anxious and scared
Lost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 32
anxious and scared
Hi- wow this hard-- this is my first post and I am nervous--to be honest not sure of what to say.
I have tried unsuccessfully to control my drinking and I now realize that I need to quit. If I don't, my husband has said that he will have no choice but to take my son and leave.
I live on a small island where everybody drinks--a lot.
We can't move, and I am terrified that I will not be able to stay sober here.
I think this site is fantastic and I've also done quite a bit of reading and so understand the importance of meetings, and so that's why I'm here.
Thank you
I have tried unsuccessfully to control my drinking and I now realize that I need to quit. If I don't, my husband has said that he will have no choice but to take my son and leave.
I live on a small island where everybody drinks--a lot.
We can't move, and I am terrified that I will not be able to stay sober here.
I think this site is fantastic and I've also done quite a bit of reading and so understand the importance of meetings, and so that's why I'm here.
Thank you
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 297
Hi, Kiter. Welcome. You're in a safe place among people who have gone through (or are going through) similar challenges.
Sorry to hear that your environment adds some challenges, but you can quit anywhere. Just like you can drink anywhere. Glad to have you here.
Sorry to hear that your environment adds some challenges, but you can quit anywhere. Just like you can drink anywhere. Glad to have you here.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi Kiter - I think nearly everyone here will tell you they live in a place where people drink a lot.
they may be able to - we cannot.
It's possible to get and stay sober anywhere - because it's about you, and the choices and changes you'll make - not anyone else
D
they may be able to - we cannot.
It's possible to get and stay sober anywhere - because it's about you, and the choices and changes you'll make - not anyone else
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Welcome Kiter,
I'm glad you found us. I know you will find lots of support here. I hope that you can stay away from people who are drinking alcohol for awhile, until you feel stronger.
I'm glad you found us. I know you will find lots of support here. I hope that you can stay away from people who are drinking alcohol for awhile, until you feel stronger.
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: EAGAN
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by kiter 
Hi- wow this hard-- this is my first post and I am nervous--to be honest not sure of what to say.
I have tried unsuccessfully to control my drinking and I now realize that I need to quit. If I don't, my husband has said that he will have no choice but to take my son and leave.
I live on a small island where everybody drinks--a lot.
We can't move, and I am terrified that I will not be able to stay sober here.
I think this site is fantastic and I've also done quite a bit of reading and so understand the importance of meetings, and so that's why I'm here.
Thank you
I have tried unsuccessfully to control my drinking and I now realize that I need to quit. If I don't, my husband has said that he will have no choice but to take my son and leave.
I live on a small island where everybody drinks--a lot.
We can't move, and I am terrified that I will not be able to stay sober here.
I think this site is fantastic and I've also done quite a bit of reading and so understand the importance of meetings, and so that's why I'm here.
Thank you
One of the things you learn in sobriety, is to be your own person and you build the strength to stand on you own and be strong. You learn to deal with life without alcohol as a crutch, and it really is SO much better. You are capable of SO much more than you even probably know right now, but its true. If you stick to this, and as time goes on, you will be amazed at how much you shock yourself in great ways. I wish you the best, and this forum is a GREAT place to start.
Lost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 32
Posted this to sober weekend but also wanted to post here-i'd be grateful for any advice/comments::
Good friend is having a bday party tonight that i was really looking forward to, and everyone will be drinking tons and there's also a big hockey game on---for me a total double threat....
I think I'm going to have to send my husband (a drinker but very supportive) to the parry and just stay home with my son (10) and maybe catch some of the game with him---with only NA beer in the house...
So depressing, but if I drink that will also be depressing.
It is what it is.
Hope you are all doing well.
Good friend is having a bday party tonight that i was really looking forward to, and everyone will be drinking tons and there's also a big hockey game on---for me a total double threat....
I think I'm going to have to send my husband (a drinker but very supportive) to the parry and just stay home with my son (10) and maybe catch some of the game with him---with only NA beer in the house...
So depressing, but if I drink that will also be depressing.
It is what it is.
Hope you are all doing well.
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: EAGAN
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by kiter
Posted this to sober weekend but also wanted to post here-i'd be grateful for any advice/comments::
Good friend is having a bday party tonight that i was really looking forward to, and everyone will be drinking tons and there's also a big hockey game on---for me a total double threat....
I think I'm going to have to send my husband (a drinker but very supportive) to the parry and just stay home with my son (10) and maybe catch some of the game with him---with only NA beer in the house...
So depressing, but if I drink that will also be depressing.
It is what it is.
Hope you are all doing well.
