask questions when you need to, people are genuinely happy to help.
In my late teens/early twenties I like you drank to black out a couple of times a week. I thought it was 'normal', I thought it was fun, it's what young people do right?!
Well at 37 with two young children, partner gone, job gone, physical and mental health well on the way to being gone I was drinking to black out every night after the kids went to bed. I have practically no memory of the hours between 8pm and 7am for the last 7 years, that's almost 3 and a half years of the last 7 wiped out, totally unaccounted for. The other 3.5 years might as well have been forgotten for how useful I was during them.
Drinking ruined me and it only gets worse if I let it. I have 45 days sober today, I'm struggling but I've started.
You are free to start whenever you like if that's what you choose.
Take care
Brit xx
There are lots of people on this site with tonnes of experience that they share so willingly and freely.
You've come to the right place if you have concerns about your drinking. Read as much as you can on here and ask questions when you need to, people are genuinely happy to help.
In my late teens/early twenties I like you drank to black out a couple of times a week. I thought it was 'normal', I thought it was fun, it's what young people do right?!
Well at 37 with two young children, partner gone, job gone, physical and mental health well on the way to being gone I was drinking to black out every night after the kids went to bed. I have practically no memory of the hours between 8pm and 7am for the last 7 years, that's almost 3 and a half years of the last 7 wiped out, totally unaccounted for. The other 3.5 years might as well have been forgotten for how useful I was during them.
Drinking ruined me and it only gets worse if I let it. I have 45 days sober today, I'm struggling but I've started.
You are free to start whenever you like if that's what you choose.
Take care
Brit xx
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