RenoDis

I'm questioning what really works in terms of recovery. I have been trying to get better for the last two years. I have progressively been getting worse. I have done the program offered through my health insurance, I have done AA. I feel there is nothing left out there to help me.

I believe in God, and feel like I am a deeply religious/spiritual person, yet I hated AA. I grew to hate it and would come back from AA meetings mad and in a bad mood. I resented the time.

I don't know what to do next...I am seeing and paying for a weekly counselor....it's helping, but not helping in terms of not drinking.

What other options are out there? My husband is running out of patience. I won't go back to AA.

ScottFromWI

All recoverly plan work Reno, but only if you commit to them 100%. There are several other secular methods Smart/AVRT, Rational Recovery, LifeRing, etc. There is also intensive outpatient detox and even inpatient detox. And there are other 12 step variants.

But the bottom line is none of them will work if you don't truly commit to quitting first.

And you will have to make major lifestyle changes with any of them. Getting sober isn't as simple as just not drinking. You may need to change your friends, your activities, some even change jobs or locations to really make it work.

Have you considered a supervised detox ( either inpatient or outpatient ) to get clean first?

sober4myboys

The whole hearted decision that I will never drink again. Have you read about AVRT?

Drink is not worth losing people you love.

RenoDis

What is AVRT?

Love the quote "Drinking is not worth losing the people I love."

sober4myboys

AVRT is Addictive Voice Recognition Technique from Rational Recovery. It's a mental technique for silencing the voice inside you that tells you to drink....

Google it for TONS of info and I have read ALOT about it on here. I will see what I can find if someone hasn't already beat me to it.

ScottFromWI

AVRT is one of the secular ( non 12 steps ) by Rational Recovery. They have their own website and there is a subforum here that discusses many of the popular ones

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

May people here use AVRT by itself or in combination with AA or the others. You'll hear a lot of people talking about their "AV" - or "Addictive Voice" even here in the newcomer's forum.

I certainly hope you can find something that works for you, and welcome again to SR.

sober4myboys

I also believe in God but AVRT still worked better for me... in combination with some of the AA stuff.

You may have to find your mix, no one thing worked it took determination and a combination of other things... but in my opinion the mind is a powerful thing, if you can silence that, then you have a better chance.

Anna

It sounds to me like you're looking to a program of some sort to find a solution, and while that might help, it's not necessarily the answer.

The solution is within you. If you have the motivation, you can and will stop drinking. Believe that you can do it.

duane1

AVRT worked for me.

lessgravity

I'm still at it but AVRT was the first time I really got excited about getting over this demon.

Welcome!

Michael66

Hi RenoDis

I get the impression people have found different turning points in their lives. For me it was when I really fully accepted that I could never drink again. That's when I said to God with an inner honesty "God, I am ready to face a life without alcohol, please help me". It took me a long time to get to that point - previously there was always a little part of me holding back, not really wanting to embrace sobriety.

God bless +

Pledge1

I agree AVRT worked for me..... battle your demons and Win!....

2granddaughters

AA works. Works for millions.

I wish you the best.

Bob R

hypochondriac

SR! Coming here regularly has been my sobriety saver Oh and AVRT x

Also check out SMART...SOS...Lifering... Glad you're here

GracieLou

Can I ask why? What did you hate? Why were you mad? What did you resent?

I am curious for the answer. Do you think you will not have these same feelings towards another recovery program?

RenoDis

I resented the fact that they kept telling me that there was only one way, the AA way. I never believe that there is only one way to do something. Every time I would bring an aspect of my personality up, I was told that I could change. Well, there are some things I like about myself, and don't want to change.

It felt like AA was just forcing their lingo and their steps down my throat, I had to do it "their" way. For example, my last meeting was when I had 30 days. I asked quietly if I could just get my chip in private. The woman gave me a long talk, rubbed my back the whole time (I'm not a toucher, I do not like having my back rubbed, so that made me tense.), told me I had to stand in front of a crowd to get my chip, that I needed to stop resisting, etc.

It just started to feel 'cultish' and I didn't like it and it made me angry. I like parts of the message, but I found the more I went, the more people would just not leave me alone to absorb the message. I had to make friends, find a sponsor, get a service job, make phone calls, etc. It just got to be too much.

So, I haven't been back since getting my 30 day chip. I like my 24 hour chip anyway. That's what it's about for me-one day at a time.

So, I won't go back to AA, and am looking for something else.

Dee74

Sounds like you hit a bad meeting group Reno - there's nothing like that in Big Book - and I'm saying that as a non AA guy.

Neverthless as others have said there are many other means of support out there

I'm with Anna tho - you really have to want to stop drinking, and be prepared to do whatever that takes - nothing will work without that.

D

whipster

Here is something from the AVRT website that explains it in a nutshell:

Observe your thoughts and feelings, positive and negative, about drinking or using. Thoughts and feelings which support continued use are called the Addictive Voice (AV); those which support abstinence are you. When you recognize and understand your AV, it becomes not-you, but "it," an easily-defeated enemy that has been causing you to drink. All it wants is pleasure. "I want a drink," becomes, "It wants a drink." Think to yourself, "I will never drink again," and listen for its reaction. Your negative thoughts and feelings are your AV talking back to you. Now, think, "I will drink/use whenever I please." Your pleasant feelings are also the AV, which is in control. Recovery is not a process; it is an event. The magic word is "Never," as in, "I will never drink/use again." Recognition defeats short-term desire, and abstinence soon becomes effortless. Complete separation of "you" from "it" leads to complete recovery and hope for a better life. The only time you can drink is now, and the only time you can quit for good is right now. "I will never drink/use again," becomes, "I never drink now."

LadyinBC

Reno I sent you a PM.

Nuudawn

I think the willingness to do whatever it takes to not drink, once you've decided you've had enough. For me, it was a combination of things that provide me with the tools to stay sober... a healing community like SR, my spiritual beliefs, a desire to finally know and like myself, a fantastic counsellor who has encouraged me to find my own voice and wisdom and actually LISTEN to it, constant reading..and well, just an incredibly strong desire to experience life for real..head on, in living colour, with full faculties at my disposal..to be brave and conscious.