BeFree4good

REcovery is not about just stopping the drinking it's about getting a life back. I was homeless and broke and ready and waiting for death and begged him to come on. Now I have all the wonderful material things a wife a dog!! But the best thing is I have peace of mind and drinking doesn't ever ok hardly ever sounds good to me. But I don't want to be under that bridge again. Find your way but you have to be open minded and 100% open minded. I'm not saying AA is the only way cause I haven't been in years but it's where I got my roots . But if you go into it totally closed minded as with anything it's not going to work.

Grungehead

I think you will have similar results as you had in AA with just about any F2F support group. I know for a fact (LOL) that you would not avoid hugs if SR was a F2F group. It sounds to me like people were trying to comfort you and include you in the group not realizing that it was making you uncomfortable.

I happen to go to AA and don't have any problems with it, but I do admit the very first time I went back in 1990 I did feel a bit out of place and found some things "weird". It probably didn't help that I was 29 at the time and felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. But when the people started sharing their experiences I found myself nodding my head up and down a whole bunch during the meeting. That's when I decided to put up with the "weird" stuff for awhile to see if it helped. It did, and I found out that there is meaningful reasons why they do some of that stuff I thought was "weird".

Nuudawn

Bob, there is no doubt in my mind that you credit AA for your every gift of sobriety. But I am saddened that you give so little of yourself to this site other than AA platitudes. Who are you aside from AA? Perhaps it is unfair of me to call you out.
But the poster said "he will not go back to AA"..you even quoted it.
You IGNORED what he said.
You didn't HEAR him...that's what I find sad..you're not respecting what the poster said.

With 24 years of sobriety to your credit...which is AMAZING...you must have a million things to offer..other than the BB scripture that it kind of feels like you are hiding behind.

Perhaps I am being unfair. Perhaps your intention here is to recruit people to the answer that gave you so much. But it's kinda getting a little 'one trick pony" Bob.

Soberpotamus

I wanted to echo Nuudawn here... yeah, who are you Bob? Since you do have so much sober time, I'd love to hear more from you than "go to AA"... Lol!

Carlotta

Jack Trimpey in disguise?

LadyinBC

Bob is a man of few words, however, they are his words of wisdom.

360shoes

Hi Reno,
I can only tell you what worked for me. It sounds stupid but I just decided I was done and I was willing to do anything but drink. I would have duc taped my hands together and super glued my lips to a wall if I had to. I would have went to any kind of meeting to get through a day if I had to. I was pretty miserable before and anything sounded better than what I was living drinking. No matter what, I just didn't let drinking be an option.

Eventually days became weeks than weeks became months. Then I worked really hard being the person I dreamed of being. At first it felt like an acting job. And then it dawned on me that really for me to be the person I dreamed of being I just need to be it.

I wish you the best and hope you find your path. It's there.

Dee74

OK guys lets not forget the OP....I'm sure Bob would welcome your interest via PMs.

let's get back to sharing our experience.

thanks
D

SereneEdition

Hi Reno -

Welcome to SR. SR is a melting pot of folks using a variety of methods & I hope you'll find the support and wisdom to find what work for you.

Many of us struggle for years before finding what 'works' for us too.

Hearing that you're a day by day problem - what are you struggling with right now that would help you stay sober?

seashell2005

your stories

Soberpotamus

What worked for me was finally deciding to quit for good. Sounds too simple, but it's true. Like others have said. Committing 100%. First time I got sober was age 26-27, around 2003-2004, and I was sober over one year. No AA, no program of any kind. I did yoga, healthy eating, exercise, new job, moved to a new town. Therapist. Changed everything.

2nd time around was November 2011, had just gotten married for the first time. Stayed sober 8 months. Exercised, ran, lifted weights, healthy eating, and a therapist.

Finally, the third time around. I checked into a 20 day Intensive Outpatient group therapy (IOP) of my own accord, and was supported 100% by my husband, who was terrified of my behavior while drinking. This time was different. I was ready for it finally. Don't know how to explain the difference... maybe it was growing up, maybe it was losing my mother to her alcoholism due to drug overdose, maybe it was marriage and the love of my husband... probably all of these things, plus the desire to rescue and save myself from doom. It had been easy for me to drink because my grandmother and mother died. I lost about 10 years excusing my drinking behavior that way and "dealing" with grief... I didn't work through grief at all, I festered while under the influence.

I am following up the IOP with individual therapy (she's an ACOA as well), reading lots of books, Vipassana style meditation, a vitamin regimen, the occasional SMART online meeting, a WFS weekly face to face, and even tried AA & a sponsor to take me through the Steps!

The fact that I was willing to take myself into a group therapy setting and open up to other drinkers and addicts was pretty big for me, it was a formality, and a willingness to get vulnerable... revealing shame, showing vulnerability, connecting with others... that was what I needed more than anything. To get to the root of the problem.

And the fact I was even willing to take myself into "the rooms" of AA... well, just take my word for it... that took some major open-mindedness and willingness on my part! Lol. I had some pretty big misgivings about AA, in general (my mom had been in AA and took me with her, I had some memories of 13th stepping going on, and the fact she couldn't stay sober). But I learned there are some good people in AA, there are some good principles in AA, and that ultimately... I think a recovery program is about as good as you are willing to make it. But I did not learn that AA, or any one particular program was "the way" to do it. On the contrary. I've learned to come up with a pretty darn good hybrid recovery program that fits me

So be willing to push yourself to the limits of your own comfort zone, I think this is key. And be 100% committed to sobriety, no matter what!