amandaw

I've been a real bitch the past few days. I'm mad I can't be normal. I'm mad that I think about alcohol nonstop. I'm mad every time my husband gives me "the look" when I'm drinking. I'm mad that nothing ever freaking gets done at my house unless I do it. I'm mad I'm gaining weight. I'm mad my daughter has been very difficult the past few days. I'm mad about my work situation. I'm mad that I'm mad and I'm not being very nice to my husband.

I don't know how to manage my anger. Everything irritates me. Especially my husband. I'm rude to him and passive aggressive. I also feel my moods change instantly. I'm on Zoloft 100mg per day, but I've never maintained more than 5 days of sobriety (except when pregnant) since I started on the Zoloft about 2 years ago. So I don't know if the anger is caused from withdrawal or from chemical imbalance. My goal is to get off the meds, but I will need to taper off and don't know if this is a good time to do it.

Any suggestions for keeping anger under control? So far my husband is the only one to be the victim of it.

helenwulfgar

Any drug that is made to effect your mood is probably going to do just that- effect your mood. I tried meditation once...didn't work as well as I'd like, but it did calm me. My main advice is when something is really pissing you off or irritating you, take a deep breath and don't respond. Find something to take your mind off the instant problem and go back to it when you've had time to think.

artsoul

I found that I was a much calmer person once I stopped drinking. The anxiety and depression caused by alcohol had me living with frayed nerves all the time and it just seemed to get worse and worse.

Maybe a month of sobriety would help you figure some things out?

Dee74

I think the biggest things are time - and continued sobriety.

Drinking on meds is bound to affect the meds, and drinking is bound to affect your moods.

I don' think there are any short cuts but keeping a journal and a gratitude list daily can help keep our focus in the positive.

Doing things for others - service work, volunteering really helped me too.

D

DaveT

There is a Solution and it is vastly more than that. Firstly you must decide without reservation to quit drinking and attend AA meetings where there are people just like you and much help and experience. Somebody somewhere has been right where you are today , and made a remarkable recovery and a new life . There is Hope here , just ask someone who has walked the path before , we will hold your hand and lead you out of the wilderness.

Bubovski

Not sure that Zoloft should be taken at all with alcohol.
If you have been angry pretty regularly for two years maybe the Zoloft isn't working too well, or the mix with alcohol may be worsening things.

Suggest in the morning you do a little meditation relating to your needs for the day re anger by turning to a force higher than you, or God if that feels all right and take it just for the upcoming day. You can consider some of your reactions to aggravating situations and via meditation ask that you might be reminded not to act badly. You may also consider if your reactions are really appropriate and well thought out. Are there optional responses?

Zoloft may need a taper after two years (discuss with doctor).
If you have had up to five days sobriety the daily spiritual meditation will also be helpful re the booze also.

PeppyGirl

Hi there Amanda,

Like you I was constantly annoyed with everything, and mainly my husband. I kept hoping he would change. I continued to drink to deal with my frustrations. I went on an anti-depressant because I was sure that would help. Guess what? Nothing got better until I quit drinking. Give it time and hang in there. I was amazed at how the things that used to bother me so much don't anymore. You will get all of your emotions back instead of numbing them.

I will say that I have been sober for a month and my relationships all around have been much more rewarding. My husband and I still have a lot to work through but most of that is caused by things that happened due to my alcoholism. Give it time, stay sober and it will get better! Hugs, PG

amandaw

Thanks for all your suggestions and words of support. The anger has arisen after quitting drinking. Not while I was drinking. I know how to taper off Zoloft as I did it during my last pregnancy. (I ended up going back on it in my 3rd trimester because I was constantly crying. Not angry, just sad and worried).

I know it's mourning the loss of alcohol that causes me to be snippy. I will try to write a gratitude list daily. I have much to be grateful for.

toomuchtoolose

Hey there - I find horse riding helps me get that 'release' from pent up anger that alcohol used to give me. Other hobbies and sports really help too. I had such a frustrating week this week and went and swam 20 lengths rather than hit the pub. It does work. Also,make time for yourself and give yourself space and a break now and then xxx

Daisy1981

Hi there, I know exactly how your feeling. I wrote the other day how I was so angry and didn't understand why. I am still learning about myself and now know I need help to stop drinking. The anger though has clamed right down. I run and it helps so much. I've been a runner for years so I know its not for everyone. Try some exercise it boosts your mood and leaves you feeling good about yourself. Also as said earlier meditation helps I'm still learning it - mindfulness that is and just being in the moment but it is helping. x

Climber122

A real eye opener for me was learning that the root of anger is fear. Once I stopped drinking to deal with life and AA began showing me how to live sober, I realized all the things I was afraid of. We tend to be control people and so we spend a lot of time fearing we won't get what we want or need, or fear we will lose what we already have. If you find you are angry a lot, it's probably fear at the root of it.

In early sobriety I was like a rubber band that has been stretched tight and then plucked like a guitar string - if you imagine that rubber band is your mood, when plucked it will go from one extreme to the other violently. But if you abstain from alcohol and get into a recovery program, you will find the rubber band is still moving, but less and less over time until one day, it's still. We all need to level out. We all have mood swings early on because we used a drug to cope with life instead of learning how to live rightly. You will too if you stay with it and work towards your recovery.

But everytime you find yourself angry, ask yourself the simple question, "What am I afraid of here that is causing my anger?" When you shine some light on it and realize it is your own mind generating your mental discomfort, and not the acts of others or situations you are in, you are well on the way to having a pretty good day

quitforme79

When I first quit drinking I was angry on and off for the past few months. I am no dr but drinking and being on medication may be cancelling out any good effects the medication is supposed to have. The longer I stay sober the better I am able to handle all of my emotions. If drinking is no longer working for you, maybe it's time to consider stopping and see how your mood improves.

Mizzuno

Anger can really do a number on us. It takes time for things to "Normalize" within our brains, and body. Maybe you need a little more help with things right now? Let your family know that you are feeling like crap, and you need their help around the house. Get it out. I don't mean take it out, but get out what you are thinking, and see where this takes you. Your husband will not know what you want if you do not tell him. Sobriety in the beginning stages is a very sensitive road. I know that you can do this, and posting on here is a big step in the right direction. Good for you. One step at a time.