lessgravity

Wanted to go back and re-read this thread of mine. Day 22 in the bag today. Most I've ever had.

Here's to staying strong.

13unluckyforsom

Well done your doing it - not always easy but your doing it the same - hope there's more success to come for you

FourSeasons

Great job and what great progress for you!! End of week 3 and the start week 4! I am exactly one week behind you. Today is my day 15. End of week 2 and the start of week 3!! This is my longest sober stint too.. All my best to you LessGravity!! 4S

LadyBlue0527

First, I stand and applaud you for going back to a prior post to take time to reflect.

22 days is awesome lessgravity. I promise you, it just keeps getting better!

Nuudawn

Well done LG...well done : ) I count you as one of my buddies in the 'hood. Keep on keepin' on.

lessgravity

Four - excellent, let's stay in touch and stay strong. Here's to a better, sober life.

Lady and Nuu - both of you are inspirations and members whose posts I most look forward to reading - comrades in this scrappy insurgency against the Beast and all his armies. Thank you both.

Croissant

Hi LG....great to see you are kicking goals.

I read through this thread and wondered what is different for you this time, do you think? More planning? Have you learned new or different ways to deal with cravings or stresses?

jkb

I am thrilled to hear that LG... So happy for you. Keep at it.

Jess

AlefVavResh

Awesome!

lessgravity

I can't say with absolute certainty what it is, Croiss. I think it's a lot of things. On one hand, my rational mind has gone all the way down the road of understanding and belief that drinking does absolutely nothing for me. The only thing that drinking does is feed itself - the beast, whatever you call it. It doesn't relax me, it doesn't make me stronger or calm - it helps me get to a state of numbed-out oblivion, sure! But that state only causes anxiety, suffering, sadness, regret, nausea, and pain. I can't drink like someone who leaves half a glass at dinner - truthfully that's just not what I want! I want to get wasted. And I don't want to want that anymore.

So there's the rational mind speaking and if it was that easy I think this website would have a hard time getting people to sign up! The harder part is the beast within, the irrational, self-defeating, incessant, unquechable addictive voice that demands I feed it the poison it thinks it deserves. Reading Rational Recovery and Kick the Drink Easily helped me get some disassociation from my beast. Those two books are invaluable to me.

AlsoI think it's both meditation (I have been doing transcendental meditation for 20 min twice a day for almost 2 months now) and an acceptance of suffering. Pain is the classroom. I want to learn to suffer well.

Finally it's this website. There was a post from a member just recently about the fact that she has decided to "moderate" that really affected me - I was surprised how deeply it did. It scared me. We are all faceless to each other on this site but so much of the pain and growth and loss and gain that we all go through is very tangible and real. Thinking of this person made me so sad and scared for her - and sad and scared for myself. There is no such thing as "moderation" - anyone who even speaks the word is an addict, plain and simple. Seeing someone who suffered soooo deeply because of the poison give in like that - it's an awakening. And then there are the success stories like Nuu and Lady and Darkthoughts - among so many others (RobbyRobbot, not to mention the grand pupa Dee) - that make me want to keep going.

Stay strong. Sober life is a better life.

Croissant

Thanks LG for such a insightful response to my question. x

We all have so many different stories and I really could feel your struggles in your earlier posts. I also saw one of your quit dates was the same as mine, 26 July.

I'm so glad to see you laying some strong foundations and yes, we have some wonderful inspiration here to assist with helping us find ways to a better version of ourselves.

Strange, I read some of those moderation threads too, and they scared the hell out of me also.

Look forward to sharing the journey. Lovely to hear you are so committed. Hugs.xx

Lightning Bug

The idea of moderation scares me. It is all or nothing for me and I choose nothing.

lessgravity

To me this is because moderation is an addict's Santa Claus. Do we really think that people who don't have drinking problems even consider the idea?? Course not.