It's time to handover
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Eire
Posts: 211
Welcome home to Ireland SB. I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing my dad 2 years ago was so very painful. I hope you have support from you friends and family here. Grief can be very lonely. So keep posting. We are all here to support you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891
Tammy, thank you. I worry what I post may seem strange to many but being from EIRE, i'm quite sure you understand, this whole process is very 'i your face', coupled with alcohol no matter where you turn.....even the youngsters who have taken the 'pledge' seem to forget. I don't know, it's been a long time since i've been here, perhaps i was just oblivious in the past but boy does alcohol control everything, it is so so hard to avoid it's company.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Eire
Posts: 211
yes LP, its very in your face here. I'm lucky, my immediate family are not big drinkers, barely drink. I forget how drink is so in your face here, until you point it out. Good for you staying strong (alcho wise), while here. Yes, I understand and don't ever worry about posting 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891
Thanks Tammy i'm posting often right ATM because it's keeping me sane and away from temptation. I love being at home although would prefer fork different reasons but Ijust wish alcohol wasn't in my face 24/7. I'm just looking at it as somewhat of a challenge to prove my worth.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891
I normally live on the other side of the world. This is normally my sleep time. I'm not asleep , i''ve never thought of myself as a needy person, perhaps I was wrong. Please respond to this post. I don't want do do it all on my own I won't and I can't, I can't because if that is me and my dearest mums life has come down to then, we're nothing. You may be questioning whether i've drank yet, prob presumed, well actually the answer is no but , hey ho i so so wish my SR marchers were here, they're not but I am and it's hell
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
There's always someone around J....and even if there's not I find forums like the spirituality forum are really great reading.
I can only imagine how you're feeling right now - but there really are a lot of people thinking about you and wishing you well
some things you can't measure in post counts or responses.
I hope you can get some rest J.
D
I can only imagine how you're feeling right now - but there really are a lot of people thinking about you and wishing you well
some things you can't measure in post counts or responses.
I hope you can get some rest J.
D
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,169
Hi J it's me, how are you doing? There are so many people thinking about you and lending you their strength,my of can do this sweetheart, I absolutely know that you can. I am with you in my heart and squeezing your hand when things are tough. Mum and dad are already together, holding hands and looking down with pride at the wee lass they brought into the world. You are loved.. Be strong
L
L
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Hey Life, I'm here too!! You know you can always PM any of us Marchers and we'd love to talk. What you're going through right now, it's so hard and oh so overwhelming. You're hanging on, though, and you're reaching out here - that's a great thing.
The letters to your dad brought tears to my eyes. Beautifully written. I wish there were more I could do but right now I'm sending you cyber hugs. Keep posting please - we're here!
The letters to your dad brought tears to my eyes. Beautifully written. I wish there were more I could do but right now I'm sending you cyber hugs. Keep posting please - we're here!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Dear Lifet, I'm with you in spirit, giving you a big (((hug))). You have much strength and your letters to your dad are beautiful. Stay strong and stay with us, your sober-mates who are also here as you travel through this difficult journey!
Lots of love,
Sass
Lots of love,
Sass
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,133
Lifetplant, I got a PM from another poster who expressed concern about you and wanted to alert me to this thread, so here your SR Marchers are to hold your hand! We'd be there in person if we could but know that we are for sure with you in spirit!
That is just amazing to me - -the amount of caring here, and that Poster A reaches out to Poster B to rally support for Poster C (that's you).
I think that you will feel great about yourself and will have earned many, many dancing bananas
for staying sober under your current circumstances! The fact that you're checking in and posting here really speaks to the strength of your commitment. WE ARE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU -- please hang in there! And I hope you aren't being shy or reticent about taking care of yourself and your sobriety first, whatever that takes.
Love and hugs!
That is just amazing to me - -the amount of caring here, and that Poster A reaches out to Poster B to rally support for Poster C (that's you
).I think that you will feel great about yourself and will have earned many, many dancing bananas
for staying sober under your current circumstances! The fact that you're checking in and posting here really speaks to the strength of your commitment. WE ARE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU -- please hang in there! And I hope you aren't being shy or reticent about taking care of yourself and your sobriety first, whatever that takes. Love and hugs!
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: EAGAN
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by lifetplant 
My Mum passed away today. I live far from home. I'm supposed to be flying back but my flight is currently 5 hours delayed, it has given me ample time for thinking. I've written a letter to my Dad, I hope you will bear with me.
Dear Dad,
I'm sorry to give you this terrible news, Mum passed away today. It was completely unexpected, I trust you hadn't been informed of her impending arrival. She spoke about you so fondly, never a bad word about you was spoken....she did get a little frustrated with me sometimes though, as I always wanted to know more about you She wasn't angry, I think she was just tired from repetition. I didn't need convinced Dad, I knew you were a special man but it meant so much more to hear her say it again and again and again and again.....I dreamed of meeting you.