Good friend is having a bday party tonight that i was really looking forward to, and everyone will be drinking tons and there's also a big hockey game on---for me a total double threat....
I think I'm going to have to send my husband (a drinker but very supportive) to the parry and just stay home with my son (10) and maybe catch some of the game with him---with only NA beer in the house...
So depressing, but if I drink that will also be depressing.
It is what it is.
Hope you are all doing well.
Yeah, I wouldnt go right now. Trust your gut and dont put yourself in situations you know you arent ready for or are comfortable with. Sobriety first, and the rest will follow with time.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hi kiter. Good for you - thinking about the consequences of going to a place you might be tempted. We're all different, but I do think early on it's asking a lot to resist it. Many triggers attending a party and hockey game.
You'll feel stronger when you get some sober time behind you - then you can decide what is safe. I can go most anywhere now and not care about other people drinking, but some will always feel tempted. You'll feel so good once you get over this hurdle. Glad you posted about it.
You'll feel stronger when you get some sober time behind you - then you can decide what is safe. I can go most anywhere now and not care about other people drinking, but some will always feel tempted. You'll feel so good once you get over this hurdle. Glad you posted about it.
Faith and reason
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: London
Posts: 941
Welcome, kiter. I agree you should give it a miss this early on in sobriety.
Time for sleep....Day 1 is officially a win! Love this, by the way. Yes, every day you put your head on your pillow sober, you're a winner!
Originally Posted by kiter
Time for sleep....Day 1 is officially a win!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Hey Kiter--
I found that by REALLY watching the other drinkers... it actually makes me see how much I don't want to drink.
Sure, the first drink, I might kind of wish I could have some... but by the end of the night, I'm thinking about how much I would have downed by then if I'd been drinking and then I'm glad I'm not.
You'll notice that some people only have one or two drinks and quit. To me, this was baffling. The other people will keep drinking, and you'll notice that they have a problem with alcohol. They will be drunk and annoying, and you'll think "I'm glad that's not me!" They will wake up hungover and you'll think "I'm glad that's not me!". They will lose their families and children, maybe their lives eventually, and you will think "I'm glad that's not me!"
Welcome!
I found that by REALLY watching the other drinkers... it actually makes me see how much I don't want to drink.
Sure, the first drink, I might kind of wish I could have some... but by the end of the night, I'm thinking about how much I would have downed by then if I'd been drinking and then I'm glad I'm not.
You'll notice that some people only have one or two drinks and quit. To me, this was baffling. The other people will keep drinking, and you'll notice that they have a problem with alcohol. They will be drunk and annoying, and you'll think "I'm glad that's not me!" They will wake up hungover and you'll think "I'm glad that's not me!". They will lose their families and children, maybe their lives eventually, and you will think "I'm glad that's not me!"
Welcome!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
Originally Posted by kiter
I live on a small island where everybody drinks--a lot.
We can't move, and I am terrified that I will not be able to stay sober here.
We can't move, and I am terrified that I will not be able to stay sober here.
I've no idea where you live so I reserve the right to be wrong on this one, but I really don't think I am.
Lost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 32
I live on a Caribbean island, and I'm afraid that I'm not exaggerating when I say that everyone drinks---and not only at bars--at kids birthday parties, sporting events, school events (I remember last year at the school play it started to rain so they announced: "We're going to try and wait this out but don't worry, the bar is open!".
There is no law here against drinking and driving- so everyone does it---in fact the bars and restaurants will offer drinks in "to go" cups.
Everyone goes to the beach a lot and we hang out at the resorts where you are surrounded by tourists drinking as well.
I'm not sure why it is that ALL the expats drink--I guess because in this culture's it is not only accepted-- it is encouraged.
I love living here- but probably not the best place to try and get sober.
Also, there is no AA.
There is no law here against drinking and driving- so everyone does it---in fact the bars and restaurants will offer drinks in "to go" cups.
Everyone goes to the beach a lot and we hang out at the resorts where you are surrounded by tourists drinking as well.
I'm not sure why it is that ALL the expats drink--I guess because in this culture's it is not only accepted-- it is encouraged.
I love living here- but probably not the best place to try and get sober.
Also, there is no AA.
Lost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 32
Husband is at party and my little boy asleep, and I'm going to make it thru day 3.
Although sad to miss birthday party I'm also feeling good about my decision to stay home, and glad to be sober.
Hope everyone out there is doing well.
And thanks for all of your support.
Although sad to miss birthday party I'm also feeling good about my decision to stay home, and glad to be sober.
Hope everyone out there is doing well.
And thanks for all of your support.
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