She's a pretty special person Dad, you'd be so impressed with how strong she remained bringing me up as a single parent after you were gone. I have spent time thinking of that over the years, I don't believe I could be that strong. I wonder sometimes what you were both thinking walking down that wedding isle, both acutely aware of how little time together you both would have. I'm sad today Dad. I'm very very sad but that sadness is touched by a little glimmering light. You barely had enough time to get to know each other before you were parted. I have been very fortunate to have spent 40 years in your beautiful wifes company, it doesn't seem fair does that Dad. I got to spend so much longer with her than you did. Take care of her Dad, I know you will, she's on her way to you now. May you both enjoy every moment together. I've intended on staying behind for a while longer, but neither of you will ever be far away from my thoughts.
Dear Dad,
I'm sorry to give you this terrible news, Mum passed away today. It was completely unexpected, I trust you hadn't been informed of her impending arrival. She spoke about you so fondly, never a bad word about you was spoken....she did get a little frustrated with me sometimes though, as I always wanted to know more about you She wasn't angry, I think she was just tired from repetition. I didn't need convinced Dad, I knew you were a special man but it meant so much more to hear her say it again and again and again and again.....I dreamed of meeting you.
She's a pretty special person Dad, you'd be so impressed with how strong she remained bringing me up as a single parent after you were gone. I have spent time thinking of that over the years, I don't believe I could be that strong. I wonder sometimes what you were both thinking walking down that wedding isle, both acutely aware of how little time together you both would have. I'm sad today Dad. I'm very very sad but that sadness is touched by a little glimmering light. You barely had enough time to get to know each other before you were parted. I have been very fortunate to have spent 40 years in your beautiful wifes company, it doesn't seem fair does that Dad. I got to spend so much longer with her than you did. Take care of her Dad, I know you will, she's on her way to you now. May you both enjoy every moment together. I've intended on staying behind for a while longer, but neither of you will ever be far away from my thoughts.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891
I think I was a little OTT with being a drama queen earlier. I thank you all for your responses, not only to the Marchers but to the others for popping their head in. I became overwhelmed and I just started to loose it today. I'm not normally a 'poor me person', or rather i'd like to think i'm not but, I don't know, for some reason, all my toys fell out the pram today, it was all about me. I've calmed myself down now. We take Mum to church in 3 hours, thankfully the people have stopped arriving at the door. We get a couple of hours reprieve before round 2. I'm so so glad to have all you guys on SR as an outlet. I am humbled by the amount of thoughts and responses I have received. It's amazing actually to think where I possibly may have been or the state i'd be in without having met all of you guys and having to go through this. 'd probably be like half of my family at the moment, drunk, crying, nursing a are head, trying to cover up to the kids, starting a conversation and not having any idea what the conversation is about, etc, etc, etc.............and so it goes on. Okay round 2 about to commence. I may write to my Dad again i'm not sure if this is allowed, perhaps i'm supposed to have started a blog but i'll carry on until told otherwise, it really does help.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,420
Dear LifeT,
You are an incredible person and it sounds like you are taking it one day, and one hour at a time, as is so needed at a time like this. Your fellow Marchers are there with you in spirit, and my prayers are going out for you and yours each day.
Your letter to your dad touched many people here on SR, and I am grateful to have you as a Marcher. Take care of yourself, as it sounds you have been doing to the best of your ability, and reach out anytime through PM's and know that we are here for you.
Peace,
1day
You are an incredible person and it sounds like you are taking it one day, and one hour at a time, as is so needed at a time like this. Your fellow Marchers are there with you in spirit, and my prayers are going out for you and yours each day.
Your letter to your dad touched many people here on SR, and I am grateful to have you as a Marcher. Take care of yourself, as it sounds you have been doing to the best of your ability, and reach out anytime through PM's and know that we are here for you.
Peace,
1day
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Lifet, I got a good chuckle about that! I always think of my fingers as "sausage fingers" when I type on my iPad :-)
Please don't worry about needing support. We all have times we need more than usual and that's the way life goes. I don't know how I would manage in your shoes and hope you will keep on using us as a lifeline as long as you need it. Somewhere down the line, we usually pay it forward by helping someone else who is in distress - as we all are at times.
Hugs,
Sass
Please don't worry about needing support. We all have times we need more than usual and that's the way life goes. I don't know how I would manage in your shoes and hope you will keep on using us as a lifeline as long as you need it. Somewhere down the line, we usually pay it forward by helping someone else who is in distress - as we all are at times.
Hugs,
Sass
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